Childcare costs

[LawyerMumAsia]

Good morning. My childcare costs are through the roof. Can somebody please tell me if this is normal. We are two full time working parents with two primary aged children and one toddler. Nursery is £1700 per month and nanny is £3,300 per month including taxes for 36 hours a week. Nursery is 4 days per week but we will be reducing that to 3 days in a few weeks time. We need 36 hours because of school drop off and then nanny comes back again to do school pick up and dinner and to be there during bath time. Her net pay is around £17 per hour. Thank you

I might not TELL my male lawyer boss that as it would be deeply unprofessional, but I definitely think it.

On the whole though, it definitely applies to women more than men.

Thing is though you can’t do everything. With both of you doing long ish hours you have to have a nanny and you’ll be paying for that. You sort of just have to suck up the cost of it and ride it out over the next decade until your youngest is more independent. Some jobs just can’t work within strict 8-6 pick-ups. Even though we haven’t needed to use a nanny yet, we factored in a decade of nanny costs to our life insurance calculation as we knew we’d need more expensive childcare if there was just one of us.

However, I do think it’s quite rare for both parents to be going full pelt with their careers. You’re doing well to be managing but you can’t do everything. I’d also say lots of senior men do start to realise they’re missing out. My husband is ceo level and feels the passing of time with the children and recognises he often misses out because of the demands of his role. When I had a more demanding role, we were stressed and stretched too far. I still have a good job but it’s much more planned and less reactive than my old one. I could have become a stay at home mum but I’m glad I’ve maintained my carer as it gives us options but it absolutely stings when i can’t make a school event or spend as much time with mine as I’d like.

@Bunnycat101 thanks. I think people on here would probably be more sympathetic to my situation if my kids were left at school from 7:30am for breakfast club until 6pm wraparound honestly. Having a nanny who brings the kids home early at 3pm
has rubbed people up the wrong way. I have been told on here that most people don’t work my
hours (9.30-6pm or 7pm) and that’s simply not true. London is expensive- a lot of the population have to work those hours. Some women have to clean buildings at night, some
work in restaurants during weekends. This thread has made
me feel guilty for working and I think this is exactly what causes women to fall off the ladder. Just read the threads. Then years later when they’re struggling to get a good job when their kids are grown up, MN will
tell these people off for letting their career go. As I said above I actually feel guilty not working as well
as I don’t want my children to have less choices when they’re older by being weighed down by debt. Apparently deciding to risk one’s career is the most selfless thing even though they could be struggling to get an income when their children are 15 and need extra tuition for their GCSEs.

I also think that people underestimate how hard it is to get a flex job!!! Those who have it think it’s
so
easy.

I appreciate an anonymous forum like this is going to raise all sorts of views and it’s been
interesting to hear everyone’s input.

Where did I say I don’t agree with it?! Simply that Nannys are a similar rate / slightly more but fully qualified with experience and au pairs aren’t. Therefore an au pair would be ‘solve’ OPs question.
I fully agree with paying a decent wage for childcare - my wonderful live in nanny is on £40k with tax, pension, 28 days leave, and food and board!

Good!
28 days leave is a legal standard though, that’s not generosity on your part. Same with tax and pension.

Where did I state I was being generous? Simply that I agree with paying a decent / fair wage?

btw she has 28 days leave plus bank holidays so above legal requirement, seeing as you’re intent with trying to show a lack of decency in pay and treatment when it is the polar opposite! And actually gets around another 4 weeks paid holiday per year whilst we are on holiday. Oh and works 3 hours a day now my child is at pre school. But don’t worry, keep going with your own agenda… oh and I am by no means complaining about my childcare costs, I am not the OP…!