ExH brought his dog in my house without permission

[CfCfCftooMuch]

ExH just dropped off his dog in my house. For me to look after, even though i had said no to looking after him. The dc let Exh and dog in when i was out. They love that dog and of course had no knowledge of anything.

ExH is gone now for two weeks. Abroad. He just walked out and took off to the airport, leaving dog behind.

I've got two dc and two cats and work long hours. The cats have never spent a night/day alone in the house with this dog. He is kind and mellow, but a large breed. Size of a wolf.
I've contacted a dog shelter and might have to go to go through rspca.

Posting to tell someone. This is just one of many many ways he always finds a way to use me or control my life. I didn't want any of this. And now im left here calling shelters (which im asked to pay for), calling womens aid, calling rspca, figuring out how to do this without upsetting the dc, texting exH to sort out care if he doesn't want me to take this further, posting here for support, trying to figure out tomorrow with sorting out the kids, my work, other stuff, business meeting and my actual day job. Honestly?! Wtf!!!

I think people are acting on the assumption that OP is actually a decent human being who'd rather not see the dog left to starve alone in a house for two weeks?

Yes, how is this not genuine abandonment?

I agree with taking the dog back and just leaving it there with food for a few days. Let him know and then wash your hands of it. He can tey to get a friend to take care of it. You can not let it be your problem.

This is a tricky legal situation because if OP leaves the dog at her ex's house knowing he isn't there, she is the one who has abandoned it.

She should talk to the RSPCE and if she can't contact them, a vet. Huskies have a high prey drive and its not safe for her to go out and leave the dog with her cats.

What if someone chucked their snake or llama in your house, would you have to look after that as well? Can’t believe some people are saying you should just look after it. Yes it’s shit for the dog but that’s on the Ex to sort out, not OP.

@MissingLynks I'm sure they will refuse.

They'd be refusing to my back as I walked out - very apologetic of course

What other option is there? Suck it up and show him he's won? Leave the dog alone in a house? (Could never do that!)

Or treat it like the poor abandoned animal it is? Seems like the only humane option to me

She can easily say to the shelter the dog was given to her by her ex because he couldn't cope, and she doesn't want it either.

The only legal requirement if I gave my dog to a friend , is for my friend to update the chip of the dog (the new owner details) or risk a fine of 500 quid. She just has to say she was given the dog but she has changed her mind, he doesn't want it back, and she didn't get round to changing the details on the chip.

There is no 'signing over legal ownership' for fucks sake when you take someones dog, the onus is on the new owner to update the chip, and loads of people don't , just like many people don't even have their dog registered at vets.

Kennels ive called want payment upfront. Which i dont have. (Im not in the uk, so local help offers wont be useful sadly)

I called the rspca equivalent here and they said they can open a case tomorrow. I gave exh until then to figure something out.
I dont have exhs credit card details. Animal shelters wont take the dog because he is not abandoned. Ownwer is not an unknown and he is here with me.

Older dc is 13. He can take dog to dads place before school tomorrow. Exh lives 10 minutes from school/me. After that..who knows.

Definitely call the dog warden. I'd be fuming,

Disney dad with the dog that he dumps them in the kids.
Take it to the dog shelter or RSPCA and say it was abandoned. I’m a dog owner and I would never leave mine with someone who says no.
He’s a sneaky cunt!

Call the dog warden in the morning.
Provide your ex's contact details
State I cannot care for this animal
I have not agreed to look after this animal
I do not have the funds to look after this animal
My responsibility is to my children and my cats.

My children are too young to agree to look after this animal, too young to walk it, can't pay to feed it.
Please collect the dog
Repeat, repeat, repeat...

There is a waiting list for rescues to accept new dogs, you literally can't just drop them off, including RSPCA.

Sorry OP but you idiot DH has made this your problem. You cannot just abandon the dog without consequences and if, as you say, your kids love the dog, then they will not easily understand your actions if you do.

Kennels will require proof of vaccination including for kennel cough. They will not accept without. I think your best move as others have said it to take dog to his residence and feed, walk, etc if you really can't have it in your house. It's shit I know.

Can you shame him on fb? Put a post up tagging him in and saying can anyone look after his dog until he comes back as he’s dumped it on you and you can’t look after it.

