Would it annoy you if you kept getting visitors after 5pm on a Sunday

[phanjm]

In laws keep doing this recently and it's just not a great time.

Kids are 4 ( at school ) and 2.

They do so unannounced.

My sis and bro in law keep doing it as well, same time. But on a Saturday, which isn't as annoying.

I wouldn't mind occasionally but not if it was becoming a habit.

Start having a chore to do around the time they turn up, open the door with your Marigolds on and leave them to it while you carry on cleaning the kitchen/bathroom in your most threadbare jammies.

Yes it would annoy me. PIL used to turn up and just let themselves in. When we moved I made sure they weren't given a key.
SIL used to arrive with BIL and 2 kids as a "surprise" for the evening, when all I wanted to do was get my stuff ready for the next day and just watch tv.
I saw red once and said I thought it was only polite to check it was convenient first. She stopped after that.

Tell dd to stop being wet

Don't answer door if it's not convenient

Jobs done

well yes op

you should have suggested or at least asked the time, given you don’t like her current routine!

that was literally a golden opportunity to say a time

why is your daughter crying?

I think the sooner you say something, the better. If you don’t, they’ll assume it’s okay. It doesn’t need to be a big confrontation - just “We love seeing you, but if you’re planning to pop in on Sunday, would you be able to come a bit earlier so that we can get everything sorted for school in the morning?”

How long has this dragged on for? It's up to you to put a stop to it. Just tell them how it is and you'll feel a lot better.

I don’t answer the door unless I’m expecting someone. Also don’t have an answerphone. Both decisions have saved me significant time and effort

Don't tell your children that people are coming. That way you can cancel them and nobody is disappointed.
Also, this isn't unannounced, you knew your SIL is planning to visit, so you should've said the times you're available.

Well because DD herself is saying that her aunt is taking ages to come and she probably won't come today. DD talked on the phone yesterday with her aunt on FaceTime and that's when she said she'd come today.

I don't usually announce visits. It was just the situation.

DD has calmed down now but she's disappointed. These things happen.

I should just text SIL and mention that it's a bit late, can she come another time.

I said, I'll be home from 1 pm. But usually it's just unannounced. I never announced the busy. SIL did, to DD.

Bless your DD, I hope she does come now!
I’d be telling the family “we love seeing you but can’t do after 5pm (on a Sunday/the weekend/whenever)”. It’s not their business to know why but you can use early dinner or getting ready for school/work as an excuse. Next time someone says they’re popping over - “ok great, any time before 3”

this is odd

your sil said to you that she’d pop over

You should have said “what time thinking as DD counts down the minutes until you arrive”

"fack off will ya, keep comin rahnd 'ere all the facking while. You facking cants ya" - Danny Dyer accent optional.

Should do the trick.

So she would have taken that to mean anytime after 1

good grief op

just be clear

I just did the text. It's fine.

It's more that they'll just be super wound up. They'll have loads of fun and they love their family but then I have to deal with the fall out of it.

It's the second time I've sort of said no. Hopefully the message will come across soon.

They should come at 2 or so. That would be perfect.

Ok, but then you can't be annoyed if she turns up anytime after 1pm.

you are their mother

if you don’t want them to get wound up on a sunday evening

then for goodness sakes… when your says she’s going to pop in, don’t just say “i will be back from 1”, say, “let’s go with 2pm so then i can get them winding down for the week from late afternoon”

This. They should get the hint.

I've sorted it for today. A few weeks ago I also hinted that 5pm is too late. So hopefully the message will get through !

After 5pm, fine. Unannounced, not fine.

People aren’t mind readers. Just fucking tell them politely what suits your family.

I wouldn't even answer the door unless it was a pre arranged visit, I've only had to do it a few times but people catch on quick and they know I mean it so it's just their time wasted.
You need to be clear about what time suits you, it's your home op.

Cant your H communicate all this to his own family?

And you communicate what suits to your own sister?

Why?
Why not just talk to them?