AIBU to not want to baptise my babies?

[TheMummyJade]

Hi! So basically, my eldest is baptised as per request of both sets of grandparents, because my husband and I both enjoyed growing up surrounded by people in the faith, and because my husband and I want to enrol him in the local Catholic primary school. However, we didn't when it came to our second son because we had both just been starting new jobs, moving into a new house, and were busy with two young boys. Now that I'm due with 3 babies, I don't think we'll have the time, or that we really need, to baptise them. Neither my husband or I are practising Catholics, however both of fathers are, and our mothers just think it would be nice for us to have them baptised. I also feel a bit silly if we were to have 4 out of 5 kids baptise and our second son isn't.
Thanks in advance Mumsnet, and thank you for all the love and advice on my last thread 😊

@HoppingPavlova Wow that sounds so incredible, and must make the event so much more special 🥺☺️

I strongly believe that it should only be done when they are adults and capable of choosing for themselves. However, only you know how you feel about it and whether this is the hill to die upon. For me it would be.

I didn't say it was impossible but statistically the numbers are very low. The reasons are varied but a big part is the societal disdain for religion which is evidence on this forum.

"The most important thing in the world"
Come on🙄

I don't think it's really because of "societal disdain". Far more likely in my view that adults just evaluate the evidence and make a decision accordingly. It's obviously much harder for people to be objective if they have been indoctrinated as children.

Whilst I don't believe in the Indoctrination of children. (Should be when you feel faith as an adult).
I do, however, feel that as you have had 1 baptised already you should get the others done as well.
Sibling rivalry and all, 😂they may feel that you think the eldest is somehow more special than them.
Sorry, I never made the rules in sibling competitiveness. But it is a "thing"and can be emotionally powerful for some.

Bollocks.

Read the scriptures. A person has to BELIEVE that Jesus is who he claimed to be and be baptised by water and the Holy Spirit in order to receive salvation. John 3.

An infant cannot comprehend Christ's deity, therefore infant baptism is pointless in this regard.

There is nothing in scripture that specifically mentions infant baptism. We have to trust that God is just, and wouldn't allow the condemnation of somebody that is incapable of understanding Christ.

You realise you can still have a christening for your second son, right? That it doesn’t have to be 4 out of 5?

Get all 4 done together, they are not locked in to catholism until confirmation so I wouldn't worry about that too much

Three pregnancies. Nothing particularly eye-brow raising about that.

You’re not ‘locked in’ at all, at any stage. Are you confusing Catholicism with Scientology?

I don’t believe that an unbaptised child is any less loved by God. But I know that hospital chaplains are often called upon to baptise very tiny and unwell babies from the NICU, because it can be of some comfort to the parents, whether or not in other circumstances those same parents would have chosen baptism for their children.

For a lot of people getting a child baptised or Christened really isn't "the most important thing in this world"
And if I was in the awful position of organising a funeral for my child I would be unlikley to give a shit if they had been splashed by water at some point by a bloke in a robe.

I’m not sure bollocks is a great way to describe other’s beliefs! The tradition of infant baptism is based on Godparents making promises on behalf of the child. The Church of England liturgy for Baptism reminds the congregation that a child is being brought into the community of the church, and everyone there makes a declaration of faith.

I respect other churches whose tradition is adult baptism - for people whose faith is similar to mine, confirmation is when you make your baptismal promises for yourself, and that is something that only an adult or older teenager is seen as able to do.

No I'm a lapsed Catholic, you used to be able to leave officially but it involved paperwork and a visit with the Bishop. It's not possible to get get your records removed now as far as I know but we just stop going to mass .

For anyone who is interested

I believe in credobaptism not paedobaptism so no, I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all.

I think people who aren’t actually practicing need to stop supporting the Catholic Church. If you don’t even believe in their teachings, I can’t understand why you would support an organisation with their awful legacy of abuse.

But all the records say is that this person was baptised and/or confirmed and/or married by Catholic rites, if you were. There is no ‘membership’ register, or formal process for leaving, any more than there’s a formal process of leaving, say, Hinduism. It’s not like leaving a job where you get a P45.

I was baptised and confirmed, and educated in convent schools from 3 to 18. This doesn’t mean I’m not an atheist, though a culturally Catholic one, who remembers all the words to all the prayers and the obscure hymns, the vestments for liturgical seasons, saints’ days, the catechism etc.

And I’m not a ‘lapsed Catholic’, I’m a contented atheist who was brought up Catholic and stopped believing.

I'd take a practical approach of treating DC the same, so as one is done I'd do the rest as a job lot

Oh I agree I'm no more Catholic, but there is a record of all the sacraments I've received. I just don't like the idea that the numbers of members are so skewed, it's why I urge anyone who isn't practicing to put no religion on the census so those numbers are what is reflected. So many people here blindly check the Catholic box

I’m not sure bollocks is a great way to describe other’s beliefs

I'd say "bollocks" is the perfect way of describing this particular belief.

Agree with this. It's nobody's decision but yours and your husband's. Do what feels right to you.

Get it done - so you can have your choice of school.

Totally cynical, and totally wrong. Time we had separation of church and state.