Not hosting yet another Christmas

[halloumidippers]

I have a big family, but we are the only ones with children, which has meant we've really sleepwalked into hosting Xmas each year.
Practically it makes sense - parents have downsized, and my three siblings live either alone or with partners so we have the only house big enough. DH family are all abroad.
When the kids were tiny it was lovely, but there now tweens and it's all a bit too much.
We really want to spend Christmas just the four of us but when I floated this with my mum I got an absolute earful of how selfish I was being, to deny everyone the chance to be together. To be fair everyone is helpful - most bring a dish, my brother can't cook so does a nice big wine delivery ordered here a week before... but we just want our space to ourselves and enjoy the holiday together.
I've just had my sister on the phone saying how I've upset mum, that we've always done it this way...
am I awful to want to spend Xmas with just us? I've said everyone's welcome on Boxing Day.

Seriously just relax, be firm when asked, you don't have to justify anything. You are doing something different for Christmas this year and that's it. Invite them for another day if you must but don't forget that'll make Christmas day stressful too if you plan to host boxing day for example
Better yet arrange to meet them out for a Christmas meal or experience before or after the actual day

What would you feed them all on boxing day?Would it be a full meal, leftovers or a different meal? Would it just not be less hassle to have them over on Xmas day if you are cooking anyway it do you plan to get a takeaway? It's just if they bring a dish anyway then you don't do all the cooking but if you are still planning a Christmas lunch or dinner for your own nuclear family you will have to do a few dishes anyway? I'm trying to figure out how it would be less stressful to have them over on boxing day instead. I'd invite them over new years instead. That way you can enjoy whatever time you have over the Xmas period.

Your sister could pull out a finger and host, I wouldn't appreciate her putting her oar in and would have told her so.

^This. Don’t host the CFs at all.

We've been doing it the weekend before Christmas for years. After one year when eldest DC was 4 and id not spent any decent time with them as I was busy in the kitchen I said never again. Now Christmas day is just out household. We have everyone around the weekend before for the big Christmas dinner and everyone quite likes it. Grandparents and an auntie pop round Christmas day to see DC and have some snacks. Then go home.

Just because you've "always done it this way" doesn't mean you can't have a break.

Just tell them sod off. They are your family, so you are meant to be direct/blunt with them and if they are over stepping you don't need to mince words, just say you want a break from hosting at your house so they can sort themselves out at Christmas.