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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU with my wedding venue?

111 replies

ellie09 · 02/11/2024 20:10

I recently booked my wedding for July 2026 and let family know the venue and the date.

We ended up booking a lovely venue that I fell in love with, and it just so happens to be in DPs hometown (this was not the reason why we booked - we just like the venue and it was in our budget).

DPs hometown is about 1.5 hours away from my hometown.

My sister is not happy.

She doesn't drive, for context, though she is going to have to learn soon, as she is at uni and once she graduates she will need a car for her job (public transport isn't great here especially for unsocial hours)

She has been sending me messages, asking me how on earth I expect her to get there without a car and that "she's just going to have to find a way up on the train then".

I have told her that amongst everyone, I am sure we can work out a way to get everyone up, and it's a long time away and by then she will likely have passed her driving test, with her graduation etc. She asked me " well are you giving me the money for that then?! "

AIBU to think my sister is being selfish? It's my wedding and I feel like I should book a venue that I like. It's not as if I am expecting people to go abroad etc.

We have people flying from Canada etc to our wedding.. She is 1.5 hours away?!

OP posts:
TTPDTS · 02/11/2024 20:12

I think she's being a bit ridiculous to be annoyed by something as simple as that so far in advance!

It's 1.5 hours - it's also over 18 months away 😂 I'm sure she can figure out a train ride / car share / start walking now...

Whyherewego · 02/11/2024 20:12

Just tell her that you'll sort out a lift nearer the time. She's being a bit silly as who knows where things will be at by then

Spagettifunctional · 02/11/2024 20:14

I would totally ignore her. People make everything about themselves rather than being happy and excited for you

congratulations

itsjustbiology · 02/11/2024 20:14

She is being a dick..shut her up and tell her she doesn't have to attend if its too much for her.

mnahmnah · 02/11/2024 20:16

I’m sure she has travelled 1.5 hours or longer for something else in her life before?! If she could do it then, she can do it for her sister’s wedding 18 months away!

Insertarandomwordhere · 02/11/2024 20:17

Your sister is absolutely bonkers. Tell her she’s got 18 months to save up for train tickets and a taxi from the station, and to call it her wedding gift to you if necessary.

I have issues with people who get married a long haul flight away and expect people to travel, but an hour and a half is shorter than many people’s commute to work. Hand her a grip.

Gemstonebeach · 02/11/2024 20:17

How odd! Can she not just get a lift with your parents?

Stormyweatheroutthere · 02/11/2024 20:18

Just say you understand if she can't make it. And stop discussing it with her..

lightsandtunnels · 02/11/2024 20:20

Exciting for you OP! She's just jealous and putting herself at the centre of the world when this is actually your moment! Just tell her it'll all be sorted nearer the time and move on. You've got more important things to be sorting out 💍

HeddaGarbled · 02/11/2024 20:22

I disagree with PPs. People don’t want to have to drive home from weddings because it means they won’t be able to drink. The best venues have late night public transport or lots and lots of taxis/Ubers.

Guavafish1 · 02/11/2024 20:22

She being over the top! is she always a drama lama?

Discombobble · 02/11/2024 20:23

HeddaGarbled · 02/11/2024 20:22

I disagree with PPs. People don’t want to have to drive home from weddings because it means they won’t be able to drink. The best venues have late night public transport or lots and lots of taxis/Ubers.

What makes you think this doesn’t?

SleepingStandingUp · 02/11/2024 20:24

I assume she's not in the wedding party then as she's got to make her own way there? Could that be what she's really upset about?
Will you other immediate family be booking a room? Will she be able to afford one alone without having to save every penny to afford your wedding?

Changingplace · 02/11/2024 20:25

Is your sister the type of person who never leaves her home town?? It’s only 1.5hrs away, surely lots of people will be driving there, or is getting a train really such a difficult concept?

I’d ignore her, she sounds ridiculous.

HecatesBees · 02/11/2024 20:25

itsjustbiology · 02/11/2024 20:14

She is being a dick..shut her up and tell her she doesn't have to attend if its too much for her.

My thoughts exactly

Prometheus · 02/11/2024 20:26

Just ignore her. She’ll soon realise she’s being a twat.

Reserved101 · 02/11/2024 20:26

I'm staggered that anyone has voted YABU. 1.5 hrs is not a long journey and it's basically impossible to plan a wedding that's local to every guest. Your sister is being ridiculous.

bellabasset · 02/11/2024 20:26

If I were going to a wedding a journey away I would book a hotel nearby.

cigarettesNalcohol · 02/11/2024 20:27

Jesus she needs to get a grip. It's life.

Saschka · 02/11/2024 20:28

I’d tell her if she starts walking now, she’ll be there by 2026. But I’d have no patience with this whatsoever.

Commonsenseisnotsocommon · 02/11/2024 20:29

She sounds like a self centered brat and I don't think you should entertain her childish ramblings. Simply tell her that as she's a grown woman you'll expect her to sort out her own transport and ability to pay. Then focus on the planning and making the day about what you want.

dothehokeycokey · 02/11/2024 20:29

Christ op is she the entitled sister by any chance??

Tell her to behave herself and try not to make it about her

TitsInAbsentia · 02/11/2024 20:30

HeddaGarbled · 02/11/2024 20:22

I disagree with PPs. People don’t want to have to drive home from weddings because it means they won’t be able to drink. The best venues have late night public transport or lots and lots of taxis/Ubers.

Can't tell you the last wedding I went to that was close to home, all have needed overnight stays somewhere!

Original poster
ellie09 · 02/11/2024 20:33

Just as FYI to everyone, we have agreed to pay for our family's rooms that night also so they aren't out of pocket for rooms. We only expect our guests to make it to the venue for 3pm for the ceremony..

OP posts:
permanently · 02/11/2024 20:34

Totally ignore her negativity and be positive.
I know someone who was so determined to make her sibling's wedding about herself, she asked if her dog could be her plus one!