To expect DH to finish work on time

[finishontimeffs]

Every time when he wfh it’s the same, I’m sat in the lounge for hours with kids screaming, fighting, won’t leave one another alone for a second while he’s sat in the next room ignoring us.

I know I’ll get lots of YABUs but it makes me irrationally angry. I’ve been at work myself and am fed up.

Does he have a time he is meant to finish i.e 5pm or is he messing around whilst at home and not getting the work done? Or possibly delaying coming in because he normally has a commute so is using that time to decompress? Both DH and myself are WFH but DH works for a company that has colleagues in the US so can get stuck in meetings past his 5pm finish time. However he has the ability to reschedule later sometimes. So will stop at 5 and start again after the kids bedtime. If it's unavoidable he'll message me and tell me so at least I'm aware. He doesn't hide in his office ignoring us.

He can finish whenever as long as no meetings or calls (there aren’t) obviously work has to be done but it’s every time and I’m sick of it.

My DC are slightly older so when wfh came in were 9 + 11. But they know if they hear talking not to go in, or if it's quiet they can go and have a chat with him.

I think I would have struggled with DH working from home when they were little, even though we have a proper office.

Send the kids in….repeatedly!

I hate it @Soupwithstring , I cope because it’s not every day but I hate the fact I’m back by 430 and have the worst part of the day to deal with solo as he ignores us!

I really sympathise. How old are your DC?

Honesty depending on the job / work / pay / level of seniority, you can't always just clock off bang on 5pm (would be lovely if you could!).

Are there any things you / he can do to prepare for that time of day to try and make it go smoothly for you? Are you genuinely sat for hours with kids screaming and fighting?

How old are you kids?

What do you expect him to do as he is working?

Why are you sitting in a room for hours with them - take them to the park or something to let off steam. I've been there.

Only 3 and 14 months!

So you both work. I assume someone is getting the kids from school. What happens when he isn't WFH? Who does what then? And do you not have an agreement on a good split of parenting?

Yeah after 5pm divide and conquer. Right you two stop fighting. Jimmy you need to go and sit in Daddy's office until you have calmed down. He will then either have to engage or go into the office.

And is DH in an office or just the dining room or some thing?

Taking them to a park when they’ve been at nursery all day I’ve been at work all day, it’s dark and foggy just so dh can work in peace er no

Why is it always you doing the pick ups?

Sorry that was grumpier than I meant but I can’t and won’t keep them out from dawn till dusk so DH can work at home.

Have you called him out on why he is avoiding family life? In this case I'd be sending the kids in with jam on their hands and the loudest musical instruments.

Depends what his job actually is, but I wfh a lot and certainly couldn't just be "entertaining the kids" from 4.30pm because they happen to be home. I finish between 6-7 and often have to log on after DD is asleep to catch up on stuff I've missed if I've moved away from the laptop by 6.

Can you make him go to the office if wfh doesn't work for you as a family?

Because on days when he works from home it would be a thirty minute round trip whereas for me i drive by the nursery past my workplace. So it makes sense. I do drop offs too. But this is why it’s bloody hard work.

How often is it?

Two or three times a week. Often enough!

i am sure he not doing it intentionally. However have a word with him, but tbh if you did and it was me I would be working from the office, and doing what I need to then A journey home so I would still be in later

its not always possible to just stop you should know that

I think from 5pm onwards, you should just use the house as your home - move from room to room, use the kitchen, no telling kids to be quiet as Dad is working, etc.

It's remarkable how OP manages to work, drop the children off, pick the children up and wrangle them in the evenings whilst DH does his important man job next door.

I do but every single time he’s wfh? I don’t buy that! More likely he can hear chaos and avoids it 😂

I don’t and even if I did they’d ignore me! But I just hate this time of day so much!