It was my birthday yesterday, MIL bought me Christmas themed stuff

[HagsRule]

I feel ungrateful even creating this thread, but it has been bugging me all day. AIBU to feel this way? Is this weird?

Basically, it was my birthday yesterday and MIL came over today with presents for me. Over the past 5 or 6 years I've received at least one Christmas themed present for my birthday from MIL which I've thought was odd since it is almost 2 months before Christmas and I'm not really a big Christmas fan anyway.

After she did it again last year on my birthday I maybe didn't receive the Christmas themed plates and glasses as enthusiastically as she'd expected. Just to clarify I always say thank you and haven't said anything as I don't want to upset anybody and come across as ungrateful. Even posting this I feel guilty! But anyway, maybe last year my face slipped or something and I gave myself away because this year for my birthday every single present was Christmas themed and my BIL (her other son) also gave me entirely Christmas themed presents bar one book. I suspect BIL got help from his mum to buy his presents as when he handed the parcel to me he checked with his mum first to make sure that was the right gift to give me (he's almost 40 fyi).

Is she trolling me now? She must have picked up on me feeling a bit irked by it last year so she's ramped it up this year. My DH is also annoyed on my behalf and at lunch today said something about Christmas not even being on our radar until December (which to be fair is true). She looked annoyed that he said this.

Should I just suck this weird gift thing up forever more? I mean, it's just so random and I think I'd understand more if she bought me Halloween themed tat since that's the day before my birthday, but Christmas stuff? It makes even less sense.

A themed advent is a great idea. I’d love to receive an expensive advent.

I feel like you need to say “why are you buying me Christmas stuff for my birthday? I feel like I’m missing something and I really want to be in on it?”.

But people are quick to call her mil names and make nasty comments about her character. It’s just baffling when the complaints are that she bought too many gifts for her grandchild and not the right gifts for dil. I think it’s shameful to be so greedy is all. Embarrassing but also really sad that gift giving is so transactional.

Please promise to gift her an Easter bunny next year 🤣

It is greedy and not at all gracious.

Graciousness is a concept that has gone out of fashion. I’m mid forties but remember growing up it was just more of a thing. These days it’s seen as being wet or pathetically unassertive, but personally I think the world was a nicer place when people had some sort of concept of how to respond graciously to things.

I get the impression that if the OP’s MIL bought her a Cartier watch for her birthday she’d find something to dislike about it.

That’s quite a decent present and has to be bought pre Christmas?

This farting reindeer... where could one get such a gem?

asking for a friend 😀

You are very greedy. Your MIL doesn't have to get you any present at all. Grow up.

Be better if she did instead of giving OP Christmas presents for her birthday.

Many rather have no gift than a crap one that shows you don’t know the receiver at all.

Off topic - but do mother in laws by daughter in laws birthday gifts? Mine never has.

I’d love this as a birthday present! And at least you’re getting the Xmas stuff well in time for Christmas, not after, and it’s not sale stuff… just say thank you and be appreciative, sell them on if you really don’t want them! Pre Christmas is perfect time!

@Talapia maybe I'm the odd one here (and apparently greedy by Mumsnet standards) but I have a permanent list (in my head) of things I would love to get. Not big things - but books for example. A £5 paperback.
If someone is going to go to the effort of buying me a gift why is it odd (or ungrateful) to think all they need to do is ask "what do you want for your birthday?" and I can say "oooh I would really like to read the latest Sophie Kinsella paperback please".
5 quid on a paperback I actually would like vs a bunch of Christmas things (probably costing more than a fiver) that I don't want.
Waste of their money and a waste of their time buying it.
But by Mumsnet standards asking for a paperback is "grabby" and I should be grateful for a bunch of stuff I don't really want or need.
I find that odd to be honest.

@HagsRule I'd regift her all the tat for her next birthday. I suffer from a xmas week birthday and nobody wants xmas tat for their birthday even if it's on the 25th

I did get a plastic reindeer that shat chocolate raisins in my stocking as a child. Santa was a filthy old git.

This is because you haven’t learned to be gracious and appreciative. You have the mindset that you should receive what you want.

“I’d regift her all the tat for her next birthday.”

What a lovely idea. 🙄

Custom made by hiding a fart ninja behind a reindeer plush, though I think I'm on to something quite special. Here's the ninja - top stockling filler (reindeer not included)
https://www.amazon.co.uk/stores/page/A999B2FB-EFD9-4886-8088-7AB0E7EBD5DB

How is it greedy to ask that she bought less for the grandchild? Confused

She’s done some Christmas shopping for you. Regift that stuff for Christmas and buy yourself a birthday present.

My birthday is very early December, and for about the last 15 years she was alive she often gave me Christmassy type presents, and whatever she gave me, and my daughter whose birthday is a couple of days after me, was wrapped in Christmas paper, often paper thst she had saved and recycled from presents I had given her in previous years. I never considered moaning that she had given me Christmassy things - I was just grateful that she had gone out and bought things thst she thought I would like.

What do you want to get out of this, OP? So she gives you crap gifts? So what? You think she’s a bit if a narc, so she’s never going to change and trying to make her change will end really, really badly.

You seem to feel you have a reasonable relationship with her otherwise so just let it lie.

I would just ask her not to get you anything. I hate receiving gifts I have no use for so asked quite a few people - PiLs included - to just donate the money to charity. Otherwise hate the time, energy and waste of a useless gift. And I'm not ungrateful at all.

This!

Or whatever festival is celebrated closest to her birthday - buy her that. If it's left over Mother's Day stuff, even better. I would try to find the most outlandish, unrelated to her birthday kind of tat out there because she clearly has zero imagination on what to get you, you return the sentiment in kind.

Belated happy birthday by the way. 💐

Sorry I don't have time to read the whole thread
But wanted to add another perspective. My DD has a birthday around now and loves Christmas themed gifts - beauty advent, Christmas pjs, Christmas chocs etc- she wants to enjoy them between now and Christmas, not get them on Christmas day

My BFF has a birthday this time of year and I often get Christmas themed gifts, and had no idea this could be perceived as anything negative.

I absolutely love my DD and BFF and love getting them festive things!
I had no idea anyone would perceive this as a slight!