AIBU to not want to baptise my babies?

[TheMummyJade]

Hi! So basically, my eldest is baptised as per request of both sets of grandparents, because my husband and I both enjoyed growing up surrounded by people in the faith, and because my husband and I want to enrol him in the local Catholic primary school. However, we didn't when it came to our second son because we had both just been starting new jobs, moving into a new house, and were busy with two young boys. Now that I'm due with 3 babies, I don't think we'll have the time, or that we really need, to baptise them. Neither my husband or I are practising Catholics, however both of fathers are, and our mothers just think it would be nice for us to have them baptised. I also feel a bit silly if we were to have 4 out of 5 kids baptise and our second son isn't.
Thanks in advance Mumsnet, and thank you for all the love and advice on my last thread 😊

Sibling rivalry and all, 😂they may feel that you think the eldest is somehow more special than them.

Sorry, this is absolute nonsense. I and all
the eldest cousins were baptised/christened and not one of the younger siblings were. This is because the parents all pandered to grandparental pressure for the first and then decided that was just daft.

Not one of any of us thought it made someone special or better or more or less loved, and most didn’t even know whether anyone was or wasn’t.

DH’s family and some of my friends were in the same boat and again, never an issue.

Believe me, had there been the slightest leverage in using that for sibling rivalry, I would have exploited it to the full. My brother and I were savages if we could argue over something.

We have had a very explicit separation of the Catholic church and the state for over 300 years.

But not CofE. We have bishops in the House of Lords by virtue of the fact that they are bishops and nothing else. We have government funded CofE schools. It is fundamentally wrong.

Yes but that has nothing to do with this thread, which is about baptising children in the Catholic church, and whether that might be useful in terms of getting them into Catholic schools.

Yep. The historical context and the way in which the two groups have been treated in the UK since the C of E came into existence is very, very different.

If you are believers in the Christian faith, no matter how lapsed, then go ahead and have them baptized.

If not, don't.

I didn't christened my children even though I was brought up Catholic. My late husband was an atheist but said if I really wanted to he was fine with it but would not stand in the church and say something he didn't believe in. And frankly I thought it would be hypocritical to christened them, which is introducing them to the church, and say I will bring them up in the Catholic faith, as I knew I would not.
My mum went to mass every day. She didn't say anything about it at all.

@Sheri99

No one knows the time and place of disaster. The last thing you want to do is have a funeral of a child and realize you didn't make time for the most important thing in this world.

Do unbaptised children not go to heaven if they pass away then, in your belief system?

Your God is pretty cruel if that's the case, aren't they? I feel very sorry for you if you worship an entity who could be so cruel.

what??

Huh? Does god refuse entry to non baptised children? Honestly, it’s nonsense like this that stops me going to church.

Let the children decide for themselves when they are old enough to understand what it's all about. I'm not in favour of signing chidlren up to things while they are babies and have no choice.
And don't heed the doom-mongers with their 'what ifs...'

She said separation of church and state, which still hasn’t entirely happened in the UK. There are 26 bishops that still sit in the upper house of government, the House of Lords, to this day. Moreover, Catholic schools are subsidised by you and me, the tax payer. Time to get all religion out of all social institutions, like education and governance.

Yes, it is really wrong. And we have government funded Catholic schools, paid for by our taxes, and yet, if not a practicing Catholic, you wouldn’t be able to get your child in. You would think it’s 1624 and not 2024, when you really think about the religious presence, in our everyday legislature and education.

Meh. I went to a Catholic school (I'm not a Catholic) and it was not really any different to any other kind of school. I can't get worked up about this.

My parents didn’t baptise me as a child because they wanted me to be able to make my own choice. Well I wish they had baptised me because it’s much more of a hassle as an adult and being baptised doesn’t mean you have to grow up to be Christian as an adult - there’s no downside to the child for being baptised.

No real upside either and it can never be undone, even if you change religion or follwo none you will always have been baptised into Christianity and thats not a decision I think people should make for their children

If there's one thing the presence of Catholic schools in England doesn't say, it's 1624...

If it will helpful for getting them all in to catholic school then I would do all 4 together

Well you are taught religion as a fact, in a Catholic school, (regardless of whether or not you personally believe) at the expense of the UK taxpayer. In 2024, the public purse should not be funding such schools.

What do you mean relating to children with ESOL? I know plenty of Eastern European children who have been baptised in the UK as babies, and both the parish church and the local RC school are very welcoming to families from different ethnicities and backgrounds.

My kids aren't baptised. I'm not sure I know any that are actually. I don't know anyone who attends church at all.

It feels like you did it partly for the first one because both sets of grandparents felt it the right thing. Obviously you enjoyed your childhood under that faith but if you're not actively practicing the religion it would be pointless to do so really.

If you decide you want to be more involved in the church, traditions and faith then by all means do it. But as it stands it seems like you're not deeply religious. Nothing wrong with that of course.

Why not just allow your kids to choose their own spiritual path when they feel they are ready?

Hardly my point .

Hardly my point .

I am a middle child and the only one who is not christened. I don’t care as I think it is all nonsense but I do occasionally like to pretend that I am hard done by as my parents forgot to get me christened.