To understand why some women have children within a a short time with multiple different partners?

[Beautifulweeds]

Genuine question, arose in conservation today. An in law has 3 DC from 3 different Dads and is only 25 and is a single Mum to them. Their Dads are going about their normal lives, including sleeping with other women (probably more pregnancies) and don't have much to with their children. She's not the most invested Mum (meaning not at all) has to live off UC, leaves her kids with grandparents, who in reality look after them.

She has met another new fella, doesn't take precautions (oh I keep forgetting to take the pill) and it won't be long before she has another baby.

So, I guess my question was...hopefully you would learn from experience that you can and should take responsibility? Guidance doesn't always work, so same old patten repeated...meet someone, get pregnant, let someone else look after baby...taken away...fostering...adoption.

We've tried to help and intervene but a brick wall. X

It sounds like she's quite irresponsible however I do think we should all acknowledge the difference in fertility between people.
It's not always as much of a choice as we think it is.
There are probably women who aren't that careful with birth control and have multiple partners yet luckily never fall pregnant.
I myself have fallen pregnant twice whilst using birth control.. and one of the times I was using two different types of birth control!!
I'm just not going to judge anyone for having any number of kids with any number of men at this point.
It's their own business and alot of it's down to luck.
When I think back to some of the men I've slept with when younger I truly shudder.
I'm very lucky that the man I fell pregnant with was my husband who's a decent guy.
It could have been a very different story.
I'm sorry for women who fall pregnant with men who fk off. But I do not hold them responsible for that..especially not in their early 20s.
Who here hasn't dated an absolute piece of shit in their early 20s? Who here hasn't been lax about contraception at some point, especially when younger?

my exs wife did this and it was on purpose

she has 11 kids by 10 different men all asd or adhd they get thousands per month in benefits and both adults(him and her) are on pip as well

first 9 are all conceived with in 6 weeks of each other being born(if you get what i mean)and all one night stands, did on purpose not one knows as she never told them

first she was 17 last at 41

its only her 10th(my ex)that stuck around then 7 months later pregnant again with 11,both planned
she's the most fertile woman i know

my ex went from a dad of 2(my kids 7 years apart)to 13 not that he bothers with my 2 or pays a penny

he only ever been with me as we were together 22 years from the age of 17 so why he ran off with her,(left his disabled kids as well) to all this stress and be a carer to disabled kids that not his and her and left us i will never know

they(well she did) have a enormous 8 bed house,2 bathrooms that turned in to 10 bedrooms as both houses had 2 living rooms that the council knocked 2 in to 1 as adult kid live there still as they are asd and cant live alone

its like a mansion

I’m old enough to remember when having sex outside of marriage or being engaged, was a big deal. The pill was the great liberation and in case of an unplanned pregnancy, abortion was widely available. I can even remember it being said that the incidence of crisis pregnancies would be v rare, because of the availability of contraception.
Anyone over the age of 50 has seen immense social change, being unmarried and a mother is unremarkable, cohabitation is more common than marriage, divorce is almost as common as remaining married, and cohabiting couples face a more than 50% chance of separating….so our relationships are often impermanent, and for any man or woman who is capable of fathering a child or getting pregnant, I don’t think it is unreasonable to expect that some thought is given to the consequences of engaging in sexual activity, not least because bringing a child into this world is the single greatest responsibility facing an adult.
The woman who is the subject matter of this question may have very good reasons for having children in quick succession with temporary partners. She maybe a marvellous mother, who has just been unlucky in her choice of men, or she may have no interest in a permanent commitment. These things are her choice, but for the children it is different. They are cared for (it appears) by their grandparents, which maybe a role they have filled out of necessity rather than choice…(.we don’t know). The children’s fathers are not parenting them, and the household survives on UC which is a figure designed to discouraged people from being ‘full time” parents, so I imagine that money is very tight. The cost of paid childcare is astronomical so it’s going to be v difficult for the mother to find well paid work and improve the family’s economic circumstances.
Being a single parent on benefits and having to look after 3 little children must be v hard on the system physically and emotionally.
This would not be my lifestyle of choice, but people often find themselves without many choices especially mothers where the relationship has broken down. However if these things have happened to this woman by design, then yes I too would wonder why this woman created circumstances which are so demanding and challenging for herself and her children.

I struggled with fertility for years . Married for 9 years and no babies even though I married at 22. Even got referred to uclh fertility clinic by my GP. Was convinced I needed ivf. Was suddenly made redundant 3 weeks ago and then suddenly fell pregnant.

It's extremely inconvenient but it made me realize that perhaps why I wasn't conceiving was work stress and maybe that's why some people on benefits who don't work have so many children.

You think their lives aren’t stressful?

Women get pregnant in war zones, labour camps, everywhere.

Different types of stress I think. For some reason work stress is particularly hard on ttc. Which is why east Asian countries with very long work hours culture have the lowest birth rates (have many cousins who don't get pregnant quickly and are all happily married). That's my theory anyway.

That is... the most bizarre theory. I'm a stress head and my major stress source is work. I conceived at the drop of a hat. Birth rates are low in Asian countries by choice, and said countries are also notoriously misogynist in the workplace with few opportunities for married women. Which is one of the reasons women there don't want to have many babies. The fact that you conceived after you lost your job could well be sheer coincidence. P.S. working class women have put in long hours at manual, grinding jobs for many centuries while also having many pregnancies.