Would it annoy you if you kept getting visitors after 5pm on a Sunday

[phanjm]

In laws keep doing this recently and it's just not a great time.

Kids are 4 ( at school ) and 2.

They do so unannounced.

My sis and bro in law keep doing it as well, same time. But on a Saturday, which isn't as annoying.

18 mins to go to see if they do today!

do they just rock up for… a chat?

To see the kids.

Can you just say, “lovely to see you, but next week would you mind popping over earlier, at about 3? We start dinner, bath and bedtime at 5.”

It wouldn’t annoy me because I wouldn’t let it be a habit. I’d tell them the first time they knocked at 5pm that they can come in for 30 mins but not to do it again this time on a Sunday because DD has school the next day and you need to get 2 year old ready for bed in the next couple of hours. Then if they did do it again, i wouldn’t let them in.

I may be in the minority but I can’t cope with anyone turning up unannounced, tho I make exceptions for my kids’ friends

family know better than to just turn up
yanbu

well in that case

“kids love seeing you. But it’s not a great time, could we start arranging a specific day/time”

surprised you haven’t already 🤷

it would be un fathomable for me or my family to just rock up to anyone’s house unannounced

basic common courtesy

I would be texting now, "just in case you're planning on visiting tonight, please don't as it's not a great time to visit". Thanks.

I don't mind unannounced visits by close family. It's just a bit late on a Sunday.

Sis in law said she wanted to stop by today. I should have asked 'what time'.

The only thing stopping me from texting her telling her it's a bit late now is my DD who's been looking forward to it and is expecting a visit.

I have typed this out already but not sending it because my DD keeps asking when is she coming - she told her yesterday on the phone that she'll be coming over today.

My DD has made her a card and is crying because she thought she'd give it to her today.

Not on a Sunday!

PIL used to do this, I just started not getting changed when I saw their car in the drive - they soon realised that post 4pm I would be in pjs 😂 it did stop them!

I think it’s OK to have an open house but at some point there has to be boundaries… your kids are so little and she has school in the morning. I’d personally stop unannounced visits after 4pm. After 4-5you can say it’s dinner time and getting kids ready for bed

So just text her saying “are you still planning on popping over today? If so, what time? Dd wants to see you but it’s nearly dinner/bath/bed,”

If they come round, I would still carry on as normal. So if you see them for 5 mins before going up for start of bedtime then that's their loss.

I can’t do with it, either. I want 24 hours’ notice for any visitors! (Close family excepted, but they’d still give me at least an hour’s notice.)

I would loathe unexpected/uninvited guests at any time.
Mature option would be to communicate nicely and offer to arrange another timetl that suits you.
However I'd probably make a point of leaving the house at 4.45pm fir a few weeks (walk?) with my phone turned off, then when they find you are out say what a shame, perhaps we need to FUCKING ASK FIRST! 😅
Or- what happens when they arrive? Do they expect entertaining? Hang around waiting for dinner to be served?
Perhaps you could use it to your advantage ' I've got xyz I need to be getting on with, can you look after the kids for an hour? ' and you crack on with whatev3r you want to do without little people following you.

Sunday tea was the time we all gathered ( aunts, uncles and cousins) at my nan’s when we were growing up.
It seems a completely normal time for visiting to me, but if you don’t like it you have to tell them.

so you knew she wa coming? so not entirely unannounced

Well then text your SIL and say, "Just wondering what time you were planning on coming over. DD has really been looking forward to seeing you and has made a card but if it's much later you won't really get to spend any time with her because it'll be time for dinner, bath and bed."

I wouldn't let them in at 5pm. Presumably if they wanted to see the kids they've had all bloody day to do so? 5pm is dinner then bath and bed not the time for visits and spending any meaningful quality time with such small children.

@phanjm Why not keep a heads up on a visit quiet? Keep it to yourself! Can a child make a card all by themselves? Have you facilitated this? Honestly just agree a time that suits you. If relatives help get tea and put them to bed, that’s different. If they just delay this and dc won’t settle, say it’s not convenient!

How long do they stay ? 5pm wouldn't be late here even when younger 7.30 was bed time. What's happening at 5pm in your house ? Can you tell them it's your busy time

My DD has made her a card and is crying because she thought she'd give it to her today.

I am confused

why is she crying?

Wouldn’t bother me unless they’re staying too late?