I have been passive aggressive without knowing......

[letsallcountsheep]

I don't use social media a lot and tend to live in my own little bubble. I had no idea that the thumbs up was passive aggressive 😬

Now I feel like I need to make a lot of apologies 😅 I just saw it as a quick I agree with what was said

So rude to use that, Like telling someone that they look well.

Absolute wankerish behaviour

I used to think the thumbs up was a bit abrupt, but so many people I know use it genuinely, that I look more kindly on it now! I would, however, assume someone was (unjustly) pissed off with me, if I texted them to e.g. apologise that I could no longer make a date or arrangement and suggested rescheduling, and they responded with 👍!

I shall too - DH and I thumbs up each other’s texts all the time as an OK/Got it indicator. For us it means: “seen/read/taken on board/no reply requested”, so either our marriage is seriously in the shit or context is everything.

Perhaps the fact that our messages are interspersed with cute doggy tiktok and snaps of our own dogs negates the passive aggressive element?

Probably depends on who you're talking to. My parents would take it differently to my teens.

I always thumbs up..

I think it can be passive aggressive when a whole personal reply would have been warranted. So long wall of text, then a thumbs up is a bit off. If it's to show agreement with others, to show agreement of a point, just to acknowledge someone's point, then I think it's fine.

I usually try to model what the other people in the chat are doing, if you are doing something quite different than them, it is probably a bit rude.

I don't get that it's 'wankerish' behaviour. In a work message when its going back and forwards with eg dates/ arrangements and we get one that suits then lots of us just put a thumbs up.

I've just reread them all on my whatsApp and they don't seem PA at all - just a quick agreement on something businesslike. It doesn't feel right to heart all my colleagues (maybe the occasional one).

Surely it's no more "can't be arsed" than a single heart? No more effort is put into sending a heart 😂

It's fair to say it absolutely CAN be. It's quite something to completely deny the reality for any poster feeling it is used that way.

@BunnyLake yes agreed. It was through previous co parenting chats I started to feel the fuck you vibe with each 👍. 🤷‍♀️🤣. I find it's usually employed by those who struggle with honest articulation. It is difficult for many to just say they don't like something.

Work wise, I can see the value and intent would be different and it isn't a blanket get fooked at all.

In conclusion,context is everything.

It's not passive aggressive at all.

It's really not difficult to understand at all. The thumbs up emoji literally means "ok". If you wouldn't just respond "ok" to something said or shown to you in real life, then don't use a thumbs up emoji. If you would just say "ok" then a thumbs up emoji is fine. It's really not hard.

If you can't be bothered to comment on something, at least do a heart emoji. It still might miff someone who wanted more effort or engagement from you, but at least it's not just an "ok".

I read that recently too, checked with DD19 and she said it’s not true. She said it just indicates agreement, with everyone she knows.

I think it’s a generational thing.

Take heart OP. Proud at my new skill of using emoji, some years ago I sent my son in law a bottle of wine and aubergine emoji to thank him for dinner (moussaka). This is true. I wish it were not.

Bollox is it always passive aggressive - that just shows a lack of critical thinking!

It means I've seen their message but it doesn't need a big response and they can just glance at their phones and know I've got their text.

This.

Came here to say exactly the same 🤣

Is it? Bloody hell, it's all ridiculous!
Oh and I use 👍🏻 OP!

Can someone explain what ok I’ll bite followed by a response to a previous message means e.g. what the hell..stamp duty going up just when I’m thinking of buying a flat and I’m a working person
Reply
ok I’ll bite..the country needs money for the nhs so taxes have to go up.

Yes that’s how I use it. Same at work with colleagues.

However, it’s always suggested on here to be used as a pa response.

I’m quite happy with receiving and sending a thumbs up as meaning “great/fine/OK/will do/have done/thank you” depending on the context - and I’m hardly the most succinct person you could meet!

Eh?

I'm curious, what generation do you think uses it in a PA way?

Well I am dickish on a regular basis in my personal and business life. Its a quick way of confirming/agreeing or acknowledging something.

In my book its only dickish if someone is being rude or confrontational in which case its responding OK, I can't be bothered, you crack on!

What ??? I must have been living under a stone !