AIBU with my wedding venue?

[ellie09]

I recently booked my wedding for July 2026 and let family know the venue and the date.

We ended up booking a lovely venue that I fell in love with, and it just so happens to be in DPs hometown (this was not the reason why we booked - we just like the venue and it was in our budget).

DPs hometown is about 1.5 hours away from my hometown.

My sister is not happy.

She doesn't drive, for context, though she is going to have to learn soon, as she is at uni and once she graduates she will need a car for her job (public transport isn't great here especially for unsocial hours)

She has been sending me messages, asking me how on earth I expect her to get there without a car and that "she's just going to have to find a way up on the train then".

I have told her that amongst everyone, I am sure we can work out a way to get everyone up, and it's a long time away and by then she will likely have passed her driving test, with her graduation etc. She asked me " well are you giving me the money for that then?! "

AIBU to think my sister is being selfish? It's my wedding and I feel like I should book a venue that I like. It's not as if I am expecting people to go abroad etc.

We have people flying from Canada etc to our wedding.. She is 1.5 hours away?!

The only response at all to that nonsense worth your time or energy would just be 🤣

As a 16/17 year old, I was catching trains all over the country to visit universities (and have a fun day out with your mates). This was in the days prior to parents coming with you.

How is she going to cope with life?

I’d probably say ‘Don’t come then!’ She sounds very immature.

Same - we have a couple flying from Canada which is over 3,000 miles away. They need to get 2 flights and a ferry, plus the 1.5 hour drive. And they're only friends

She’s being ridiculous.

I’m guessing this is not the first time she’s made something all about her and it definitely won’t be the last time she causes drama around your wedding.

When friends of mine got married, all their family and friends were spread all around the country, so no matter where they picked, someone would have to travel.

In the end, they got a bit crazy about it, plotted the locations of everyone they really wanted to be there on a map and picked a spot on the map that was central to all of them. No favouritism of one person's home town over another and, in the end, was nowhere near when anyone lived!

There are always people that will have to travel for the wedding, presumably including you two as the bride and groom! I'm not sure why your sister seems to think she's the most important person there! Does your STBDH have a non-driving relative that would have to travel similarly if the tables were turned? Use them as an example.

As PP have said, she's being rather ridiculous. If there are others travelling from where your sister lives, I'm sure they'd be happy to give her a lift (just don't tell them this story, as they might otherwise not be so keen!)

1.5 hour is not far! She is presumably young and healthy, she is being ridiculous. If she can’t get a lift, worst case is train to nearest station and taxi. Does she never go anywhere? I used to live traveling places by train when I was younger!

We spent a lot of money on our wedding because a) we could afford it and b) we wanted to acknowledge the effort people were making to attend. Everything that cost a lot was things to make the attendees’ time more enjoyable. My husband’s family had to travel 5 hours and stay overnight so we paid for their hotel room for one night (some then booked the night before with the money they had budgeted), we paid for extra appetisers during the cocktail hour as we knew people would be hungry after travelling before the wedding breakfast and evening buffet for example. We didn’t want people to give up a day or two of their busy lives, travel so far, spend money on an outfit and a gift without us putting on something special for them.

@QuizNight Not sure what the opposite of a bridezillanis, but you’re one of them. A hostess?

Ignore her and do not have her for bridesmaid if you can avoid it.
She isn't happy for you, is a PITA, and will spoil things.
Think carefully about the bridesmaid question.

Eh? Your sister is being very odd!

For my wedding, my sister travelled to the city where I live. Because, you know, I was getting married and I'm her sister! When she gets married I'll travel to the city where she lives because... same. Same for cousins, friends, etc.

Has she lived a very sheltered life up until now/never left your hometown?