AIBU with my wedding venue?

[ellie09]

I recently booked my wedding for July 2026 and let family know the venue and the date.

We ended up booking a lovely venue that I fell in love with, and it just so happens to be in DPs hometown (this was not the reason why we booked - we just like the venue and it was in our budget).

DPs hometown is about 1.5 hours away from my hometown.

My sister is not happy.

She doesn't drive, for context, though she is going to have to learn soon, as she is at uni and once she graduates she will need a car for her job (public transport isn't great here especially for unsocial hours)

She has been sending me messages, asking me how on earth I expect her to get there without a car and that "she's just going to have to find a way up on the train then".

I have told her that amongst everyone, I am sure we can work out a way to get everyone up, and it's a long time away and by then she will likely have passed her driving test, with her graduation etc. She asked me " well are you giving me the money for that then?! "

AIBU to think my sister is being selfish? It's my wedding and I feel like I should book a venue that I like. It's not as if I am expecting people to go abroad etc.

We have people flying from Canada etc to our wedding.. She is 1.5 hours away?!

I just wouldn't entertain any further conversation about this. An adult woman should be able to make her way an hour and a half before 3pm unless there's some sort of exceptional circumstances that you haven't mentioned.

This is mad - when I was a uni student and we had family weddings I got to my parents and then went in the car? And she’s having her hotel room paid for?

Surely she can’t be having a drama about this.

Tell her if she sets off walking now she'll be there in plenty of time for a wedding in 2026!!!

or tell her to get a grip.

Either is perfectly acceptable 😂

Your sister needs to get a bloody grip.

She is being completely ridiculous- it's your wedding not hers, you choose the venue not her. People get married abroad! If it's such a big issue I'd be inclined to say I understand that she might not be able to make it due to the travel and leave it up to her to decide what she wants to do.

Oh God she's mad! We already lived 3 hrs away from our family and then booked a venue 1.5 hrs further away from that in the wrong direction because we didn't want a city wedding. If you're paying her room for the night surely she can either grab a lift from someone or get the train easily enough! She wants to thank her lucky stars you're not having a wedding abroad....
She sounds young though, and at that age is maybe just being very self centred and worried about the whole affair and the potential cost of outfits/travel etc. I'd ignore her, don't let her rain on your parade and keep planning what will be a gorgeous wedding!

My MIL did exactly the same, we were having a micro wedding and she lived approximately 20 mins away 🙄 some people just expect to always be accommodated or pandered to, nip it in the bud now and don’t enter into any more dialogue about it

In answer to some of the comments I've seen

No, my sister isn't married, she has a partner she has been with for 2 years.

Our mum and sister drives. So does my step dad. I was also under the assumption that she was going to learn to drive soon, as she has started a midwifery course and her placements etc will be in hospitals all over the place, starting at times where buses/trains aren't available.

At the moment, my mum is chauffering her around to her placement at 5:30am

Not once has sister congratulated me either during all this, it's all been about her

She's being very, very weird, over the top, and self-involved. Ignore her. 1.5 hours is a daily commute for some people! She has over a year to formulate a plan as to how she'll make this epic 90 minute journey.

Anyway, if she's anything like me and my friends, she'll spend the 10 years after she graduates trekking to weddings across the country every other weekend.

Congratulations!

She sounds like she's a petulant little child, main character syndrome, type of person.

She has 21 months to figure out how to travel 90 mins.

Ignore her and don't let her take away from your happiness.

I feel sorry for your mum playing taxi due your sister's selfishness and inability to grow up.

Your sister sounds immature and selfish.

I recently booked my wedding

“We recently booked our wedding”, surely?

Your sister sounds like she’s a bit jealous and wants to turn your happy news to all about her.
Personally I wouldn’t sink to the same level, I l would leave it as it is and if she starts again then repeat that it’s still over a year away so you can worry about transport much closer to the time!

She's the only one on the thread, her fiancé isn't posting with her, so perfectly acceptable to write "I" and "my". Just as I say "my children", when my husband isn't with me.

Your sister is being ridiculous and a total brat! It’s absolutely obvious that she will end up getting a lift from your mum so what on earth is she whinging about? Tell her to shut up or not bother coming!

I'm guessing she's the youngest sibling?

I wouldn't pander to the little princess. Just send her her invitation and block out all of her noise.

By the way, she doesn't have a "partner", she has a boyfriend or girlfriend.

She's being a silly twat and

Ffs sorry.

She's being a silly twat and I'd tell her that.

Your sister is loopy!!

I got married about 8 hour drive from home. No-one complained! We supported everyone to get there! All was fine.

Your sister should maybe read this thread! (and chill a bit! Buy her some wine!)

My sister shouted at me for booking my wedding at the start of the summer holidays because she wanted to go away on a cheap holiday and delaying it till after would cost her over £1k+ extra. I get that's shit but my DH was a teacher and obviously we wanted to go on honeymoon after we got married. Absolutely bonkers selfishness on her part. So I'm not surprised by your sister and YANBU.

Is your sister always this self-centred?

Ignore. She can sort it herself. Or not come to the wedding.

Congratulations!

She sounds like quite the drama llama. I'd try to ignore her.

She's being completely ridiculous and negative, as you know and she well knows too.

But she sounds a bit overwhelmed with whatever is going on in her life (finals looming? graduating? growing up? things changing too fast?) Just say, it's not like her, is she OK? It's not about taking the train, is it?

Your sister is being totally selfish and out of order. Who does she think she is, barking orders like you like that about your own wedding?!

She needs to grow up. She has lots of time to save her own pennies or even learn to drive if she feels up to it. I’m a non driver myself and face similar issues at times, but it’s my own problem and I find a workaround myself.