To understand why some women have children within a a short time with multiple different partners?

[Beautifulweeds]

Genuine question, arose in conservation today. An in law has 3 DC from 3 different Dads and is only 25 and is a single Mum to them. Their Dads are going about their normal lives, including sleeping with other women (probably more pregnancies) and don't have much to with their children. She's not the most invested Mum (meaning not at all) has to live off UC, leaves her kids with grandparents, who in reality look after them.

She has met another new fella, doesn't take precautions (oh I keep forgetting to take the pill) and it won't be long before she has another baby.

So, I guess my question was...hopefully you would learn from experience that you can and should take responsibility? Guidance doesn't always work, so same old patten repeated...meet someone, get pregnant, let someone else look after baby...taken away...fostering...adoption.

We've tried to help and intervene but a brick wall. X

@Bumpitybumper

This is the uncomfortable truth. The responsibilities of working are very similar to the responsibilities of being a parent. You need to learn to be on time, your time isn't your own, play the long game. If you are having children as a alternative to working then you aren't suddenly going to be the sort of person who is making sure their reading is done or volunteering to coach a sports team.

I worry that they believe the same lifestyle will be available for their children which I'm not certain it will be.

Aren't teenage birth rates at record low.

There is an article in the BBC today about a couple in Wakefield on 60k combined and the husband is getting a vasectomy cos they can't afford children!

As someone who is facing fertility issues and whose nearby hospital is closing down maternity wards cos of lack of babies (nw london zone 3), I don't want to discourage people from having babies if they want it but we do need to improve education and aspirations.

@SpoonHeader I'll need to revisit some interesting podcasts I listened recently regarding psychopathy and sociopathy. The prevalence of psychopathy and the subsequential harm is probably greater within a completely different demographic to this group you're talking about.

The quote that promiscuous people are psychopaths is itself completely insane. Like the homeless people reference. Did JP say that also?

I have greater concerns about other things happening with the expenditure of public funds than supporting mum's and their babies.

Whoever mentioned CMS, yes definitely.

Why is this not further invested in or given greater power? The issue regards self employment fathers hiding their earnings for example. Going for this is surely the best way to go towards addressing this.

I know a few single mums who work tirelessly and their children's dads pay a pittance. Some have untouchable income streams which makes no sense and they absolutely can pay more, but don't.

I doubt anyone's here is identifiable as the Bekind brigade. People and circumstances are alot more nuanced than that. Kind of the point we're making on the thread ref this situation.

I was watching a few of JPs interviews and videos recently.To make my point ref the above, there's one area I entirely agree with him on and found his argument on that something that made logical sense. The rest, no way at all. If he did actually say that ref psychopathy, he's losing the plot.

It's interesting to think how our views as posters have been informed by our own experience, what we are currently facing right now and what we're watching.

I think women do this when they they lack other ideas / ambitions about their lives. Being a mother gives them some status and a vague sense of purpose/meaning.

Its strongly correlated with low educational attainment / lack of self esteem and usually happens in working class communities where its accepted / normalised.

It's also facilitated by the welfare system. I know they aren't living in luxury, but it provides a basic income, and means they can avoid working for years.

Well that's the thing with mental health, it can be anything.

In the 1960s they told Bishops that they could cure men interested in children for sexual purposes, they told them part of the treatment was to move them and for them to work on the community.

WPATH mental health advice was accepted by medicine globally and the treatment for autism, body dysmorphia and trauma was to block puberty and in some areas perform surgery on children mutilating primary and secondary sex organs.

As someone else said mental health has been politicised and research is slanted as a result, like a religion it's up to you what you think is most likely.

Prior to Welfare state an innocent rape victim who became pregnant was considered insane.

Mental health stats in court imprisoned Sally Clarke for her babies cot deaths.

Lobotomy and electric shock treatment were once practiced.

I call that quite insane, that's some of the present day and history of mental health.

Much like the women having multiple babies with multiple men and not thinking it through the 'be kind' aren't thinking through the consequences of their behaviour toeards their pets and others suffer the consequences.

No wonder they hate Peterson he explains what their issues are, totalitarian, low verbal IQ, so they like simple solutions and they have a poor comprehension ability, amongst other data.

There is nothing wrong with being learning disabled, the issue is when it comes with a God complex demanding we all live by your ill thought out rules.

If the 'solution' to this was to remove the welfare state to apparently stop 'incentivising' people from having children they can't afford, how come people still have babies in war torn countries and countries with no safety net whatsoever? In fact, often their fertility rate is higher. It can't just be about lack of contraception because for many other women (particularly those with children already) they would choose abstinence over, say, having a baby in Gaza.

Besides the fact it's a bit eugenicsy / social cleansing, removing the welfare state will not work. Some women will always have children no matter their circumstances.

Nobody has the solution, the left nor right.

I sure as hell resent funding what I deem as personality disordered adults with multiple partners and children, who have never had any hope of funding them themselves.

The only solution suggested though were demands for compassion, by the same sort of people I imagine telling people that an XL bully dog is quite safe.

@JasmineTea11 I agree with all of that!!

I think in these situations cultural and religious pressures usually outweigh practicality.

Probably fair to say a lot of people resent funding a lot of things.

