AIBU to not want to baptise my babies?

[TheMummyJade]

Hi! So basically, my eldest is baptised as per request of both sets of grandparents, because my husband and I both enjoyed growing up surrounded by people in the faith, and because my husband and I want to enrol him in the local Catholic primary school. However, we didn't when it came to our second son because we had both just been starting new jobs, moving into a new house, and were busy with two young boys. Now that I'm due with 3 babies, I don't think we'll have the time, or that we really need, to baptise them. Neither my husband or I are practising Catholics, however both of fathers are, and our mothers just think it would be nice for us to have them baptised. I also feel a bit silly if we were to have 4 out of 5 kids baptise and our second son isn't.
Thanks in advance Mumsnet, and thank you for all the love and advice on my last thread 😊

It wasn’t funny. It was a lazy stereotype.

Genuinely interested - please can you tell me the bit in the bible where it talks about baptising children to guarantee a place in heaven for them?
I don’t understand how a man made ceremony can change what god might decide.

Are there other posts from that poster to suggest that is what the poster intended? If so, I didn't see them, forgive me. But as a stand alone post there is nothing in that joke that a Catholic might not make themselves.

Yours,
another Catholic woman

wow triplets! Congratulations

No of course you don’t need to get them baptised but if you do, there’s no reason why your second baby couldn’t be done at the same time as the triplets

If you've had the first child baptised, then in all honesty any subsequent children should be baptised too. You are then treating all the children the same. To the best of my knowledge the majority of religious schools are over-subscribed and children of faith, who attend church regularly and are baptised will be given priority over those who aren't religious. The local faith schools in my area require a letter from the priest/vicar from your church, confirming your regular attendance, along with the admissions form! However, the choice to baptise should be solely yours, and not based on other family members opinions. I was baptised, it was common when I was born, but my son hasn't been baptised. My husband and I aren't religious, and we didn't marry in church. My attitude is, if my son wants to be baptised later in life, that's his choice.

Neither of my children are christened i thought It important to let them chose when they are old enough. They chose not to. And and my grandchildren aren't christened either.
If you are not practising Christians then I don't think you should do it.
It's certainly not the most important thing

@whyalltheusernames

And those who ask if God doesn't let unbaptised children in heaven? You don't believe in God or heaven? So what are you on about?

I grew up Catholic and attended catholic school.

I don't believe in god or heaven, but am interested in the logistics of religion.

So I wondered why someone would worship a god who wouldn't allow children into heaven if they hadn't been baptised.

Hence I asked the PP if that's what they believe.

You can ask questions about people's beliefs if you don't share them, it's not an unusual thing to do.

You don't have to baptise them to please anyone. Far better not to baptise them and leave their choice of religion, or not, up to them when they are are older. I didn't get either of my children christened (though its slightly more complicated in my country, because if you christen them then you can't take them out of religious lessons at school, and they are liable to pay church tax when they start working, so even more reason not to christen them for me but even in the UK I wouldn't)

I am a cultural catholic but haven't had my DC baptised because I could not stand up in front of my close family and congregation, in a place of worship, to say things and make promises with which I didn't agree or believe.
You should get them baptised if you wish them to be part of the church and its community for yourselves and your DC.Not having enough time is not a real reason. It only takes an hour or so and they can all be done together .

I interpreted it as lack of birth control rather than being with legs in the air.

It isn't funny the church's stance on condoms which has helped spread STI across developing nations.

Are there other posts from that poster to suggest that is not what the poster intended, and/or is Catholic and making an in-joke to offer the OP solidarity? If so I didn't see them, forgive me, and without that context it looks a lot like a lazy anti-Catholic dig.

@whathaveiforgotten you've stated you don't believe in God or heaven. So where do you believe you go when you are dead?

Why are you annoyed that people believe in a God and of a heaven, and that they need to be baptised to go to said heaven, and if you aren't baptised, you don't go?

Some faiths believe in reincarnation. I don't believe I will be reincarnated when I die. It's not my faith.

Well I hate anything to do with the Catholic church. In one way or another they have destroyed parts of my family. They are a hateful organisation that have spent hundreds of years covering up vile acts. I hate think I was in anyway touched by a priest.
Particularly against my parents wishes.
I want nothing to do with the church.

I believe that when we die that is the end of our life. That other people, our loved ones and those we met along the way, will remember us and hopefully share stories of us but that's it.

I'm not 'annoyed' that others believe differently at all.

I completely understand that people do believe in the afterlife and take great comfort from it. Many members of my family do and I think that's lovely.

My question was to try to understand how someone who does believe in god and heaven could worship a god that they believe wouldn't let unbaptised children into heaven.

Fair enough - only the poster can confirm the spirit in which it was intended, it just didn't seem obvious to me it was supposed to be nasty

I can understand your very justified anger with the Catholic Church (I’m Church of England not Catholic, but it’s not blameless with Child Sexual Abuse either).

The confirmation is an important stage for Catholics as, as a baby baptism happens to you and done with the parents blessing, which is why confirmation is when you have agency or choice to confirm your faith.

You haven’t and have rejected it. I’m sorry the church had been dark presence in your life, it shouldn’t have happened.

Some people believe that heaven is for people of faith.
Do you know what I believe as a Catholic? that we are all going to heaven as God is great and heaven is real. Regardless of whether you say you believe in Him or not. Everybody prays in their time of need.
So, no, I don't worship a God who won't allow unbaptised children into heaven.

What does annoy me is people openly putting down the faith, but then joining because the schools are good, or they can have a party, or relatives want them to have children baptised. Hypocrisy at it's finest.

Get them done in a batch. If you or they don't believe, then 'nothing' has happened -- but they'll fit in with family occasions more if they want to or when that's relevant. They'll have something to rebel against and question. And maybe an entire 'church family' spread around the world if they do decide it's for them to continue actively.

Everybody prays in their time of need.

No, they really don't. It's never crossed mind to pray at times of need. Would rather put my mind to something more practical, or reaching out to someone who could actually help.

Married to an atheist, we have had (many) times of need, I pray he doesn’t. How ridiculous why would someone who doesn’t have faith pray?

So, no, I don't worship a God who won't allow unbaptised children into heaven.

... and my original question (the post you quoted of mine and got annoyed about) wasn't directed at you, but specifically at the PP who implied that children who weren't baptised wouldn't be allowed in. That's why I tagged them in it.

I'm not sure why you picked on my comment tbh. It wasn't a question I directed at you and other people said similar to me.

Im glad to hear you don't worship a god who would condemn children, unbaptised or other. Not because I believe in god, but because I find it depressing there are people who do worship an entity they believe would be so cruel. I think it's utterly bizarre to simultaneously believe a god is loving but also believe he (she or they) would be so cruel.

Again, not directed at you because you don't share that belief.

Have a good day.

@whyalltheusernames

Everybody prays in their time of need.

This simply isn't true.

So, no, I don't worship a God who won't allow unbaptised children into heaven

Personally, I agree. I’d be giving that God an enormous swerve, thinking ‘what an absolute cunt’.

I am not sure why you are laughing. RC teaching is about baptism removing original sin. Look it up. Incorporates exorcism.

Please can you tell me where in the bible it says about children having to have a ceremony to ensure entry to heaven?