To date friends ex?

[imasize3]

My friend had an ex and they were together for a year, she wanted them to move in together (he lived about 2 hours away at the time) and that was the catalyst for their breakup as he didn’t want to.

Three years since and she’s living with her fiancé and seems very happy. I bumped into her ex on a night out and found out he’d moved back and we live close, he added me on socials and we’ve been talking non stop and he’s asked me out.

I’ve spoken to my friend and she’s clearly pissed of wish me and said she’d prefer I didn’t go out with him

And you’re so bored you can’t even be arsed to go out and find a man who hasn’t already nutted your pal, love.

Depends how good a friend it was, where they were in life now, and how long they had been together, how long they had been apart...

I got together with a friend's ex, but she was living in a different country at the time (had been for a number of years) and had had no contact with either of us since she left the UK. She was still pissed off that I had "gone for her ex knowing she would always have feelings for him" and put some vile things on Facebook about both of us "backstabbing" her.

Point is, she was no longer a regular in my life, so I went for it. If she was a close friend who I saw regularly, I would probably have swerved the guy.

Because that makes sense. 🤔

Ding ding ding, well done on stating the obvious.

Does her new partner know that you've been told the ex is off bounds?

@bluebalou I saw your post before you got it removed, demonstrated how bored you are that you dragged up a thread to post irrelevant nonsense. Maybe you should get some self respect and a hobby?

Your sad and you know it haha

Ooooooh, I bet you were on it like a whippet.

Am
Glad u did tbf im a busy girl you should be glad I bothered to post.

Your friends ex has had a lucky escape.

Some women are just not very nice. Obviously if your friend is going to be upset by it but you'll do it anyway.

I’m clearly in the minority but I think it’s mad that you shouldn’t be able to date him.

She doesn’t own him just because they dated 3 years ago. He’s his own person, you’re your own person, and if you want to date each other then you should be able to date each other.

I agree it would be different and a friendship-killer if she was still heartbroken over him, depressed, etc. but she’s moved on (well, supposedly) and engaged now.

I know it just isn’t the done thing in society to date friends’ exes, that’s just how it is, but I honestly think it’s mad.

I agree with everything you said.

Im wondering what her current fiance would think if he knew she still had feelings for her ex to the extent she tried to control his relationships

Reading the ops responses I wonder if the woman is saying no because she thinks her ex deserves better!

I still like my ex's , I don't want a relationship but if I knew the op and the responses were indicative of her. I would feel sorry for him and say no 🤷‍♀️

I would rather sew my vagina shut than shag my friends ex

It doesn't really matter whether it's reasonable or unreasonable in the opinion of others. Fact is, you asked your friend and she's still clearly not happy about it. So it may be a case of choosing the man or the friendship.

Personally I think given the details shared that it might be fine. I'd wonder if your friend would come round to the idea of it given a bit of time. I think it's fair she'd be weirded out initially even if totally over him. General levels of acceptability I think depends on the dynamics of the friendship so may explain the mixed responses here.

Me too !

There are huge numbers of men but you're going to go with one who was with your friend. It doesn't matter if she's over him. It's still weird and unnecessary.

You can choose your friend or you can choose your friends ex. You can’t have both though.

Agree.

It's not 6 months ago, but 3 years.
He didn't want to move forward with her.

I haven't ever gone near a friends ex but in these circumstances when it is several years ago I think she is being unreasonable.

Is she a really really close friend?

Nothing to add other than I loathe the phrase 'sloppy seconds', it's absolutely grim.

My best friend did this to me, equal style of relationship, I was crazy about him. While I was away (summer break at uni), they got together. Frankly ruined my 3rd year at uni, I hated her from then on. Of all the men in the world, she had to choose the one I cared about. The betrayal was what killed the friendship, nothing else. I wouldn’t be surprised if your relationship with your friend is already ruined.

I can't for the life of me see the comparison?

It's 3 years on, not 3 months.
Friend is happy and engaged.