It was my birthday yesterday, MIL bought me Christmas themed stuff

[HagsRule]

I feel ungrateful even creating this thread, but it has been bugging me all day. AIBU to feel this way? Is this weird?

Basically, it was my birthday yesterday and MIL came over today with presents for me. Over the past 5 or 6 years I've received at least one Christmas themed present for my birthday from MIL which I've thought was odd since it is almost 2 months before Christmas and I'm not really a big Christmas fan anyway.

After she did it again last year on my birthday I maybe didn't receive the Christmas themed plates and glasses as enthusiastically as she'd expected. Just to clarify I always say thank you and haven't said anything as I don't want to upset anybody and come across as ungrateful. Even posting this I feel guilty! But anyway, maybe last year my face slipped or something and I gave myself away because this year for my birthday every single present was Christmas themed and my BIL (her other son) also gave me entirely Christmas themed presents bar one book. I suspect BIL got help from his mum to buy his presents as when he handed the parcel to me he checked with his mum first to make sure that was the right gift to give me (he's almost 40 fyi).

Is she trolling me now? She must have picked up on me feeling a bit irked by it last year so she's ramped it up this year. My DH is also annoyed on my behalf and at lunch today said something about Christmas not even being on our radar until December (which to be fair is true). She looked annoyed that he said this.

Should I just suck this weird gift thing up forever more? I mean, it's just so random and I think I'd understand more if she bought me Halloween themed tat since that's the day before my birthday, but Christmas stuff? It makes even less sense.

I really dislike having too much stuff too OP, it all just mounts up . I think I wouldn’t bother with the loft. I’d just take it to the charity shop so someone else benefits from it.

Hahaha, well the thread you started after a couple of wines has got lots of people thinking. After your last post, it's clear the "no presents" thing isn't going to work. You don't want to antagonise your MIL (and I agree with your thoughts there). I think requesting the Boots calendar, saying "I really loved that present" would be a good idea. The rest of the tat I'd take out your loft and donate. There's bound to be a charity around that provides Xmas lunches for disadvantaged people who could use that Xmas themed stuff you don't want.

A. Buying household items for someone’s birthday is pretty shitty. Unless you’d be utterly thrilled with a Henry hoover for yours.

B. The OP doesn’t like Xmas. Buying her Xmas tat for her birthday is highly unlikely to change that.

C. It’s just fucking rude. If someone says they don’t like smoking, you don’t buy them 40 Benson and Hedges.

D. It’s an absolute waste of money.

My MIL is lovely and has given me some fantastic gifts over the years, but one Christmas she gave me a box of baubles, baby pink & baby blue glass baubles that we think might have had ‘baby’s first Christmas’ ribbons on but they had been removed. Extremely odd. My DH was mortified, but we chose to not even acknowledge it and thank god she didn’t ask if I liked my present!

Sounds like something my mil would do. I've only been married 3 months so it's all quite new to me, but i feel seen when you describe her! Lol Drama queen, can't be criticised, passive aggressive and somewhat narcissistic... If she's doing it to get at you then I think not reacting is the best medicine. Sell it all on vinted and don't put much effort into her gifts.

Bday in march-give her an Easter basket as a gift.

This.

or maybe buy her a turkey in October for Thanksgiving.

@Candymay isn't obtuse. It's very easy to reply to wrong post/misinterpret something etc. @Candymay seems a nice person who has the right priorities, someone I'd like to have as a friend.

Not sure where OP is based but I am UK and we don't do "Thanksgiving". I think that's an American thing

Tea towels are the worst gift. No one enjoys a tea towel. They are not a treat. And I bet no man ever gets gifted one!

Each to their own. I like being given baubles for the tree. I remember who gave me each one, and each tells a story. Not acknowledging the gift seems weird! Perhaps there's a back story here that's making the present too offensive even to say thanks for it?

Spices is actually a nice gift idea.

Haha I have got to an age were naice quality tea towels would be gratefully received. I’d rather have something useful than tat. Just not xmas tea towels 😅

I'm sorry she's deliberately minimising your wants and feelings. She clearly thinks her feelings about Christmas matter more and is forcing the Christmas gifts on you on purpose.

People like that are super annoying in real life, and there are a lot of them who comment on here sadly.

I tend to avoid anyone who tries to force me to do, appreciate or be interested in anything when I've explained that I'm not.

But she doesn't have to give any gift at all. It is just an extra present, in the scheme of things. Maybe try not to think about it, or worry about it and whatever she gives just reframe it as a little something extra. You certainly don't have to pay much attention to what you're getting her either, just a token.

Whether you're really into Christmas or not, it's just lazy. She has given no thought to what you like/want, and is just buying you tat which happens to be Christmas themed. So tat, without having to think about what design, colours etc. you would prefer.

I'm with you. I hunt down quality vintage tea towels in charity shops that I expect some elderly lady has had unused in a drawer for many moons and kept "for good" but never used before her house was cleared by her family. They are usually £1 and better quality than modern ones. A lot of them are themed - Yorkshire recipes, Shamrocks, Tetley teabags, Christmas trees. I don't care what is on them. I only want to bring them into use. I think about the elderly ladies and hope they would approve that someone is actually getting good use out of their tea towels. Many times, when grandchildren here, I tie one of these tea towels round them (like a bib) to protect their clothes. My grandchildren actually now ask for a tea towel on if they're getting a meal here now.

Well you need to have it by the 1st if it’s an advent calendar.

Thank you

@Candymay I would love to know the thinking behind people who give a gift of something like the flip flops. It really does baffle me what goes through their heads.
It's one of life's mysteries 🙂

@HagsRule MIL is an emotionally abusive narcissist & will NEVER change. Set your boundaries & going forwards ignore her crocodile tears & if she can’t respect your wishes she no-longer buys you gifts.
In all honesty I’d go as far as considering going no contact so she can see you do not need her or her thoughtless ‘gifts’ that you are expected to be ‘grateful’ for!

Well I think if you have a dil who is obnoxious and grasping and as unappreciative as a few people on here then the flip flops would be just the ticket. Merry Christmas and a happy birthday all in one.

@Candymay errr.....ok.
Thankfully in my family we all like each other so don't have to deal with any of these weird power trips.

Donate it. She’s being ridiculous. She’s supposed to buy things you like, not things she likes.

.