Grandparents and clothes

[newandconfused5]

Hi everyone, I am trying to work out if my feelings of being annoyed are justified or if I'm being unreasonable.. here goes, please be kind!..

MIL last minute invited my older two children for dinner at her house tonight as a treat (I have 3 kids, the toddler stayed home). This hasn't happened in a long time so my kids were excited.

MIL picked the kids up at 4:30 and I specifically said, will you need wellies (for the garden) I then said actually you won't be going out there in the dark. So I didn't send wellies or a coat as MIL lives 5 minutes down the road and kids literally going from house to house.

I put my kids in their Ugg boots. When they came home (at 7pm) they had been in the garden with torches and Ugg boots are ruined.

I would always take wellies and coat but as they were popping in for dinner and it is dark (and getting colder) I didn't send them.

Am I right for feeling a bit annoyed that the expensive shoes are wrecked?
Is it my fault for not sending wellies just in case (after saying you won't need wellies will you?).

I am grateful the kids have had a good time and for MIL to feed them. As I say a real treat.

Obviously I won't say anything but are my feelings misplaced?

Thanks

Equally, if they said we will likely go in garden, after I double checked, I would have sent the mountain of boots/coats and waterproofs with them! As well as spare clothes too just in case!

Age 9 and 5 if that matters..

So really, on a cold and dark night, they probably would have taken a no quite well.

They didn't even have a coat.

Thank you all for your replies though!!
Quite mixed so I think I'm right in the way I am thinking. As it is a bit annoying but not much I can do and all my fault I suppose!

Thanks everyone

I would have also expected the 9 year old to consider playing in mud in Ugg boots as well.

What can't kids go out when it's dark? Why not just send them and not make it a thing?

I am struggling to get past you thinking Uggs are a sensible choice for kids in winter in the UK. Not about the price or brand either, they are just totally not waterproof and so easily ruined! Why would you not go for something like Sorel? Uggs are just going to get ruined so quickly and surely wet days need warm boots too?! We have these for DC: www.sorel.com/p/out-n-about-iv-strap-childrens-waterproof-boot-2088661.html.

I wouldn't have known Uggs weren't at least a bit weatherproof so wouldn't have known they couldn't go out in them if I were the GPs. Did they know? I wouldn't send DC anywhere in shoes I was fussy about.

My thinking was not to send them with bags of stuff to just pop in for dinner.

Stupid I know! As wellies in a bag would have been easy but I feel like i over pack for them and thought it was a simple thing. Dinner inside.

The garden is large and surrounded by fields (countryside) so essentially they were running around in fields.

Let the boots dry out and then use a suede brush on them to get the mud off. They will probably be fine. Never understand why people buy winter boots that can’t cope with wet weather and a bit of mud!

This, OP.
sorry 🤷🏼‍♀️

This is what kids should be doing I have never put my child in anything that means they have to stop playing or exploring

I like the look of Sorel.. thank you!
And thank you for cleaning advice.

My kids have multiple appropriate shoe choices. They were just wearing the wrong shoe!!they each have the waterproof boot option for school, they are great and totally indestructible)

Both have wellies and waterproof walking boots too.

The Uggs (which I know are marmite) are just for normal days walking down a street, going out for lunch etc.

I always make sure the kids are wearing the right clothing for what they are doing.. they have a lots of outside mucky and muddy fun! Which is why I'm so annoyed with myself.

The 9 year old should have known better

To justify my shoe choice Don't be silly buy whatever shoes you like!!!

Yeah OP you really shouldn't ever buy anything nice or dress your children in anything other than sackcloth and old rags. And if your MIL is doing any amount of childcare at all then she's got every right to destroy anything you own and you would be rude and entitled to be even slightly put out. Did you not read the MN rules?

Should be fine to bung on a quick wash and pack with newspaper and put in airing cupboard.

Children are not dolls to dress up they should be allowed to be children in anything

My kids play out and explore all the time. If they're wearing something that's not suitable they change first, like, you know, normal people. This doesn't mean I'm treating them like dolls.

This is what kids should be doing I have never put my child in anything that means they have to stop playing or exploring

So if they feel like playing outside in the dark and mud, but happen to be wearing their pajamas and slippers at the time, then you'd let them just go out and roll around in the mud like that? After all, it would ruin the creativity and magic of childhood to ask them to put on something more sensible. Stop talking self-righteous nonsense.

I am a gm. If my gd at that age wanted to play in the garden with unsuitable shoes l would have said no. I might pop on my fleece if she had no coat but no way would l allow her ruin her footwear. Not a very responsible gran l fear.

Why didn't you send the wellies? It's sort if asking for problems of you know the childrens' boots can't be used to play in. Waste of money. This would happen in no time.

Doesn’t the 9 year old know better? Than to get her nice boots dirty and muddy?

don’t buy your kids such overpriced and overhyped shoes but proper winter boots that are suitable for English winters.

I am sure they weren’t freezing or they would have come in. How long were they even outside?

I would have thought gran would have had a bit more sense to let them in the garden without decent footwear or jackets in this weather. We might be old but we're not stupid.

She didn’t send them in other shoes because she asked MIL who said they wouldn’t go outside because it’s dark and cold. It’s in the OP.

Boots like that will be ruined in no time in England.You should always send wellies.

Indeed.

I'd be annoyed with MIL.

Either she's a flake who doesn't do details or she wanted to teach you a lesson about buying Uggs for kids.

A good way to find out which it is would be for your H to ask her to pay for replacement Uggs. If she has strong feelings about Uggs for children, that will probably emerge in the conversation that follows the request.

At least you'll know what you're dealing with from then on, even if she won't pay up.

It's worth trying to salvage them imo. Wait til the mud dries - don't put them on a radiator or near one. Just leave them in a dry spot. Use a dry, firm-bristled scrubbing brush to scratch as much dry mud off as possible. Then hose them down and scrub gently with an old, soft-bristled toothbrush. You can finish up with a suede cleaning bar.

You have nothing to lose here.

None of mine 9 yo would have paid any attention.

You should have packed the Wellies and coats .