Grandparents and clothes

[newandconfused5]

Hi everyone, I am trying to work out if my feelings of being annoyed are justified or if I'm being unreasonable.. here goes, please be kind!..

MIL last minute invited my older two children for dinner at her house tonight as a treat (I have 3 kids, the toddler stayed home). This hasn't happened in a long time so my kids were excited.

MIL picked the kids up at 4:30 and I specifically said, will you need wellies (for the garden) I then said actually you won't be going out there in the dark. So I didn't send wellies or a coat as MIL lives 5 minutes down the road and kids literally going from house to house.

I put my kids in their Ugg boots. When they came home (at 7pm) they had been in the garden with torches and Ugg boots are ruined.

I would always take wellies and coat but as they were popping in for dinner and it is dark (and getting colder) I didn't send them.

Am I right for feeling a bit annoyed that the expensive shoes are wrecked?
Is it my fault for not sending wellies just in case (after saying you won't need wellies will you?).

I am grateful the kids have had a good time and for MIL to feed them. As I say a real treat.

Obviously I won't say anything but are my feelings misplaced?

Thanks

I'd be annoyed but I'd also learn a lesson that she can't be trusted. I mean, she knows they're not garden boots.

No 9yo should be concerned about clothes in this situation i.e. for just going in the garden 5min from home. Not a dig at OP who dressed the DCs appropriately for what she the situation would be.

@newandconfused5 - pretty’s sure Uggs can go in the wash

Ruined? Seriously? What were they doing!

How old are the chn? Did they not think? Why do they have Uggs?

The question of wellies and coats had already come up.

The MIL could have told the kids to wait while she phoned the OP and asked her to please bring jackets and wellies five minutes up the road. That's not a no.

Frankly, this fear of upsetting a grandchild theory of why the MIL did this seems a bit off to me. Are there really grown adults out there who are afraid a grandchild might cry or pout? Who basically let small children run amok if that's what they want?

I'd be interested to know if this MIL let the children walk all over her home with those muddy Uggs on or if she had them take them off in the doorway.

OP, it might be fun to ask MIL if her house was ruined by all the mud they must have tracked in...

Surely children should have boots that can withstand mud and rain. Otherwise I don't see the point of them

I’m pretty sure they do have those shoes too as stated by the OP but just on this occasion they were sent to MILs in different shoes, because she agreed they wouldn’t be going outside.

Mumsnet is so ridiculous sometimes. I swear no one is like this in real life. Back in the real world grandparents would just say no because you haven’t got your boots on.

I would have no idea they are expensive and I would have let them out as well... To be honest as long as they still fit they are not ruined they are still for filling their purpose they just don't look as nice.

It's great to be able to hear so many different opinions on the same thing. It's all very interesting. So thank you everyone for taking the time to read and reply.

Can I seriously put the shoes in the washing machine?!.. I'm off to google this.

Boots are currently by the fire, I have my fingers crossed they survive!

Thanks everyone.. I will never send them again without full waterproofs and wellies!!

Wow, talk about making a leap!

Who said anything about sackcloth and old rags? There is a middle ground between dressing your child in rags and £75 shoes you know?
Kids need clothes that will allow them to be kids. Plenty of warm, waterproof and most of all SUITABLE shoes in places like Mountain Warehouse that will withstand weather, mud, rain, running around, jumping and playing!

Regardless, the point I was trying to make is that it’s not about whether or not children should be wearing uggs or any other expensive item of clothing, it’s about recognising that with the best will in the world Children will want to play (as they should!) and it’s up to you, as adults, to provide appropriate clothing for them. If you’re going to put them in expensive clothing for everyday wear then you can’t be annoyed if they don’t take care of them to the standard that you might.

Why did the wellies need 'packing'? Couldn't they have just worn the wellies to her house?

YABU for getting them uggs! They are so bad for growing feet and ankles!

I always thought Uggs were slippers, meant for indoor use only. They're not waterproof at all so why would anyone wear them outside?
So, YABU got putting your children out in slippers but MIL is also unreasonable for also putting them outside in slippers.

Hopefully the boots can be rescued. If you're anything like me, part of your anger will be at yourself, because you knew wellies would be a good idea and then talked yourself out of sending them.

This is what is puzzling me about the whole thing.
Could they not have just walked there in the wellies and take them off when they go inside.
Seems so much easier than carrying them for just incase.

I think you should just chalk it up to one of those things that happens.
You COULD have sent suitable footwear, but didn't because you didn't think you needed to, granny could have stopped them going out, but didn't think they'd get too cold and thought they'd have fun, which is fine. To be honest I would have supposed that kids in boots HAD suitable footwear, because I don't wear boots for show, just for keeping my feet warm and dry. You were at cross purposes, no-one's fault, move on.

Would mil be familiar enough with uggs to know they’re expensive and not weather proof?

No they are suede! You can buy an ugh cleaning kit it's £38 but worth it as should last a while it comes with a protector too.

My little one wears ugh type boots they are comfortable and warm and as long as it's not raining or they are not running through muddy fields are the perfect choice for them to wear. Easy on and off for play centre/ trampoline park visits and swimming lessons etc. Fur lined and cosy too.

I'm be annoyed. My kids are still small. I tend not to trust others with keeping them clean and returning clothes so try and just send them in cheap gumboots and daycare clothes. It sounds like I should just keep it up in future!

Why is it important that kids are kept clean?

Children get dirty, ours will be in the garden most days whatever the weather. I don't see why children would have normal, everyday clothes that are too precious to get dirty. To be fair all their 'posh' clothes are machine washable too so they're free to puddle jump in those too.

I stick my Uggs in the washing machine on a 30° with non bio. Then stuff them with newspaper and leave them to air dry. Takes a couple of days. Brush the outside with a bristle brush and a bit of waterproof spray, good as new.

Why doesn’t MIL have a box of wellies & selection of coats for when GC come over, I have a selection of sizes of wellies & various coats, hats, scarves, gloves, plus changes of clothes etc so the kids if they pop in, from anywhere & want to go out to play it’s not a problem to quickly change & go out so their normal clothes don’t get ruined. They aren’t here all the time but I pick up bits when the sales are on & keep them here for when needed.

If it wasn't cold enough for them to need coats to walk to MIL's then they definitely didn't need coats whilst running around and getting warm. Here it's not even that cold tbh.

As for Uggs, I never agree with putting kids in clothes you're precious about unless it's for like a wedding (and even then, you should be open to the fact they'll get messy). There are fields outside. The possibility was there so be prepared for it.

And a 9 year old doesn't care about labels 🤣

I can't get my head around kids having Ugg boots, but that wasn't your question. Expect your MIL had no idea how expensive or impractical they are. Sorry OP, I think you have to take responsibility for this one.

Any chance they will brush up once they dry off?