Too be really fucking angry with people who just let abuse happen- Sara Sharif

[dinomirror]

Reading it now its horrific. People saying we heard screams- and yet did nothing??? How does a person just think that no im not going to report this, most likely because they cant be bothered/ dont want to be involved. Scum of the earth the dad is. The stepmother ( and her sister!) going on and on about how they feel bad etc and dont do anything!

Yes, and she's potentially just been very clever in creating a history of dialogue that the father was the one perpetrating the abuse. Based on what was found in the house, the police believe that more than one adult was involved. And as you say, then there's the bite marks too.

The whole thing is absolutely horrific. That poor, poor little girl. How lonely and scared she must have felt, and how much pain she must have been in. I wonder about the other children too - even if they weren't subject to anything similar (which I find hard to believe) they've certainly witnessed horrifying abuse.

Where is the evidence for this claim? It is an unrelated care giver, particularly an unrelated male, not step parents specifically and I haven’t ever seen it be given as the greatest risk factor.

I think that many people who have worked in places where they have suspected this kind of abuse will tell a similar story, we were not to rock the boat 30+ years ago, it was all about maintaining good community relations.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Shafilea_Ahmed

Teachers raised concerns about this girl but were slapped down.

Let's stop using the words 'honour killing' and call it what it is, murder.

@Pigeonqueen of course the dad is possibly to blame however we don't know what they did to her either.
I thought it had come into law that people standing by whilst someone is being killed are also culpable

Do you mean coming from a muslim background or Pakistani culture? People from all backgrounds and cultures can be Muslim.

This unfortunately is an ongoing challenge. I'm not sure whether it's being overloaded, becoming desensitised by seeing so much horror, or lack of competency/effective management, but it seems to be getting harder and harder to get social services to take action.

I know as a paediatric health professional I have raised concerns so many times to social care, and 95% of the time they either reject the referral straight away, or do a quick check and close the case. If i then escalate/challenge, i have been called 'rude, pushy, unprofessional etc', had conplaints made about me. The referrals take 1-2 hours to complete, then have to be checked by a manager and then sent in, each referral can take half a day to do. And if course it's essential, and a priority, but if health and education professionals keep raising concerns, and keep getting ignored, over time they subconsciously start to doubt themselves 'they are the experts, they keep telling me these things aren't a concern, so maybe I'm wrong to be worried and I will prioritise one of the other 100 things on my to do list'.

The system is failing children, and there are so many times that I have come home and not slept thinking 'what more can I do, how can I get them to take notice, how many more reports and referrals and calls and emails do I have to do for them to take our concerns seriously - I say 'our' as often it's several professionals talking to each other from health and education, all feeding in information but none of us have power to do more than report our concerns.

You truly think that nobody who is white British is never violent under any circumstances? are you for real? do you not read the news?

Have you been to Woking before? It’s not very very white.
the oldest mosque in England is in Woking and it has a large Asian and muslim community.

In 2021, 14.2% of Woking residents identified their ethnic group within the "Asian, Asian British or Asian Welsh" category, up from 11.6% in 2011. The 2.6 percentage-point change was the largest increase among high-level ethnic groups in this area.

Sometimes from my front porch we can hear shouting and arguing and a child/children crying. Often also music (and sometimes music and lots of voices without the shouting etc- its clearly a party house). Loud, aggressive male voice, sometimes loud female voices also, sometimes crying/whining which sounds like a child.

Would you report this? To whom, and how? My house is on a hill and overlooks an estate. We can't tell which house the noise comes from. One night, when it was especially bad, my husband and another neighbour walked down to the estate to try to see which house and if necessary intervene/call someone but by the time they got down there it was quiet.

It haunts me, but I can't see what to do.

The majority of abused children in this country are abused by their biological white British parents.

I doubt that many Christians discipline their children in accordance with a 2000 year old doctrine, we've moved on. Sadly some do abuse their children but they don't hide behind so called scripture.

I see a number of my comments have been reported and removed because people think I am being racist for saying that violence is ingrained in other cultures and religions. Even the OP agreed with me.
this is why people are afraid to speak out.
we have our answer, and it is the same reason why this girl wasn't saved before she was killed.
I’m not here to be abused, I am a highly sensitive person. I am out

Random but does anyone find the house weirdly ultra clean and tidy and almost sterile? Doesn’t seem like the sort of house children live in, just all very strange. And where do they get all their money from? He’s a cab driver, not sure what the others do and they’re driving an expensive Audi and flying business class in emirates (just seen footage of them being arrested). All just extremely strange, I’m wondering if there is some sort of illegal money making going on there as well somewhere. Not particularly relevant I know as anyone from any background can be a child abuser - my own Mum for example, very wealthy, middle class.

@Bushmillsbabe sounds like an expose needs to be done, panorama or something.

She is the mother of Sarah’s brother, but not of the younger children.

@Pigeonqueen I also thought that. With soooo many dc living there and all that violence?
I wonder if they had spent time cleaning it before they left?
How on earth could they get all those dc not to drop things including food etc.
No none of it adds up.

Or more accurately by the unrelated people that their biological parent invites into their home.

Experience of child abuse differs between ethnic groups
The CSEW shows differences in the prevalence of child abuse between ethnic groups. Those identifying as
having a Mixed or multiple ethnic identity were significantly more likely to have experienced abuse before the age
of 16 years (32%) than White (21%), Black (17%), Other (17%) and Asian (11%) ethnic groups

Biblical, historical or otherwise- white children are still being abused at higher rates says the ONS.

I can't seem to find my tiny violin.

I would have reported the noise at once. I've lost count of the times I've called the police on people, including three incidences of domestic violence. I have no idea how people can not report these things. Better safe than sorry.

It is well known that abusers will train for years to access children and that more teachers than priests are child abusers.

It's a well known that on MN the ability to deal with statistics is terrible in many cases. Is it 'well known' what % of teachers and priests are child abusers because the base figures are very different, ie there are far more teachers than priests.

No, you wouldn't necessarily have been banned yet. There are lots of racists on MN that seem to be allowed to stay. But I'm an optimist, so hopefully MN will get round to banning you if you keep posting racist stuff.

I don't think your posts have been reported because they have been misinterpreted. They have been reported and deleted because the content was fundamentally racist. You might not like to think of yourself in those terms - few people will openly admit to being racist - but if you repeatedly post racist statements, then people will draw their own conclusions.

There is nothing qualitatively different about violence/abuse in "British culture" and violence/abuse perpetrated by people from other cultures. The argument that it's down to "mental health" when the perpetrator is "British" (by which I presume you mean white British) but "cultural" when the perpetrators are from other ethnicities is just pure prejudice.

No, the majority of cases where a child gets removed from the home due to abuse or neglect are where the biological parents are the perpetrators.

@TotHappy the police? Let them drive around and try and find it? Maybe, hopefully neighbours are at least reporting the noise

It's vile they way the step mum, and indirectly her sisters, did nothing to try and protect Sara.
Bhatool constantly claimed she felt sorry for her and witnessed the disgusting abuse but still did nothing. The sister seemed keen for her to tell Sara to stop disobeying her Monster of a Dad and to read religious texts while her step daughter was being attacked in the other room.
Neighbours obviously could've called the police or SS. But it's really the other adults in the family who knew about it that are scum of the planet.