It was my birthday yesterday, MIL bought me Christmas themed stuff

[HagsRule]

I feel ungrateful even creating this thread, but it has been bugging me all day. AIBU to feel this way? Is this weird?

Basically, it was my birthday yesterday and MIL came over today with presents for me. Over the past 5 or 6 years I've received at least one Christmas themed present for my birthday from MIL which I've thought was odd since it is almost 2 months before Christmas and I'm not really a big Christmas fan anyway.

After she did it again last year on my birthday I maybe didn't receive the Christmas themed plates and glasses as enthusiastically as she'd expected. Just to clarify I always say thank you and haven't said anything as I don't want to upset anybody and come across as ungrateful. Even posting this I feel guilty! But anyway, maybe last year my face slipped or something and I gave myself away because this year for my birthday every single present was Christmas themed and my BIL (her other son) also gave me entirely Christmas themed presents bar one book. I suspect BIL got help from his mum to buy his presents as when he handed the parcel to me he checked with his mum first to make sure that was the right gift to give me (he's almost 40 fyi).

Is she trolling me now? She must have picked up on me feeling a bit irked by it last year so she's ramped it up this year. My DH is also annoyed on my behalf and at lunch today said something about Christmas not even being on our radar until December (which to be fair is true). She looked annoyed that he said this.

Should I just suck this weird gift thing up forever more? I mean, it's just so random and I think I'd understand more if she bought me Halloween themed tat since that's the day before my birthday, but Christmas stuff? It makes even less sense.

I think this is what it comes down to op.

Shes either not caring/trying to annoy you, or trying to give you something nice. It’s one or the other really.

If the former, why let her feel it’s working? If the latter, why be rude?

Do you mean the sunglasses gift from the magazine? Because yes absolutely, that is such a lovely gesture. Absolutely beautiful

that reminds me of a gift given to my sister at a birthday party. One of her friends was from a family that didn’t have birthday parties and didn’t normally attend them either. I remember how thrilled his big sister was when I suggested she come too. They didn’t have spare money for gifts but with the few pennies they put together they went to a vending machine and got a plastic toy in a kinder egg type plastic. This was in the 70s where these machines were around a lot.

anyway, this was absolutely the best gift my sister received because it was such a touching gesture. Also because my sister was truly thrilled as we were never allowed money for those machines. So now 50 years later she still remembers it as one of the best gifts she’s ever received.

the story of the sunglasses on the magazine cover reminded me of this. It’s a beautiful and thoughtful gift. I’d rather that than any gift chosen from a list (which I would never provide to anyone).

is my attitude to being grateful really so extraordinary?

My sister's birthday is in November & I always get her the Christmas beauty box from M&S 😅

@another79 yes but does your sister like receiving it and will she use it?
Because that makes a big difference.

I said to my mil (who is lovely btw) not to get me anything for my birthday or Christmas as I have so much stuff, no where to put it, waste of money etc and I really do not need anything but if she really wanted to get me something then an m&S voucher would be lovely. I absolute hate waste. Your mil could also donate to charity in your name or something too. Next year your husband needs to say to you mil to get you a voucher as even though you love her gifts your cupboards are full to bursting so something like that. Alternatively you could sell it all on vinted. 😂

I can only perceive being so annoyed about this if you’re really skint and look forward to the gifts, like it’s super important to you as you can’t buy anything for yourself. Past that if it’s just gifts for the gesture, use them, give them to charity, it’s the thought that counts.

Except if you care about the environment and would rather you weren't the recipient of a load of unwanted tat

☃on the plus side. you'd be even more justified if your birthday was January/Feb and it was either recycled Christmas tat, or the rubbish that was left over and heavily discounted.

☃on the plus side. you'd be even more justified if your birthday was January/Feb and it was either recycled Christmas tat, or the rubbish that was left over and heavily discounted.

My birthday is just before Valentine’s Day and my DH often buys me one combo present.

Yes that’s how I feel too. It would only matter if you were absolutely relying on someone buying you a gift and you couldn’t manage without

Does it matter?
Christmas stuff is in the shops atm.
I wouldn't overthink it, just be grateful she got you something.

Tell her what you'd like well in advance. She gets you something, which is nice. Maybe she'd love Christmas-themed stuff herself if her birthday was closer to Christmas. But if you don't tell her what you want, how can she possibly know?

Could it be she thought you liked it last year so she’s gone all out with the theme this year?

I’ve only got to mention something once in front of my mum even in passing and that’s then the theme for everything 🤦🏼‍♀️😂

It’s been there since August……..

So you didn’t read my initial post that I was asking for your opinion on?? No sunglasses mentioned. Foam flip flops with magazine name on and other such crap….. you’re very obtuse.

The tat has been manufactured now. It’s a reach to say it matters who buys it. Op can gift it on or donate.

Give it all to a charity shop. If 'where it is' ever comes up, you can say it went to a good home.

Or to look at it another way @Candymay , you’re saying that you would think it thoughtful to give somebody (as a birthday gift, not as a ‘would you like this I don’t use it?’) something you’ve had hanging around the house for 10 years, and you’d expect them to be grateful?

It's only manufactured because people buy it, and, if demand for the tat reduced, production of it would reduce. At least, that's what I think. I am not saying my opinion is the same as other people's

I bought my DF a Christmas jumper for his July birthday. I was at the North Yorkshire Moors railway, he is a massive steam railway lover and they had some lovely NYMR Christmas jumpers. I debated with the cashier whether it should be a birthday or Christmas gift and decided birthday would be better as it would mean he could wear it in the run-up to Christmas. I gave it to him for his birthday and he loved it 🙂

🤣🤣🤣

That would show her that she annoyed you though...she can buy you what she wants.

what about? Put it in the bin and forget about it? Way less dramatic.And...don’t buy her something at all for her. It is way less passive aggressive and straight to the point. It isn’t like she can ask you where her gifts are?

Just end her show, do NOT enter her loop. No way you can control that. Stay away.

Good luck 🌺

Why not get her ONLY Easter tat for her birthday, and say “ I figured you would appreciate this since you always get me Christmas gifts two months before the actual holiday”

My ex sister in law , got me an old brick for Xmas once!! Possibly for a door stop
ex for a reason!!
be grateful and regift or donate,
laugh and let it wash over you

Wrap them all up and give them back as Christmas presents to them. Gives them a not so subtle hint and saves you money at Christmas

Every year my MIL and SIL buy me xmas themed crap for xmas

Great gifts! I get to wait 12 months before i can use them 🤣