I have been passive aggressive without knowing......

[letsallcountsheep]

I don't use social media a lot and tend to live in my own little bubble. I had no idea that the thumbs up was passive aggressive 😬

Now I feel like I need to make a lot of apologies 😅 I just saw it as a quick I agree with what was said

👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

It’s entirely context dependent. Thumbs up at a positive message or cute photo, or to express agreement = fine. Thumbs up to something which would not, in real life, warrant a positive or celebratory response = can be perceived as purposefully dickish.

Eh?

I didn't know it was PA.

Its a bit of a lazy CBA response, or a way of ending a conversation etc, but yes I'd have thought it just means I agree with you and have nothing to add.

If someone sent me a thumbs up in response to a positive message I've sent, I would think they're a dick. It's a very blunt response which can come across quite rude. How hard is it to say 'ok' or 'thanks'

It is not aggressive, passive or otherwise. Thumbs up has always meant OK, all good etc.

Is it? Thought it meant ok

Christ when will this end of people reading more into things than is there. To me it's just an acknowledgement of whatever was said last

I wouldn't see OK or thanks as any different TBH. Either it needs a proper response or thumbs up means OK/thanks IMO.

I didn't know it was passive aggressive either. I tend to use it when people make requests (admittedly friends and family) for things like if they ask can I pick up milk on the way home etc.

Can you give an example? I'd think it's a quick and efficient way to respond

If you sent a text eg "thanks for the cake it was delicious" I'd think a thumbs up is sufficient, just acknowledging your message. Would you think I was rude?

I use 👍 all the time, to acknowledge something or thank someone... many other reasons I'm sure.
I don't think it's rude 🤷‍♀️.

I'm still struggling with a full stop being seen as rude

.

It is lazy, and a bit of a can't be bothered response. Like "yeah - ok - whatever"

It depends how you use it. If someone sends you a long message and clearly wants some kind of response then the thumbs up is a little passive aggressive. However, it's often a completely appropriate response. Earlier, I asked my boss a question on Teams. He replied "Yes" and I gave the thumbs up. That's fine.

@scrimblescramble would you rather have no acknowledgement? If I CBA or don't have time to type a full response or delve round in the myriad of emojis and I just want to end the conversation?

What? I'm way too old for this world! A full-stop is surely just punctuation.

Context dependant as most things in life. A long message with emotional or difficult content or includes information you need to give an answer to, then yes sending a thumbs up is passive aggressive. Me adding to to a photo of cousins kids in Halloween costumes, fine.

Think it's fine

I have one friend where I have to put a thumbs up on her messages which require no response, otherwise she messages me an hour later to ask, despite me having the blue ticks on, if I've seen her message and goes into a great big explanation of how she needs to know that I've seen and understood it and how she took time out of her day to send me the message (it never occurs to her that other people have to take time out of their days to read her messages). Where to me, her saying (for example) "I'll bring a bottle of wine tonight" requires no response at all. I don't even need to know, let alone respond.

No it's always passive aggressive.

Choose another emoji if you don't want to be seen as passive aggressive, like a heart. Even acceptable with strangers and colleagues these days.

Totally context dependent.

If someone wrote you a long and heartfelt spiel about how they felt you'd undermined them in an important meeting and blah blah blah, and you replied 👍, that's dismissive and pass-ag.

If someone says thanks for sending me x doc, 👍 just means "no problem", "you're welcome".

If someone sends you an extra item for the shopping list and you reply 👍, it just means - "seen this".

It's low effort for situations where going to a lot of effort is unwarranted.

I use it all the time with ds and dh if they send me a message saying, "On my way" etc. It means I've seen their message but it doesn't need a big response and they can just glance at their phones and know I've got their text. I think if i even thought to use it pa, the meaning would be lost sd iy definitely just means okay.

Yeah probably, because my response to 'thanks for the cake' would be 'no problem, glad you enjoyed.' If someone said 'thanks for the cake' to you in person, you wouldn't just stick your thumb out to them or not respond, you'd probably say 'that's okay.'

My older male cousin uses it to me and I always think it means 'great. Now leave me alone you insignificant bottom feeder'. But he is a bit of an arsehole, lol 🤣