Too be really fucking angry with people who just let abuse happen- Sara Sharif

[dinomirror]

Reading it now its horrific. People saying we heard screams- and yet did nothing??? How does a person just think that no im not going to report this, most likely because they cant be bothered/ dont want to be involved. Scum of the earth the dad is. The stepmother ( and her sister!) going on and on about how they feel bad etc and dont do anything!

100 times more likely to be abused is a huge number, remember it when you see any step parent in a family.

This abuse number is not the same with a solo parent. It's specific and huge with the involvement of a step parent.

This is the issue. It doesn’t matter who it is. If the culture is part of the reason that people don’t report then that is something which needs saying. It’s horrid to read that people consider bigotry far more important than a child’s life.

My job tells me, don’t worry if you think people (like you) will consider you a bigot/racist etc. Be curious. Consider the culture, if it seems innocent in your culture it may not be in theirs.

Do you need a huge example of this?

Are you saying he wouldn’t have abused her if there wasn’t a step parent involved? And in these situations, is it the step parent who is the abuser or is it the natal parent or is it both? Correlation isn’t always causation.

It's one of my bugbears and it infuriates me. How can people who heard a child being beaten night after night, do nothing?

The council absolutely should have checked on Sara once her parents took her out to be home schooled. Do they not have a responsibility to check if she was reviewing an adequate education at home?

So many missed opportunities to save that poor girl, it is shocking what she endured in her short life. I hope her perpetrators are met with the full force of the law.

This reminds me of David and Aimee Challenor story. The father was torturing a young girl in the attic of a small mid terrace house and nobody else heard anything apparently!

Wow its people like you that give our religion a bad name. I am also Muslim, also grew up in a household with Pakistani parents. I am married to a Muslim, have 4 kids and violence or abuse is absolutely not normal in our culture/religion. My parents never hit me and we have never hit our kids so please don't make this about religion/culture. It's fucked up people that do fucked up things to kids, not just in our religion but people all over the world.

Ah, so you haven't read the Bible's scriptures on disciplining children.
Proverbs 23 vs 13-14...

Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. [14] Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

I didn’t say that British people don’t use violence. But it isn’t part of British culture. British people don’t use violence for the same reasons. Other cultures and religions have violence ingrained into their cultures and religions. British people will use violence if they are under the influence of drugs or mental health issues, or if it was due to poverty. Not everyone that has taken drugs, has mental health issues, or are poor, will be violent or kill someone however it effects people differently

Still in Pakistan with relatives. Tricky situation, if both parents are found guilty who will take them on, preferably not the sister who told Sarah’s stepmother to listen to the qu’ran rather than to a child being abused.

I am muslim too and nobody has ever hit me. It absolutely is not normal to hit a female, let alone to the extent to cause such injuries.

Could you stop talking racist shit, please?

I’m not sure what word to use but I don’t think that passage was meant to be taken literally, and violence isn’t something done in our culture anymore

What are you talking about? I remember seeing all the ads when the world Cup was on because there is an increase in violence around that time. To me it was mind boggling that football could cause so much violence at home but it seems it does happen here.

The thing with the extended family knowing and doing nothing, and the neighbour is awful.

But - I saw a post on a group this week. Someone witnessed abuse, called police. Said they’d send someone. Then they received a message saying social services need to to deal with child abuse not them. SS visit. Parents deny any abuse. They close case.
The poster was then like what do I do next?’ She’s going to contact the school but was worried the child could be harmed while it’s half term. No one she contacted has helped.

I have two daughters and I cannot begin to imagine how anyone would let THIER OWN CHILDREN be abused in this way. I would walk through fire for mine. It goes against our instincts? Must be such a complex mix of culture and a poor upbringing maybe fear that makes parents do or allow this

Almost twice as many women in the White ethnic group experienced domestic abuse in the last year (6.0%) compared with Black or Black British women (3.1%) and Asian or Asian British women (3.0%).

This is from the ONS, so I'm not sure how true your statement is.

What about their mother? I think I read she is polish

Reported child abuse this week. A lot of people suspected it but it was only when we all compared notes we realised it was not our imagination and then something happened that confirmed it. Luckily the police were already involved.

White British family. I can't say much as the person involved has been arrested and charged. There are circumstances that make the situation unusual which I also can't discuss.

It happens. I think a lot of the time people really don't want to think how terrible things could be, or are scared of retaliation.

It happens in all cultures, and all socioeconomic groups.

Crime stats show that those who attach to a Step parent, cuse a gigantic safeguarding
problem for children.

Maybe non-abusive parent don't get involved with step parents, or are better at safeguarding their children?

Maybe step parents are more likely to be abusers (non-abusers may be more likely to decline a date if someone has a family) or attracted to abusers?

I don't know those particular details, only that a step parent in family puts abuse stats up 100 times.

Isn’t done in our culture anymore??? Children are abused regardless of their culture and plenty of white British children are beaten by white British parents.

Reporting may happen less where people are concerned they will be viewed as racist/xenophobic but abuse happens across all cultures including white British.

Oh for fuck sake. Can you stop throwing the racism term around. What do you call it when someone is determined to continue ignoring important issues about certain cultures and religious even though they cause violent deaths

@JaniceBattersby good point.

Do they understand their rights? Should we teach the un charter of human rights of the child to children? Teaching them that unequivocally these are their rights but unfortunately I think the ingrained culture etc is too much.

This abuse had gone on for years and years and the sister was told. Why on earth didn't she make an anonymous call to the ss or ask school? She could have done so from a position of safety.

What planet was she on. What background do either sister have to accept this? Saying she's literally dying because of what he's doing to sara??

Exposing her children to this? Did the sister think of her nieces and nephews?

Good on you for doing so, do you think that numerous reports for the same child made a difference?

Do you think the neighbours knew she was being abused? I've not read the latest news - but I know that neighbours of ours could 'hear screams' fairly often. Kids playing together and screaming. Or baby screaming because she doesn't want to get dressed. They honestly do scream quite a lot - and if its a really bad day they might hear one of us shouting as well (shouting at them to stop screaming!)
I suppose I'm saying, do you think you would know if you were hearing screams of someone being really hurt or just tantrum screams or play screams?