It was my birthday yesterday, MIL bought me Christmas themed stuff

[HagsRule]

I feel ungrateful even creating this thread, but it has been bugging me all day. AIBU to feel this way? Is this weird?

Basically, it was my birthday yesterday and MIL came over today with presents for me. Over the past 5 or 6 years I've received at least one Christmas themed present for my birthday from MIL which I've thought was odd since it is almost 2 months before Christmas and I'm not really a big Christmas fan anyway.

After she did it again last year on my birthday I maybe didn't receive the Christmas themed plates and glasses as enthusiastically as she'd expected. Just to clarify I always say thank you and haven't said anything as I don't want to upset anybody and come across as ungrateful. Even posting this I feel guilty! But anyway, maybe last year my face slipped or something and I gave myself away because this year for my birthday every single present was Christmas themed and my BIL (her other son) also gave me entirely Christmas themed presents bar one book. I suspect BIL got help from his mum to buy his presents as when he handed the parcel to me he checked with his mum first to make sure that was the right gift to give me (he's almost 40 fyi).

Is she trolling me now? She must have picked up on me feeling a bit irked by it last year so she's ramped it up this year. My DH is also annoyed on my behalf and at lunch today said something about Christmas not even being on our radar until December (which to be fair is true). She looked annoyed that he said this.

Should I just suck this weird gift thing up forever more? I mean, it's just so random and I think I'd understand more if she bought me Halloween themed tat since that's the day before my birthday, but Christmas stuff? It makes even less sense.

She likes Molton Brown?

Get her the Molton Brown advent calendar for her birthday in March. Can probably pick it up at a discount any day now...

That would be a very nice gift! I think you’re meaning this as a passive aggressive move but I don’t think there’s anything bad about this at all

It’s definitely not normal of her, but I think your best approach is just to find the humour in it and shrug it off. She’s clearly a bit odd and it doesn’t really matter what she gets you, as long as your DH and other people get you nice stuff. Not worth causing a scene over.

@Candymay my scenarios might be over the top (I admit they are 😂) but reading about some of the budgets people have for Christmas (ie spending thousands) there must be an awful lot of waste of money being spent on very expensive things for.....what? Gifts that will never be used? So wasteful and pointless.
And yes - a tea towel with a recipe printed on was definitely an insulting and a rude "gift".

Do you host Christmas OP? If so is she trying to ensure that you have all the tat to host a Christmas she would like?
it’s very strange. I would leave all her gifts for your DH to sort in future if he doesn’t already.

I’m not still seething. It’s been over 20 years. 😂

Their treatment of DD is when I closed the door to them completely. It’s zero loss to either of us.

The flight lesson gift I just received from DH for my birthday isn’t transferable because it’s direct with the flight school and it’s all they do. The balloon flight I bought DH a couple of years back was similar I think. There were definitely restrictions that would have meant losing money/costing more to do something different with it.

You think everything deserves gratitude, I disagree. I’d rather receive nothing than someone waste money on something I won’t use.

@ThatIsNotMyNameSoWhyAreYouCallingMeThat the balloon ride thing was a random idea that popped into my head 😂
Did your husband actually do it?

How infuriating

My 10th birthday was around the time Prince Charles married Lady Diana. I had less than zero interest in it, but every present I received was themed in some way - jigsaw, mug, pillowcase, pen, tin of toffees. Worst birthday ever, and even worse as a child really, as you have no money of your own. We only got presents for our birthdays or Christmas, so it really was shit

Im really sorry about your rubbish presents, but they’ll raise a bit of money in the charity shop, and at least you don’t have to spend time worrying about what to buy her - latest top selling cookery book, every damn time. Lynx for the brother in law

Those are all things I would be happy to use in the run-up to Christmas. I would think this was odd but in a funny/bemused kind of way, not offensive.

It would be lovely, and at the same time, make a bit of a point. Without unkindness, because who can complain about Molton Brown?

We all did!

I’d really quite like that. I wouldn’t ask for it, but as unsolicited ( or undirected) gifts go, I think I’d rather enjoy using it.

I don't think Christmas tat would even be desired by a charity shop. There are a great many in my area. They would all tell you to sod off if you tried to dump cheap novelty goods on them. They've only got so much space for inventory. It's bin fodder, nothing more.

A Boots beauty adventure calendar sounds like an expensive present, so not really “Christmas tat”. October is early for an advent calendar, yes, but I don’t think it’s a bad present really.

@ThatIsNotMyNameSoWhyAreYouCallingMeThat wow ! That's awesome.
Is that over Bristol? I used to go to the Bristol Balloon Festival as a child (in the 80s). Never up in a balloon though....I'm too wimpy for that.

Is she just one of these people who are massively into Christmas? Maybe the moment Halloween is done, the Christmas floodgates open for her and you are first on her list for Christmas cheer with a birthday in her mind in the Christmas period. I've always been very bemused about people thinking about Christmas before Dec 1st, but I'm relenting and happy to start embracing it earlier and earlier. It is still a bit early for me, but I've seen a few lights on around us already. It sounds like it is coming from a good place if an overly Christmassy place. xxx

It certainly is. It was lovely.

.

I think the beauty advent calendar is fine I’d be happy with that as you get to use it in under a month. But the other stuff this year just sounds like your Christmas presents, does she also give you Christmas themed stuff at Christmas or other things?

My mum’s birthday is mid-Oct. I usually buy her half a dozen gifts - usually one thing she has asked for, and the rest surprises. At least one is normally a Christmas decoration - eg a pretty bauble. It never occurred to me that this was wrong??

I am off to bed now thanks all but I feel I need to keep hammering this point to those not reading my updated posts. I absolutely loved the boots advent calendar the year I got it for my birthday and I very much appreciated it and thanked MIL at the time for that generous gift and got good use of it.

This year it hasn't been like that and it is everything themed.

Yes she also gives me Christmas themed presents at Christmas. The Christmas tea towels I got today are an addition to other Christmas tea towels I got on Christmas day last year. I also already have a set of 8 Christmas coasters and Christmas place mats she got me three Christmases ago and now I have been given 4 more Christmas coasters.

Anyway like I said again and again I loved the boots beauty calender I was v enthusiastic about it this may or may not have inadvertently caused her to ramp up the Christmas gifting on my birthday, maybe not, I don't know. She does definitely know I am not that into Christmas though. So it could be just constant attempts to convert me! 😄

Edited to say birthday was yesterday but got her gifts today

I think she thinks she’s being helpful buying in things for you for Christmas. So you don’t need to as you don’t like Christmas. So I think she’s trying to be thoughtful and kind.

Make DH make it really clear between now and next year that you have no more space for Christmas stuff in your home and that anything extra will have to be given away to charity. But that a beauty advent would be much appreciated. Or for him to give her a short list of ideas so a book you’d like, hobby stuff, special foods etc.

Nice gift. And a whole month of gifts. My husband’s family don’t give DIL/SIL gifts. Not even cards so enjoy!

By that token, my PIL were being kind ensuring I had a recipe for a dish they would make (but I never would) to look at while drying a cereal bowl on a random day. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Nobody needs Xmas themed coasters or plates. So buying them as a gift is doubly insulting because you’re giving something that isn’t actually for that person whilst strongly implying this is how that thing they don’t Ctually lile
much should be.