To understand why some women have children within a a short time with multiple different partners?

[Beautifulweeds]

Genuine question, arose in conservation today. An in law has 3 DC from 3 different Dads and is only 25 and is a single Mum to them. Their Dads are going about their normal lives, including sleeping with other women (probably more pregnancies) and don't have much to with their children. She's not the most invested Mum (meaning not at all) has to live off UC, leaves her kids with grandparents, who in reality look after them.

She has met another new fella, doesn't take precautions (oh I keep forgetting to take the pill) and it won't be long before she has another baby.

So, I guess my question was...hopefully you would learn from experience that you can and should take responsibility? Guidance doesn't always work, so same old patten repeated...meet someone, get pregnant, let someone else look after baby...taken away...fostering...adoption.

We've tried to help and intervene but a brick wall. X

There is a low birth rate altogether and the fear is that there won’t be enough people working to pay the pensions of us 40 somethings. But the low birth rate doesn’t tell the whole story, some are having hardly any children and some are having loads. The trouble is that the ones having loads are generally lower classes and on benefits and these kids might grow up to perpetuate the cycle and won’t be working themselves.
Watch the film Idiocracy, it’s scary

I do need to read the Cass report because I haven't fully absorbed it and have only read highlights. I might understand your point ref the ASD link, if you mean that this population are overwhelmingly represented in the trans population and therefore incredibly vulnerable as a result; particularly children.

I don't have a Candace Owen's issue, but my TV does! My YouTube algorithm was a tad obsessed with the terror and it was getting a bit much deleting and refreshing my search and watch history. At one point it felt like a conspiracy, but luckily, she's gone now. I'm spending more time watching warm and fluffy things on YouTube.

I wouldn't use the term smear really. I don't have an intention or desire to smear anyone. I very much enjoy discussing these topics, as the tone of all my posts will probably demonstrate. It doesn't enrage me but I think it does many.

Some points and references made in your posts have been what I'd call off the wall and I think it's important to just highlight that.

What's her excuse? There's just no need, poor kids.

"21-year-old, at risk of violence, a care leaver herself" it's not that hard to understand why this kind of thing happens. In fact, as she's 21 and her eldest is 4, she would have had her first baby when she was legally a child supposedly in the 'care' of the state. I'm not sure anyone should be pointing the finger of blame at a traumatised child.

No, her children are not her body. They suffer and repeat the cycle. Do you drones ever say anything the Internet or telly box hasn't told you to say?

So what do you suggest? Forced Sterilisation? Forced abortion?

Lack of intelligence and common sense
Poor upbringing
General fecklessness
I read something the other day along the lines of 'all young men should have an (easily reversible) vasectomy, and when they have proved they can be responsible and are ready to be, and capable of being fathers, the op can be reversed'. What a lot of misery that would eradicate.

Oh dear indeed.

Is your argument so weak you have to resort to name calling?

I would like to know how you are going to stop her from having body autonomy?

Forced abortion your thing? Forced sterilisation?

The impact on the children is another issue, the impact on the tax payer is another issue but you can't stop women from having babies if that's what they want to do.

Because they can and because someone else will always pick up the slack. Either the state/taxpayers or grandparents or the combination of the two.

We don't have the welfare state where I'm from. Ok, sort of. There are some benefits for genuinely ill/disabled (emphasis on GENUINELY, not some weird bullshit ailments), and for people looking for work. That's about it. Your kids are your problem. Sure, a woman can have as many of them as she wants, but she has to work and pay for them herself, together with their daddy(-ies). If they cannot - they'll taken into foster care. The end. No benefits, no social housing, no free childcare. Your kids are literally your business.

And that's why we don't have generation upon generation of families with huge broods. Sure, with exceptions, but that's what they are - exceptions. As soon as they realise, that you'll have to work and support your offspring yourself with no bonuses from the state - even the thickest of them somehow miraculously manage to avoid all those 'accidental pregnancies' (and contraception is not free either where I'm from).

I think it's an exception here too. Birth rate is extremely low. They just get plonked on the news very often.

Play around with the annual UK survey data on Families and Households released in February by the UK Office for National Statistics, and you find an extraordinary thing: the proportion of lone-parent families in 2020 is now down to levels not seen since the 1990s.

They're just not very bright.

Maybe tell us where you're from and we could have an idea about whether all the things you've listed are a good idea or not ...

Yep, puts me in mind of my NDNs...she's got a child to her current partner, her youngest is 3yo. But the older three DC have a different Dad. So she must have got with second partner whilst her third born was 4yo.....who's thinking of moving on when you've a child not even school aged...? She certainly moved on fast!🤔 they are 12, 10, 8 and 3.

you no longer "get given" social housing these days by having a baby, those days are long gone in the UK. Back in the 90s I had teen friends that purposely had babies as they wanted to leave home and knew it would guarantee them a council house. Not anymore which I think is a good thing as its one of the reasons the teen pregnancy rate has massively reduced in recent years.

Aren't they given housing benefits through as they need to live somewhere

Errrr, so what? Sounds like she had 3 children with one man then split up and waited 4 years before being with someone else?

Are some people even against women having a second relationship multiple years after their last if they have children? That's really regressive imo

Quite coincidentally, I was thinking as this thread progressed that I have greater issue with Saville's mate King Charlie and the cost to taxpayers for he and his spawn; particularly the costs associated with the Duchy of Cornwall and associated estates.

And I see Channel 4 has just dropped a documentary exposing the Royals' secret millions. I'll watch this with interest.

It's not always straightforward. I used to support people trying to access housing and benefits and it's really grim for many. The process can be long and arduous and elements do seem designed to encourage you to just go away. Unanswered phone calls, left on hold forever.

I'm sure for some they're in a relatively ok position but I saw mostly people holding on by the skin of their teeth.

Cos they don't know where to get condoms.

In that example of the 25 year old having 3 kids with different men, what if one of them had AIDS or Chlamydia? Does no one think about STDs anymore, it's like they don't exist.

@ffsfindmeausername yep I didn't word that well- you don't get given social housing I know, but it does push you higher up the list and are more likely to get it in a quicker timescale than someone with no children -

Yes that's what I thought or HPV virus

Even worse then if she just jumped straight into a relationship after splitting up with her first partner! So straight onto another baby .

She didn't wait five years to be with someone else did she though? It must have been less than that if including the pregnancy. Hardly any time at all, especially when factoring in older children to consider.

I can’t imagine any sensible, mature, person of normal intelligence meeting someone (of either sex) who had multiple children by multiple partners and seeing them as a viable potential partner. I’d agree with it mostly being a IQ issue.

Everyone I know would run a mile!