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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My son's barber's tattoo

157 replies

sunshineandskyscrapers · 01/11/2024 23:25

I took DS (9) to the barber's this afternoon. It's a shop we've used a few times before, now that he's pretty much aged out of the designated kiddy hairdresser, which is also a bit of a drive away, whereas this one is local and you can usually book in the day before. The shop is part of a chain. We've booked in with the two female barbers there previously but they were already booked up for today so I booked in with a guy. First time a man's cut my son's hair but he seemed perfectly lovely and took his time to do a really nice job on my son's hair.

So the problem I have is that the barber was wearing shorts showing a large tattoo of Andrew Tate on his lower leg. This had no impact on my son's experience at all, but made me feel uneasy that my son was in the company of a man who chooses to act as a human billboard for a misogynistic arsehole in his place of work, and worrying that this man can sport this tattoo so overtly with nobody batting an eyelid. And by paying for his services I am supporting him. I might be more sensitive to this today, as this morning I had a conversation with a colleague whose family member is in a coercive relationships with an Andrew Tate supporter and the details of this were really unpleasant.

I am not sure what my AIBU is. I won't book in with this barber again, but not sure if I should also avoid the whole shop due to their seeming acceptance of the casual misogyny. Is this just what barber shops are like or is this likely to be a one-off arsehole?

Also I feel confused. Surely any woman is going to run a mile from any man who supports Andrew Tate to the extent that he has him tattooed on his leg. Or as an Andrew Tate supporter is he so confident in his abilities to control and abuse women that he doesn't feel the badge of honour will hamper his efforts? I feel slightly regretful that I didn't ask him.

OP posts:
oldcow44 · 04/11/2024 22:19

That is an amazing update OP. Fair play to you for checking it out but I'm howling 😂

The big question is, will you go back?

Errors · 04/11/2024 22:20

This is hilarious. It wasn’t even AT 😂😂

By the way, I highly recommend listening to Mac Miller. He was a genius. RIP

WafferThin · 04/11/2024 22:20

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Arlanymor · 04/11/2024 22:20

I think the fact they took it seriously and responded is a really good sign that you have not only a good barbers in terms of the haircut they did, but in terms of their aftercare service. Good people to stick with. Thanks for the update.

sunshineandskyscrapers · 04/11/2024 22:21

oldcow44 · 04/11/2024 22:19

That is an amazing update OP. Fair play to you for checking it out but I'm howling 😂

The big question is, will you go back?

Absolutely, and for the record my town, like most, is absolutely littered with barber shops.

OP posts:
sunshineandskyscrapers · 04/11/2024 22:22

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😂😂😂😂

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oldcow44 · 04/11/2024 22:23

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If it had been AT it would have been a misogynistic slur so don't think it was wrong of OP to question it and certainly doesn't breech any human rights ffs! He had it on full view on his leg 😂

Arlanymor · 04/11/2024 22:23

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No, sounds like a non-chain independent business that care about their customers and know that their reputation matters. Nothing to do with human rights, that’s a bizarre claim, it’s visible ink on a person’s body, they will get questions or comments on it all the time from anyone, anywhere at anytime. And they would expect this otherwise they wouldn’t choose it have it in a visible place.

sunshineandskyscrapers · 04/11/2024 22:23

Yes! I think so too.

OP posts:
sunshineandskyscrapers · 04/11/2024 22:25

Arlanymor · 04/11/2024 22:23

No, sounds like a non-chain independent business that care about their customers and know that their reputation matters. Nothing to do with human rights, that’s a bizarre claim, it’s visible ink on a person’s body, they will get questions or comments on it all the time from anyone, anywhere at anytime. And they would expect this otherwise they wouldn’t choose it have it in a visible place.

Small chain, but just local to my area. Yes, they seem to care about getting it right for their customers.

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 04/11/2024 22:27

sunshineandskyscrapers · 04/11/2024 22:25

Small chain, but just local to my area. Yes, they seem to care about getting it right for their customers.

