To date friends ex?

[imasize3]

My friend had an ex and they were together for a year, she wanted them to move in together (he lived about 2 hours away at the time) and that was the catalyst for their breakup as he didn’t want to.

Three years since and she’s living with her fiancé and seems very happy. I bumped into her ex on a night out and found out he’d moved back and we live close, he added me on socials and we’ve been talking non stop and he’s asked me out.

I’ve spoken to my friend and she’s clearly pissed of wish me and said she’d prefer I didn’t go out with him

Why would I break off a friendship over a man I didn't want anymore? What's it to me if two other people are happy?

I just don't get the logic. Fair enough, sometimes it's not cricket but it can't be a blanket rule that they're untouchable. I don't give enough of a shit about my ex from X years ago to care though.

Are you that desperate for a shag?

My best friends ex told me he’d always had feelings for me, and asked if he could take me out, several times over the following few years after they broke up.

The answer was always an immediate no, without hesitation. Because that’s a hard line that you’re not ever supposed to cross.

Theres quite literally millions of men out there - why would you want to cross that boundary with someone who was involved with your friend?

If these are your views then share them with the op.

Ive had a mate date 2 of my ex’s. Technically had no issue but he kept it secret both times which ruined our friendship.
if it was a hard breakup or still had feelings then i wouldn't be happy, even her being engaged doesnt mean theres not feelings for “the one that got away”.

sucks she cant be happy for you but imagine inviting you out or to the wedding and her ex is there.

so as many have said do you want your friend or a potential new partner?

I honestly wouldn't care if anyone dated an ex...they'd be welcome to them! But...there is apparently'a code' and if your friend is upset, then you should maybe consider her first if you value her friendship. If you don't...then crack on 🤷‍♀️

i thought that was an unwritten friendship rule, I wouldn’t do it and wouldn’t like my friend doing it

Lots of people share.

Not just men

Why even ask the question? I've read threw a few responses and well, your taking none of the advice. Don't ask people a question just to tell them their answers wrong 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣

In my 20s I had 2 x 1 year relationships
1 I ended, nothing bad happened, i just didn't think it was "the" relationship - I would have been happy for him to date a friend a few years later
1 we split because he cheated. I thought he was the love of my life, I was devastated. I would have found it really difficult if a friend wanted to date him a few years later.

So it sounds like she was really hurt by the end of relationship. If that's the case you have to way up how important her friendship is and whether it's worth losing it over dating this man

So she didn't break up with him, he broke up with her because he didn't want to commit and move closer to her and eventually move in with her. He wasn't into her that much, but she was hence why she wanted him to move in. She must have been pretty broken when it finished and now you're stabbing her in the back.

You'll reap what you sow.

I’m now engaged and have a baby with my exs best friend. To be fair my ex was a prick but life is to short. Do what makes you happy.
if any of my friends wanted to date my ex I’d tell them to crack on

@imasize3 unwritten law that you do not get romantically involved with a friend's or a family member's ex!!

Well. They were not married or anything. She has a fiancé. It was only a year. Now if that is the one. Yup. Maybe go for it slowly. Don't date to showcase that you can handle his privates as well. Nobody care. You are going to get hurt.
You do know that there are two types of exes though: Mr "King" who did not find his Queen and Mr "Shit that was a close one" that you escape from. I would be pissed if I went through hell and my friend went to help herself to the gutter I just left. Not every fit is "all men belong to me, stay a spinster bitch". Yep. I would be careful in your position.

I'm a bit surprised by some of these comments...

I think it depends how close you really are to this friend. I think she's being unreasonable, personally. A one year relationship?? 3 years ago! Cmon. How old are you both? Sounds like she wants to be happily engaged and leave you single.

However. A best best best best friend would be an absolute no go for me and I wouldn't ask at all lol.

A close family member is now married to my ex boyfriend - yes it was a bit awkward at first, but we’ve all moved on. I was happily married when she started seeing him (it had been a good few years) and was just happy that she was happy. Going by everyone on here I’m the odd one!!!

I was going to say the same 😂
She's got a fiance she shouldn't care what her ex is doing I know I never have

personally why pass up on a possible relationship, especially if your
friend is dating,

This is a tricky one given that it was a really serious relationship for her and wanting him to move in, it would be awkward.

U could say no out of respect for your friend or u could go out with him and he could be your soul mate. Weight it up, lose friend but gain a few dates or even a soul mate OR say no u want to keep your friend.

So this planet has 4 billion men but you decide to date your friends ex?
🙄

Isn't it funny how she never came back to reply... 👀

I am being pursued by a man who was with a friend of mine for eight years. I only knew them in the last year of relationship. Their break up was amicable and she is very happily with another man -but I don’t think she would be very happy if I got together with her ex, and I have told him that I don’t have a relationship with him for that reason. For me it would be weird. However…. although he is attractive I am not smitten by him and I know if we got together it would only be a short term thing. . I suspect that if I were smitten, and if I thought it had long term prospects I would think differently.