If people felt that they were having a fair run and getting something worthwhile for their endless labour and taxation, then these issues wouldn't ilicit such palpable anger I imagine. People are generally angry I feel.

It's again oversimplifying saying anyone who looks beyond the possibility that people are just low IQ idiots are Bekind or compassion brigade. It's akin to the simplification that homeless people are only either personality disordered or severely depressed.

I think the best idea so far is to further incentivise / fund the CSA to go for the daddies. Why don't they do this I genuinely wonder?

Who hates JP? He comes out with some questionable stuff. Also concerning. Some points I feel valid. I'm sure many others would be in the same category as I.

Very black and white thinking here overall.

Oh I'm quite fascinated by the history of MH treatment through the ages. I didn't know that ref genital mutilating surgery for Autism!

Watched a fascinating doc ref lobotomies recently. The daddy of lobotomies in the USA, Walter Freeman, was at one point driving round in a van providing his lobotomy services. Predominantly women of course. Maybe that would work again? 😬

I have a cousin like this, grew up in a loving family, not rich but not poor… other siblings seem fine,
5 kids, 3 dads, doesn’t work, single, lives off benefits… chaotic… and the next man who shows her a bit of attention she’ll probably have his child too.
I don’t get it but that’s just the way she is. The kids are being raised half decently with the help of grandparents and her sister otherwise I’m not sure she would cope.

Oh, and thanks goodness for the welfare state, otherwise I’m not sure what would happen to the 5 kids… though her sis and I have jokes that we should cut out the middle man and just give all our income tax money direct to cousin.

"Very black and white thinking here overall."

I actually took quite a lot of time to think through the psychopaths stuff, it started with BBC Horizon 'Are you good or evil?', I looked up Jim Fallon and then Dan Snow did something with Amy Drs and one poor conscript said himself after fighting in the war he came out of it like a psychopath. Later Peterson said you become what you do which matched other things I had researched. I may be biased, I have through through from multiple sources and am the type to change my mind if enough new information comes my way. That's not black and white thinking.

"Oh I'm quite fascinated by the history of MH treatment through the ages. I didn't know that ref genital mutilating surgery for Autism"

Yes the BBC health editor apparently is in particular keen to burry it, he is married to a woman who gains financially for the WPATH files or Cass report to be not well know. You can research it yourself.

https://sex-matters.org/posts/updates/wpath-the-truth-about-gender-affirming-healthcare/

Taken together, the files paint a disturbing picture of so-called “gender medicine” as neither evidence-based nor safe. And since the first rule of medicine is to do no harm, it is not medicine.

Here you go. As a left wing poster states earlier in the thread, mental health is political.

The General Medical Council, British Medical Association and Royal College of Psychiatrists all refer to WPATH standards as informing their own.

The article is interesting and of course concerning. This is about trans ideology from all I'm reading. I don't see the link to the issue we're discussing.

JPs position on this and the discussions I have watched, are so far the only thing I agree with him on.

Once you watch JP online, the algorithms then expose you to more thinkers of the same mindset and it's easy to fall into the vortex. E.g all promiscuous people are psychopaths, then the Andrew Wilson's ' bring back insane asylums' then the Candace Owens ' abortion is murder' and it unravels like this.

I fell into the vortex myself and fortunately saw what YouTube was doing to me 😵‍💫

bit outing by i have a cousin who has 6 kids by 6 men...

The conversation lead to this, I spoke about that issue amongst many others.

I never mentioned Candace, you did, that's a YOU issue.

If you read the Cass report you will see the link to ASD.

You were it seemed, rubbishing/trying to smear me and my comment about all the odd beliefs that mental health have/had, along with placing women who were raped and pregnant in institutions.

I just couldn't imagine the stress of dealing with 6 of them ( the men that is). Guessing the horrors just scarpered.

Oh BTW it wasn't YouTube I saw those programs I referenced, they were seen when they first came out on BBC probably a decade or so ago.

A recent news story

https://news.sky.com/story/where-am-i-going-to-go-with-the-kids-mum-of-three-left-homeless-after-reporting-threats-to-police-13244561

@LeeAnderthal I read that article this morning. I can believe it also having worked in this sector. There really aren't lots of lovely homes available for people who are desperate and in need.

I recall my time working for a Tory Council that will remain nameless. The focus of the homelessness strategy was to force them out the Borough so they didn't spoil the aesthetics. Cue pavement studs next to cash points, bench adaptations and more.

DH has a niece with three DC by three fathers, none of what you say applies. She was privately educated, has a degree and her parents have been married almost forty years. If anything she was the more spoiled of the two DC. No one understands her actions, especially the third DC with the benefit cap on two DC. None of the fathers are active in their lives.

Interesting (to me at least) what you say about personality disorders, I was (unknowingly) with someone for 23 years that I now think has a personality disorder. He never learnt from anything. He would repeat the same mistakes over and over, sure that this time the outcome would be different. I think he couldn't believe that he could possibly be wrong. There was never any growth of any sort as he was unable to learn from situations.

It wouldn't surprise me if this is what is going on with the OP's in law. She completely believes every single time that this time will be different, this father will be different. She doesn't have the self awareness or self esteem to be able to see that she is making the same mistakes over and over and to learn from them.

Her body, her choice.

To mug off net contributing taxpayers, while she pops out kids she neither seems to want, nor cares very much about.