Grandparents and clothes

[newandconfused5]

Hi everyone, I am trying to work out if my feelings of being annoyed are justified or if I'm being unreasonable.. here goes, please be kind!..

MIL last minute invited my older two children for dinner at her house tonight as a treat (I have 3 kids, the toddler stayed home). This hasn't happened in a long time so my kids were excited.

MIL picked the kids up at 4:30 and I specifically said, will you need wellies (for the garden) I then said actually you won't be going out there in the dark. So I didn't send wellies or a coat as MIL lives 5 minutes down the road and kids literally going from house to house.

I put my kids in their Ugg boots. When they came home (at 7pm) they had been in the garden with torches and Ugg boots are ruined.

I would always take wellies and coat but as they were popping in for dinner and it is dark (and getting colder) I didn't send them.

Am I right for feeling a bit annoyed that the expensive shoes are wrecked?
Is it my fault for not sending wellies just in case (after saying you won't need wellies will you?).

I am grateful the kids have had a good time and for MIL to feed them. As I say a real treat.

Obviously I won't say anything but are my feelings misplaced?

Thanks

Your fault, sorry.

Are the boots really not fixable?

it’s fair enough to be annoyed I guess but if you’re not going to say anything then not much point holding on to it

yabu

Did she answer the wellie question or did you answer it yourself?

I answered the wellie question and she agreed.

I'd be annoyed with this OP

50/50 I probably wouldn’t use wellies just to play in the garden as wouldn’t expect kids to have shoes on that can’t withstand any form of mud.

YANBU. She should've realised that they'd get ruined.

Don't those things just go in the wash?

I think if you send the kids anywhere you need to send them in things they are able to play in without worrying if they get wrecked. I tend to think of sheepskin boots as slippers so I would have put them in some outdoor shoes.

Tell dh to ask them when are they replacing the dc's good boots...... If dc went there and wrecked something of theirs would they expect it replaced?

sorry, this one is on you! Kids will have loved playing out in the dark, mine do this every night through the winter, really makes the most of the long, dark nights!

as a rule here we don’t buy clothes or shoes that we aren’t prepared to get damaged (with the exception of formal wear for weddings etc of course!) childhood is for enjoying, being precious about clothes can wait!

Maybe the boots are fixable, when they dry out and get some cleaner on them.

But right now, the look like they will never recover.

First world problems.. but I like to have warm shoes for the winter (and it's just the start of winter and they aren't looking good!!)

I'd be annoyed but would chalk it up to experience and not say anything. I'd only put DS in that kind of footwear if I knew I'd be the only one supervising where he was walking because one 'oh I want to walk on the grass' and they're ruined 🫠

Uggs are warm but totally impractical unless it’s the leather boots you are talking about and not the traditional Ugg type boots.

Honestly I think YABU in buying them Uggs in the first place! They're expensive and likely to get spoiled by mud or rain. Completely impractical for young children.

I'm not usually precious and have plenty of outside clothes for all weathers. I thought it would be easier to just pop down the road without bags of wellies and coats.

Thanks all. Quite split on the responses, which is how I feel, happy they had a great time, sad that the fact they didn't have the right shoes on (or any coats either) wasn't thought about.

I'd be annoyed then but it's a good lesson for your kids they need to learn things need to be looked after so now they've got manky ugg boots

They are the soft Uggs for reference. Not hard Chelsea boot type.

Your MIL probably didn’t have any plans for them to play in the garden, the kids may have asked to go out. And those boots can get ruined in a couple of minutes.

I'd be annoyed too- it's easy to see that Ugg boots are not suitable for grassy, muddy areas.

I don't think your being unreasonable at all. Your in- laws are adults and should have checked the children had suitable outdoor wear. Not only are the boots ruined but the children's feet were probably cold and damp.

I'm sure they did ask to go out and MIL just wanted to please and say yes.

I suppose my thinking is that if I were looking after other people's children. If they wanted to run around my garden in nice new shoes and no coat in the dark in November, I would say no. Because they don't have a coat and their feet would get wet (and shoes ruined).. so there's that to consider as well I suppose.

I would be annoyed too, your MIL is an adult too and could have just said they had to stay inside. The boots probably are ruined I hate to say!

Your mistake though is telling everyone on Mumsnet your DCs have Ugg boots, as that’s what all the replies will fixate on! It’s the same as if you sent them in their school shoes and they got ruined. It’s the principle of it. Your MIL should take some responsibility especially as you’d already alerted her to the fact the shoes would get ruined outside.

I have to agree with this in afraid. Beyond being warm they are basically incompatible with winter weather.

I knew saying they were Uggs could get the wrong replies. But wanted to be specific so you all had a visual and knew price point and that they would be pretty wrecked running around a wet and muddy garden!

To justify my shoe choice, I use them in the winter as an every day shoe. For dry days!!
I'm not overly precious but I have just bought them for the winter so would have liked them to look presentable for a little while longer yet!!

I know it's my own fault but equally, didn't want to pack them off with extra clothing for a two hour dinner trip to nanny's. They're not babies anymore so thought they could travel light!!

I'm 50/50 really. I have my granddaughter here at a lot and I have wellies and a coat for her here. She's still a baby(under 2) and she loves being outside. I find it hard to say no to her because she will get really upset (and who wants to upset her over a garden?) so I just make sure she has adequate shoes and coats. I know her mum dresses her beautifully and I know her mum wouldn't want her shoes etc covered in mud so I'm careful.

I take that your kids are older and just wanted to go out and MIL found it hard to say no to them. I probably would have tried very hard to say no to them on the basis of their shoes....and just hope they don't "create" like my granddaughter does! And being older I guess they would just comply?

On the other hand, it wouldn't have hurt to just stick a coat and wellies in a bag "just in case" and probably in MILs defence does she know anything about uggs/how expensive they are? I know my MIL wouldn't have had a clue .

I think she was probably just excited to have the kids and them too and none of them just thought about it