Grandparents and clothes

[newandconfused5]

Hi everyone, I am trying to work out if my feelings of being annoyed are justified or if I'm being unreasonable.. here goes, please be kind!..

MIL last minute invited my older two children for dinner at her house tonight as a treat (I have 3 kids, the toddler stayed home). This hasn't happened in a long time so my kids were excited.

MIL picked the kids up at 4:30 and I specifically said, will you need wellies (for the garden) I then said actually you won't be going out there in the dark. So I didn't send wellies or a coat as MIL lives 5 minutes down the road and kids literally going from house to house.

I put my kids in their Ugg boots. When they came home (at 7pm) they had been in the garden with torches and Ugg boots are ruined.

I would always take wellies and coat but as they were popping in for dinner and it is dark (and getting colder) I didn't send them.

Am I right for feeling a bit annoyed that the expensive shoes are wrecked?
Is it my fault for not sending wellies just in case (after saying you won't need wellies will you?).

I am grateful the kids have had a good time and for MIL to feed them. As I say a real treat.

Obviously I won't say anything but are my feelings misplaced?

Thanks

I had no idea they weren’t waterproof - they are boots, isn’t that kind of the point of boots?

I'm not anti uggs I've owned several pairs, but they are in no way suitable for a five year old (also have one of those) my originals lasted a good few years and I wore them a lot the second pair lasted two winters and looked knackered after the first. If you want to get them those kind of boots get the cheap knock offs, the quality is no different these days but the price is.
My MIL would've had no idea any kind of boots were not suitable for going outside in the wet, they're boots. That's what boss are supposed to be for.

To answer the questions as to why I didn't put them in wellies as opposed to putting them in a bag to send with them..

We had been out for the day and the wellies were covered in wet mud. I didn't want to have them wear them in MILs car.

MIL is 5 minutes down the road by car so didn't feel the need to pop their coats on as going from house to car to house.

I'm annoyed with myself as always send it appropriate clothing that I'm not precious about.

Thank you all

This. Never dress your children in something they can't get dirty in.

You’re comment about the temperature aren’t logically. If it’s warm enough to walk outside for 5 mins without a coat then it’s definitley warm enough to play outside.

Sorry, children traveled to MIL by car

They’ll wash easily, the dark doesn’t stop play, neither does weather mild enough to not need a coat for the journey.

As an aside uggs are poor for foot health, particularly developing feet, I wouldn’t want children of that age wearing them for any length of time. They’re flat inside and not well fitting, so increase the risk of things like hammer toes, over pronation etc.

Your MIL may not have realised they would be ruined.

I almost bought a pair before realising they couldn't be got wet.

I got some snow boots instead that can cope with wet and are warm.

Easy to be wise after the event and no blame here, but I generally ask if my grandchildren can wear oldish clothes if we are doing something messy like cooking. But children can be unpredictable and maybe they rushed outside before your MIL could stop them! I would have packed boots etc just in case! But I agree that childhood is short and they have plenty of time to worry about clothes in the future.

This

Don't buy kids shoes that can't be cleaned is the moral of the story here - plenty of options suitable in the uk's rather moderate climate that are more practical than designer boots. Thick socks, two pairs even plus wellies are better or I always had hiking boots for mine

The solution for next time though is to send them in shoes that don't matter too much for trips to grandparents, it's not a fashion parade, keep best shoes for best

This is what I was thinking.

Leave bits of spare clothes such as wellies / tracky pants / undies / jumper / pj's / coat at grandparents house for emergencies. Easier all round.

YABU for having these as winter footwear for “playing outside” aged kids

You should have sent them in shoes you didn’t feel precious about. I get it, OP. You bought something nice for the children to wear and they got messed up and realistically I know I’d be feeling annoyed too but best not send them in something new and precious. Trainers or something a bit battered would have been better, or make it explicit that the shoes weren’t to go out

They used to do a waterproof version. Looked like the standard UGG minis but waterproof and with non-slip vibram soles. They are so cosy and practical and my pair have survived heavy rain, mud, snow… they will need replacing soon (they’ve lasted 5 or 6 years so far) and I’d love to get another pair but they don’t seem to make them any more.

I wouldn’t buy the normal ones. No point in a boot you can’t get wet when you live in the UK imo.

I don't think it's your fault. I wouldn't expect them to be going in the garden if they are going for dinner and it is already dark. Your MIL should have either said 'no' to your kids, or given you a quick ring to ask you to bring down their wellies and coats.

Another one who wouldn't have known that type of shoe can't get wet. My DC are slightly older than yours, and I have never vetted their friends footwear when letting them out to play. I always assumed a child would be wearing suitable clothing for whatever.

Theres nothing my DC love more than playing out with torches in the garden at this time of year. It's not late, the dark is a novelty and it's not particularly cold either.

I'm undecided on whether your DC should have known not to. Mine certainly wouldn't have given it a second though but then mine have never had "posh " boots just because. She has one pair of summer trainers, one pair of spring/autumn (i.e. goretex or equivalent) trainers and one pair of snow boots (again properly waterproof ones) for the winter. However if you've brought her up to constantly worry about which type of clothes she's wearing and if they can get dirty or not, then she probably should have realised. However, if this is one of the first times she's worn them since last year and you assumed she'd remember from last year that her boots shouldn't get dirty, that's on you!

As for the coat...my Dd went out to play in the snow in her pjs and snow boots last year in minus temperatures. I sent her back into put something sensible on and she put her dressing gown over her pjs and a woolly hat and gloves on and went back out... When they're excited about something they don't care about coats!

Personally I wouldn’t spend Uggs prices for kids that outgrow them within a year. Maybe the MIL didn’t realise they would be ruined. It’s pretty mild so not that bad they went out without coats.

No, you're not right in being annoyed.
You should have sent wellies.
Also, Uggs are horrific for growing feet.

Uggs are not good boots. They're glorified slippers.

I would assume she doesn't know about uggs. They look like they're meant for messing about in the garden. How awful for you

That's a ridiculous suggestion that would stir up totally unnecessary animosity between you and the grandparents.

Just wash the Ugg boots on a gentle cycle and dry them over a radiator. The sheepswool lining comes up fluffy as new. I've done it before. Next time send wellies and don't get upset about minor inconveniences.

I would send a bag to keep there with old clothes in so if they want to play outside they can change into them