Abuse at its prime example.

Abuse to the dog.

Abuse to the cats.

Emotional manipulation and alienating of the kids, oh mum did this.

And abuse of mum, controlling and coercion.

You know OP I have never said this before but perhaps this is a case for daily mail or FB.

Play him at his own game. Look at the outrage here. Ask locally for anyone who can help you out. Charge him after. Set up a go fund me to support the place that takes the dog.

I have dogs and kennels and would be delighted to get on board with this. About time these people were shown for what they are

And i actually really like and care for this dog. The dc love him. Exh knows this and exploits my love and care for both.
So i wont be dumping him alone anywhere for days on end. But i might file an animal welfare or a police report or something.

"Your dog is back in your house. Don't come into my house ever again"

Hand it in at a police station and say you found it.. It hasn't got your details on the chip has it?
Dd did this when her now ex brought home yet another ddog..

I literally used to do this for a job. There absolutely is "signing over legal ownership", we ask for proof of your name and address and if the dog's microchip details don't match we can't assume it's yours - yes, it's not uncommon for chip details to be out of date, and in this situation we would tell you that you need to sort out updating them before we can take the dog. There doesn't exist some magic free-for-all shelter that just takes any dog no questions asked, they've all heard all the stories before, there are legal processes that need to be followed or the rescue leaves itself open to being sued.

If you give a dog to a friend that's an exchange between two private parties and a completely different situation. If said friend then wanted to hand the dog to a rescue and hadn't "got round to" changing the details yet, they'd tell her to get on with getting round to that.

I can’t believe all the posters saying that if the OP leaves it she is the one who abandoned it. So if the ex had just driven to a kennel or a dog sitter and left the dog there in the yard when they weren’t home, the kennel would have to just care for it because if they don’t they are abandoning it?

i would take it back to his house, text him that the dog is there, text the rspca that the dog is there and the dog warden whoever. Then block his number. If the kids are upset they need to understand they shouldn’t have let him in with the dog.

Back in early 1990's I was looking for a rescue Whippet to adopt.

Our local Dog's home told of two beautiful very fine fettle purebred well trained Whippets that were surrendered.
They thought it very unusual, but this was before the days of microchipping- usually it was waifs and strays at that time.

Later on that day they received frantic calls from their rightful owner-

The Whippets had been 'surrendered' - by the woman's husband.

She could prove beyond all doubt they were hers {KC registration papers and they were delighted to see her}

She got her Whippets back and began divorce proceedings.

{We did manage to get a dog from the dog's home- a half starved lurcher puppy recommended to us by the lovely manageress}

Can you call a non emergency police number OP for advice about reporting abuse. He shouldn’t be coming in to your home, I get that it is difficult if the kids have keys but this is him controlling you. Or can you get legal advice? Are you in a union or have an eap with your employer where they offer legal advice?

The advice re dumping at the vets is my favourite. Do it if you know his vet. Or put back in his house and tell the RSPCA equivalent it’s been left home alone for 2 weeks.

how old are your DC? Do they understand the absolute shit position they have landed you in by doing this?

Do they have any pocket money? In your shoes i'd be using that to buy food, and they would be walking and caring for the dog.

@haje thank you ❤️ you get it.
@kittybiscuits exh has been told not to come here many many times. Once i called the police when he refused to leave and started carrying things out (baby pictures, on mothers day). Police never came because it wasnt physical. Only mental torture..

This disgusts me - his behaviour that is. The poor poor animal.

i know it’s not ideal but… if dc is 13 they walk it before school and feed it breakfast. They walk it on way home. You pop in on the way home from work and feed, top up water, etc.

I don’t know but has your dc ever indicated to their dad you/they would look after the dog?

Having read your post where you’ve exhausted lots of options, I’d try the above. I know it doesn’t solve his ongoing behaviour towards you but in the circumstances seems a humane solution for the animal that didn’t ask for any of this.

I would still, as other posters have said, be telling him he needs to sort asap or else… he doesn’t know what options you’ve exhausted.

I’m So sorry you’re dealing with this. But I’m sorry for the animal too that needs a better home than he’s giving it.