AIBU with my wedding venue?

[ellie09]

I recently booked my wedding for July 2026 and let family know the venue and the date.

We ended up booking a lovely venue that I fell in love with, and it just so happens to be in DPs hometown (this was not the reason why we booked - we just like the venue and it was in our budget).

DPs hometown is about 1.5 hours away from my hometown.

My sister is not happy.

She doesn't drive, for context, though she is going to have to learn soon, as she is at uni and once she graduates she will need a car for her job (public transport isn't great here especially for unsocial hours)

She has been sending me messages, asking me how on earth I expect her to get there without a car and that "she's just going to have to find a way up on the train then".

I have told her that amongst everyone, I am sure we can work out a way to get everyone up, and it's a long time away and by then she will likely have passed her driving test, with her graduation etc. She asked me " well are you giving me the money for that then?! "

AIBU to think my sister is being selfish? It's my wedding and I feel like I should book a venue that I like. It's not as if I am expecting people to go abroad etc.

We have people flying from Canada etc to our wedding.. She is 1.5 hours away?!

Our BIL displayed similar behaviour and the only way we got him to our wedding was by paying for a taxi there and back. It was an hour drive each way so as you can imagine wasn't cheap but it would've been upsetting for a couple of people if he wasn't there so we just did it to avoid drama. He didn't even get us a card!

We recently flew 19 hours with a toddler for a wedding
1.5 hour drive seems bliss 😂
She’s being a drama queen, she’s related to the bride and gets her room paid for. It’s not like she doesn’t have options from the family to get there

Your sister’s behaviour is churlish. She’s got almost two years to decide how she’ll get to the wedding venue. Who knows where she’ll be living or what she’ll be doing by then. If she has overnight accommodation, I’m sure someone can give her a lift there and back the next day if she’s unable to drive herself.

I don’t have a car and go everywhere on public transport, including cab for the last stretch, if necessary in remoter places. Just takes some planning. Have been to many places with three small kids in tow. She’ll manage.

Try not to let her behaviour upset you. It’s not worth it. Put it down to immaturity.

She is being VU!
It's your wedding.
Enjoy it!

She sounds jealous 🤗

Thanks all, I'm just going to ignore for now and if it comes up again, politely let her know that it's an invite, and she's more than welcome to politely decline if it is too much hassle

Ridiculous objection. Can she not stay local to the wedding the night before if the journey is complicated? From what you've said, it sounds like she will have graduated by then, so presumably will be working and able to afford a night in a local hotel or B&B.

Just tell her to start walking now.

@reserved101 Love your Zoom wedding solution 🤣

Just say you will make sure she has a lift closer to the time. Ask her why this is such a big problem for her. I wonder if she's anxious about driving or something. I think her reaction is unreasonable but I think you should be curious about what's behind it x

She's jealous

Here's another, different voice: I struggle to understand why people put so much store and spend so much money on getting married. If it's the rellies' & friends' get-together that's important, then just have a picnic in a field or a catered night in a restaurant or pub. If it's about starring in your own soap-opera, then I have a total failure of understanding - because the payoff doesn't adequately relate to the bill (which normally seems to be HUGE).
The money can be put to so much better use, can't it?
My wedding (after 37yrs together) cost, I seem to remember, £64.

Then we just went to lunch round the corner at Cafe Rouge.

Coming out of the Registry Office, my DH remarked to me: "I'd better drive, you've had a shock".

Just reassure her you will sort out transport for her nearer the time (and make sure you do it.)
Of course if shes passed her test by then all well and good but sounds like shes a bit anxious that she wont be able to attend, although surely she can travel with your parents? Rude of her not to offer congratulations but she is still young so perhaps self absorbed and stressed about final exams and feeling pressure to learn to drive for her midwifery.

Just reassure her you will sort out transport for her nearer the time (and make sure you do

Why on earth should the OP take responsibility for this? She’s a grown woman, not a chance.

She sounds very immature.

Throw the guilt back on her. “Oh my, I thought you loved me enough to do this small thing for me on my wedding day” etc. Selfish mare!

You don’t need a late night transport if you’re staying over! I don’t think the OP is suggesting that she go home after the wedding!

No, the best venues are the ones the Bride & Groom like.

of course most prople want to drink, so they arrange a lift with a driver, book a taxi, book a hotel, same with any event.

@ellie09

congratulations!!

just tell her to grow up. She can book an onsite room or other hotel room. Or taxi/train or you'll help her get a lift.

It' s YOUR wedding, if that's too much hassle for her, she can stop home.

id suggest you don't give her a role at the wedding or she'll be a proper PITA.

it’s your wedding, and she’s turned into a sister- zilla!

She is just being a pita. Tell her there is loads of time to sort a ride with someone and to stop bitching or she wont get an invite

Children manage to get the train so there is no reason why your grown up sister can't. My son gets the train to visit his dad sometimes. He is 15 and it's an hour and ten minutes. It's never ever been an issue.

She could Uber to train station then get the train. If she has very little money then try and lift share with someone and give them petrol money. I think it's a non issue and she is being ridiculous.

She's got over 20 months to figure it out.

If you booked it where your side ofnthe family live then it wouldn't suit your husband to he's family. One thing you're going to learn planning a wedding is you'll never please everyone and believe me, this will be the first of many problems.
It's your day so have it where you want it. Surely there's a hotel nearby that your sister can stay in or family can stay in .....they've 2 years to save!

i would just point out, in your reply, people are invited to weddings because the couple would like to attend, and have them help celebrate their special day. No guest and their financial situation nor how they will get to and from the wedding is your concern. Ultimately it is up to the guest to accept or turn down the invite regardless their relationship with the bride and groom. You would love it if she can come but there will be no hard feelings should she not be able to.

She sounds incredibly self entitled, I would send her message like above and then ignore any further communication about it, or just keep replying with the same message 🙈🤣

congratulations btw xx

She's an adult, I'm sure she can find her way on a train or get a lift with someone. What a lot of drama over a 1.5 hour journey. If she finds it so difficult then she can always stay home. My young friend managed to fly back from the other side of the world for my wedding (which I certainly didn't expect her to do, but she wanted to).