Elderly neighbour feeding our cat

[EdgarAllenRaven]

We moved to a new area just under a year ago, and our cat initially struggled to settle as the new house used to have a dog living in it. He kept going into the neighbours through her back door.

It turns out that she keeps her back doors open every day so she can feed the birds and squirrels. She is an elderly widow.

However, now our cat barely comes home at all. I have been getting increasingly upset, distressed and furious, have sent her many messages asking her not to encourage our cat to go in.

She says she feels like a prisoner in her house if she closes her doors! Now I noticed she even has a litter tray!

She says she doesn’t feed him, but I’m pretty sure she must be as he is a huge Maine Coon and is no longer eating the same amount here. He seems to pop in here just to eat once in the morning and once in the evening, other than that I rarely see him.

What can I do? AIBU to send a formal letter?
I’ve told her in person how upset my kids are, they miss their cat. We’ve had countless conversations and text messages, she always blames the cat for rushing in!

We have been "chosen" as owners of the cat next door. He sits on our doorstep ready to greet us first thing in the morning loudly purring He has made a little nest in a patch of long grass under our window and waits for us to appear. We don't feed him or encourage him in any way (other than a tickle under the chin) but he is always outside our house.

I had a cat who decided they really liked our neighbours house. Cat would get in whenever she left a door or window open and just hang out like he owned the place, even sleeping on her bed. Like yours, it was a very confident pedigree breed.

Neighbour hated cats and would knock on my door to complain about the cat and insist that I stopped it from coming to her house.

Cats don't give a flying fuck and will do whatever they want and go wherever they like.

If you let them.

I for many years kept pedigree breeds, mainly Siamese and British Shorthairs. I never let them outside, other than into a cat proofed garden, which they could not escape and therefore my choice of pet never impacted on or annoyed anyone else. Very simple to achieve.

I’d be tempted to ask her to settle your next vet’s bill.

Additionally you are quite lucky they returned the cat to you. If I came home and kept finding the same cat, I’d pop it into a box and deliver it to the nearest animal sanctuary as an abandoned pet with video evidence of it trying to stay in my home.

She might say yes and keep the cat.

Or she might say no and keep the cat.

If the op wants to reclaim her animal, she’s going to have to have an indoor pet.

You can get collars that say things like, diabetic cat please don’t feed. Might help.
@Llhaaf the cat would then be scanned and returned to the person who owns it. You’re obviously not an animal lover if you think it is good idea for a cat to be caged and driven about for absolutely no reason. What would you do if a mouse found its way in?

Cats are either

A. Free souls, able to go where and do what they please

Or

B. Owned animals that need to be under control like a dog is.

I'm all for B. But then they need to be under control at all times, including owners picking up their shit and stopping them from hunting, both which are illegal if you have a dog.

You can't have it both ways

@Llhaaf "Surely a Maine Coon is an expensive indoor cat? Why on earth are you letting it out?"

Because cats are not property.

In that case, the owner should take better care of their property and make sure it cannot go on to someone else's property

Feeding a cat is not theft

If your dh threatened one of my elderly family members, you would not only have the police on your doorstep but also a non harassment injunction.
If you don't want your cats to wander, keep them on your own property

Yup. They are not like dogs. No loyalty whatsoever. That is the beauty of the cat. Complete indifference.😅

I would cat proof the garden so he can't leave,will need more interaction and play.

Keep the cat in for a few weeks and see if you can get your hands on some wild rats. Loose them out near her open door when she has food down for the cat and watch the fun unfold.

My cat loves the neighbours especially this one lady who now appears to be his side chick.
With that said at least I know when he is out, he is being cared for and loved. She has also alerted me to problems I didn't know about and saved his life because of it so.....
He stays in more during Winter as he hates the cold.

Ummm. If I buy a cat in the UK, then it is indeed legally my property.

Additionally, according to the Animal Welfare Act, the cat is my responsibility, because it belongs to me.

You might like to think that your cat is as free as a bird to go where it pleases and make its own decisions, but thinking it doesn’t make it fact. Your cat is yours and your responsibility, unless you hand it over to a cat adoption agency like Cats Protection.

Goodness.

I didn’t say I was an animal lover and I would hand over the animal to mainly inconvenience the owner.

Yep. I lost my dear ginger boy to the neighbour. Cats are disloyal bastards.

Well aren’t you a lovely person?

If I’ve asked a person to ensure their cat doesn’t enter my home and they do nothing, then they don’t deserve a lovely response do they.

Their cat, their responsibility, their problem.

What would you do if a rabbit entered your home?

Pleasebeafleabite, if the men in your family would go and threaten an elderly woman at your behest, to the extent that she would be too terrified to even report it (as you proudly claimed in your later post), are you not concerned about what else they could be capable of?

I cannot imagine the sort of man who would do this and would be seriously worried about the women around him.

It's not beauty for allergic, non cat loving neighbours who find shit in their gardens persistently though.

God I hate this bullshit from cat owners. If cats can't be looked after and prevented from being a nuisance then they shouldn't be pets.

But this will annoy the cat lovers. 🙄

@Llhaaf you really are the gift that keeps on giving.....