To date friends ex?

[imasize3]

My friend had an ex and they were together for a year, she wanted them to move in together (he lived about 2 hours away at the time) and that was the catalyst for their breakup as he didn’t want to.

Three years since and she’s living with her fiancé and seems very happy. I bumped into her ex on a night out and found out he’d moved back and we live close, he added me on socials and we’ve been talking non stop and he’s asked me out.

I’ve spoken to my friend and she’s clearly pissed of wish me and said she’d prefer I didn’t go out with him

But she wouldn’t share a dildo with a stranger either, and yet the strangers’ sloppy seconds 🤮🤮🤮 are OK?

At least try to be be coherent, and preferably less vile in the language you use.

Whether your friend is right to feel this way or not, I think you’ll probably damage the friendship or lose it entirely if you go ahead. You have to decide whether that risk is worth it. I’ve dated friends’ exes, and indeed am really good friends with some of DH’s exes, but it’s always been with everyone’s goodwill.

she wanted them to move in together (he lived about 2 hours away at the time) and that was the catalyst for their breakup as he didn’t want to.

If I wanted a serious relationship then I’d possibly be wary of dating somebody who has previously indicated potential commitment issues. What do you know of him as a person from him having been with your friend beyond whatever charm he’s currently putting out to you?

Fun fact, I'm married to my friends ex! However we were all really good friends, they broke up, 6 years then passed and the 2 of us reunited after coming out of LTRs at the same time. By this point my friend was more of a distant friend. I let her know before we went public and she was seemingly okay with it and hasn't fallen out with me. But I realise our situation is not the norm.

Your friend has told you she wouldn't be happy. So you have to understand if you pursue things with her ex you've a real chance of losing a friend. If the relationship doesn't work out (and chances are it wont) then you've lost both of them.

I wouldn’t want to date a friend’s ex anyway, especially when the break up hurt them, so I’m voting yabu.
Only do it if you’re prepared to lose the friendship ( which you will).

Out of respect, isn't there an unwritten rule that you steer clear of friend's exes.

You asked your friend for a reason, so I suggest you now respect her response.

If you are very good friends then I would say it’s like dating your sisters ex. Too icky and gross.

Plenty of men out their OP be a nice person and leave this one be.

This. Fuck that... or not as it were.

You asked and you have got your answer.

I doubt she is being territorial or jealous, not if she has moved on but they didn't end on good terms. If it had petered out and they were still friends I think the answer may have been different. He rejected her, she was hurt and having him around will just irritate and remind her of that time. She will feel awkward asking and probably won't want to meet up when he is around.

Your choice

Classy

Nah, I wouldn't touch my friend's ex with someone else's.

Have some respect for yourself and your friend. There's countless single men so no need to go for one that's dipped it in your friend. Gross.

Hmmm is this real, or is this the step mum playing out what happened 10 years ago...

Now you mention it …. 🤔

👰🤵🏼‍♂️ 💒

Stormyweatheroutthere , hopefully he's washed it since then !!!!

I'm sure he's had a shower since breaking up with her friend.

Ha ha! I was going to say OP needs to read that thread.

I wondered that too!

It depends on whether or not you care about the friend ditching you for breaking “girl code”.

I don't think it's unreasonable given that they dated for a year 3 years ago BUT its also not unreasonable for her to feel weird and uncomfortable with it given that it was obvious a serious enough relationship on her part that she wanted him to move in.

I think you could easily lose a friend over this - tbh you've probably already damaged the relationship by letting it get this far.

I think if you just want to date him and see what happens then I'd let it go and prioritise my friend, but if you really think he could be the love of your life and a long term serious relationship that's worth losing a friend over then go for it.

Only you can answer that.

I know it's a slightly different situation, but my widowed FIL has just married his late wife's (MIL) best friend. MIL died and a few months later they got together and started a relationship. According to some of these replies, it's viewed as a bit "grim" that FIL is now putting his penis in MILs best mate and her mate should also be feeling queesy about it too. Personally, I'd go out with your mates ex if you really like him, no one owns another person and your friend seems to have moved on. Just be prepared that your friendship might come to an end. Only you can decide if he's worth the risk.

Yeah, that's not cute IMO.

He could end up being ‘the one’ and I say this as someone who’s ex best friend is now with my ex boyfriend!
And she’s only an ex best friend because she couldn’t handle the guilt despite me giving them my blessing.
Don't let her refusal to let go of the past stop your future x