So good to hear.

MartinCrieffsLemon · 04/11/2024 22:28

I genuinely can't believe a shop actually questioned their staff like this

And there is no way in Hell I'd show my face there again

WafferThin · 04/11/2024 22:29

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sunshineandskyscrapers · 04/11/2024 22:29

And there is no way in Hell I'd show my face there again

@MartinCrieffsLemon
That's fine, you don't need to.

OP posts:
MartinCrieffsLemon · 04/11/2024 22:34

sunshineandskyscrapers · 04/11/2024 22:29

And there is no way in Hell I'd show my face there again

@MartinCrieffsLemon
That's fine, you don't need to.

You're now the weirdo who stared at the bloke's leg for the whole hair cut

sunshineandskyscrapers · 04/11/2024 22:38

MartinCrieffsLemon · 04/11/2024 22:34

You're now the weirdo who stared at the bloke's leg for the whole hair cut

The weirdo who stared at the bloke's leg for the whole hair cut .. whilst pulling faces at my son in the mirror. - I'll take that.

OP posts:
oldcow44 · 04/11/2024 22:39

MartinCrieffsLemon · 04/11/2024 22:28

I genuinely can't believe a shop actually questioned their staff like this

And there is no way in Hell I'd show my face there again

They probably had a good laugh about it.

If it had been AT it would have made a difference to whether or not OP would have gone there again so she was perfectly within her rights to ask. It's just a funny misunderstanding that I'm sure everyone will have a joke about after. Nothing that weird about it, more comical than anything.

Attelina · 04/11/2024 22:40

Andrew Tate has charges brought against him but hasn't actually been found guilty of said crimes.

It's a bit pathetic to get your knickers in a twist over someone who at this moment in time is not guilty of anything!

sunshineandskyscrapers · 04/11/2024 22:42

Attelina · 04/11/2024 22:40

Andrew Tate has charges brought against him but hasn't actually been found guilty of said crimes.

It's a bit pathetic to get your knickers in a twist over someone who at this moment in time is not guilty of anything!

Don't worry. My knickers are completely untwisted. You might want to read the thread though.

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WafferThin · 04/11/2024 22:42

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MartinCrieffsLemon · 04/11/2024 22:50

oldcow44 · 04/11/2024 22:39

They probably had a good laugh about it.

If it had been AT it would have made a difference to whether or not OP would have gone there again so she was perfectly within her rights to ask. It's just a funny misunderstanding that I'm sure everyone will have a joke about after. Nothing that weird about it, more comical than anything.

You don't think there's something weird about a woman staring at someone's leg for so long and then emailing about it?

oldcow44 · 04/11/2024 22:58

@MartinCrieffsLemon I don't think it's weird to notice a tattoo that's blatantly on show. People generally have tattoos at least partly because they want others to notice them.

The fact she noticed it and believed it to be someone incredibly controversial and offensive isn't weird, it's a misunderstanding.

And if it had been AT then it would have suggested some very dodgy beliefs of the barber and consequently the reputation of the business so that's why she questioned it. I wouldn't want to support a business that causally supported such shitty views either.

I'm not sure why people are making out it's soooo weird for her to be 'staring' - she just noticed a visible tattoo lol.

WafferThin · 04/11/2024 23:00

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Sd1960 · 04/11/2024 23:01

None of this actually happened

oldcow44 · 04/11/2024 23:04

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He's still a complete twat with very damaging views. He hates women. And I'd assume anyone who felt passionately enough to get a tattoo of him felt the same. I would find it offensive and wouldn't want to give someone like that my business.

OP misunderstood who it was. Big deal. They probably are laughing about it because misunderstandings like this can be comical. I say well done to her for being assertive enough to ask the question rather than passively ignoring it and just avoiding the place when, as it turned out, she doesn't need to.

Why are you just trying to stick the boot in?

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