Childcare costs

[LawyerMumAsia]

Good morning. My childcare costs are through the roof. Can somebody please tell me if this is normal. We are two full time working parents with two primary aged children and one toddler. Nursery is £1700 per month and nanny is £3,300 per month including taxes for 36 hours a week. Nursery is 4 days per week but we will be reducing that to 3 days in a few weeks time. We need 36 hours because of school drop off and then nanny comes back again to do school pick up and dinner and to be there during bath time. Her net pay is around £17 per hour. Thank you

I think it's fine, you have 3 young children and 2 high earning full time working wage earners.
You are using 2 of the most expensive forms of childcare.
Lots of people spend lots of money on childcare if they don't have family around who can help.
It's possibly unrealistic to expect to be able to put savings aside every month of your working lives, but I expect you both currently put substantial sums into your pensions (savings for retirement) and mortgage (increasing equity)?

I work to cover my bills (including childcare) and am currently using savings to live, petrol in the car etc. if that helps you contextualise your budgeting concerns?

Oh right, so it’s not that you can’t afford it, just that you don’t put away any savings (aside from what will no doubt be a decent pension, as PP mentioned) not really sure what the issue is then. You’ve got 3 children, you’re in London, you need lots of paid childcare, and you can clearly afford to fund it.

Could you scrap nursery and have your nanny 7.30-6 or something like that, and include drop off, all day with your pre schooler and pick ups? Can you and your husband alternate days in the office to avoid needing childcare until 8pm?

We had a nanny and the flexibility really helped us but they are expensive. We also had a nanny for our youngest and pre school for our older two so I understand the high costs but these years are short.

That's what it costs to pay other people to bring up your children. Parents (not just women, all parents) can't have it all.

Was thinking the same. Quite sad really

The young children phase where you need paid childcare is one where most people don’t get a chance to save, realistically! Whether you’re on a low salary or a high one.

OP, you need to make peace with the fact that you can’t save money in the way that you would like to while you have expensive childcare costs. It won’t always be that way.

DH and I mostly work at home now, but when we were in the office we took it in turns to finish at 4.30pm to collect from after school club and do dinner and bedtime. I then logged back on in the evenings and worked until 11pm/midnight. That’s just what you do when the kids are young. You have to pick between spending time or spending money. I spent the time because I wanted to see my kids (and they needed to go to bed at 7pm), but it nearly broke me.

Your childcare is expensive because those are some really long antisocial childcare hours. You haven't really got any choices other than suck it up and pay it, or reduce your own working hours. Won't be long until they're all at school, you'll be able to save then.

£17p/h net? You’re paying your nanny too much. You can definitely employee a nanny for day 60hrs a week at around £16p/h gross in London, taking your childcare bill down to around £4700p/m

When I work from home nanny finishes at 7pm. On the in office days I need until 8pm as I work in office until say 6.20pm and then have the commute

Yeah so you can't do that when you have kids. You & their dad have to tag team so you are out of work bang on 5.30, you may want at least one of you to have a job nearer home.

With kids come some sacrifices. If you haven't made any in your jobs, its usually because you've deprioritised your kids completely.

I'm a working single mum with a career so I get it....but it's not normal for both parents to work those kind of hours - but I'm strict on the hours I work when it's "out of hours" - doesn't take a genius to figure out why your childcare are so high when you have a nanny working until 8pm.

I think both of you need to reassess your careers or at least your employers otherwise what was the point of having kids

Oh and i get op. Dh and i both have big 6 figure salary jobs in london with commutes but nonetheless, you have to consider your children's needs, and two parents who outsource them so entirely, is not good for DC. DH had to accept it couldn't just be me flexing hours either, we share the load.

I dropped to 4 day a week when mine were small, and DH and i both alternated working 7.30-4.00 vs 9.30 - 6, wfh on different days, so that the kids were just in childcare from 9-5 at most, 4 days a week, and usually two of the days were 9-4.15. It is a massive difference from 7am- 8pm.

That is an insult. We are an actual profession and you should be paid more to be available at the hours OP’s nanny is. That’s the going rate for a good, experienced, live-out and sole charge nanny responsible for multiple children and all that entails. London is an expensive place in which to live. The nanny is a human being with her own outgoings and expenses to meet. These are OP’s children, she absolutely shouldn’t be looking to drive down the cost of having a professional care for them in her home.

I’m not one to criticise working mums, I was one myself but depending on the age of the children I wonder how much you see them presuming they’re young and in bed around 7.30.

And you wonder the same about their Dad too, I hope?

3 kids and childcare is always going to be pricey. Even more so if you need childcare outside the 9-5 kind of day and in london

There’s no need to get on your soapbox. The average pay for a nanny in central London over the 23-24 tax year is £17.66 per hour gross. OP is paying £17p/h net, so it’s perfectly reasonable for her to reduce to the average rate.

Thanks, all. Lots of useful things to think about. I won’t get into the ins and outs but let’s just say it’s a very tough job market out there and these hours are not our preference. We are taking whatever work we can get at the
moment (contract /consulting type work that requires full time). We are honest hard working tax payers probably covering several children’s nursery costs through tax so let’s just be kind and realise we are all doing our best.

I think given we need a driver who is responsible for three kids including a toddler I presume an au pair isn’t really an option - unless others have experience of this? Thank you

Why does an au pair need to drive? Is public transport not an option?

@V0xPopuli sorry you don’t get it. I presume you’re not contracting and trying to get hired for a permanent position at your company (essentially being on a 6 month interview). I presume you didn’t drop to flex hours on your first week of your new job? You’re not in our boat. We have been in your boat where your boss trusts you and you can drop down to flex but we are not in that boat now. I need to highlight these things because people come online and don’t know the half of what people are going through. I am sure you mean well in your comment though.

You live in London - you have the best public transport in the country! Surely you’re better off with them NOT driving?

It’s normal for London, especially when you throw in a nanny too and have 3 children.

I have 3 under 2, work full time and pay £6k per month in nursery fees alone. No nanny.

couple of things - why do you need the nanny until 7 if you WFH? 1700 for one child in nursery sounds a lot - we pay around £800 pm for 4 days, but we are in the North 🤷‍♀️