Neighbour is a convicted paedophile

[Abitlosttoday]

I have just found out that our close (proximity-wise) neighbour has been given a suspended sentence for looking at peadophilia online. His address, in the news report of court proceedings, is not our street but an address in a different town. However, it is him (there's a clear photo) and he has been living on our street with his partner for at least a year. I saw him a few days ago when he pulled his two dogs out of the way so I could pass with my kids. They're 4 and 7. (The kids, not the dogs!) I don't know what to think. It's a small street. I can see into his living room from mine. It's a small town too. His partner is my SIL's sister's boss. I don't know their names though - that's the level of familiarity. Just because my head is battered with half-term and I am exhausted, aibu to ask what your thoughts would be about this situation. All his crimes were online but some of the images were the worst sort.
We only know because another neighbour has a distant work connection to the guy. He may believe he has some anonymity here. I cried when I heard. I'm angry too. My head hurts, but that may also be because of this endless school break!

I know they have rules about how close peadophiles can live to schools, but surely it would be nigh on impossible to dictate that they can’t live near children? Unless you’re in an old persons home, every street is going to have kids on it.

There are thousands upon thousands of families living 50m from a paedophile but helpfully you know who yours is. I think the suggestion to call the NSPCC is a good one, they have some excellent resources around keeping safe, and I would mention it to the kids school too as presumably there will be other kids in the school community who live locally.

At least you know who the local peado is, i mean most of us will be living on a street with one , convicted or otherwise, and not even know

Everyone who views online child abuse is a danger to children by viewing you are supporting those that commit the abuse they are part of the abuse

very very few may be considered vulnerable and to have been coerced into this and there will be a pattern of other coercion

I work with child sex offenders and I have yet to meet a child sex offender who isn't extremely manipulative some will claim they are damaged from the abuse they suffered or cant help it that they are only attracted to children or make claims they are researching for a book they are writing (remember that one...), it was accidently sent to them, or the child led them on and trapped them and so on the excuses never end

I know what is meant by child sex offender and calling someone a paedophile. The op makes it clear that he was convicted for viewing child sex abuse. Its irrelevant if is he only attracted to children or not that is for professionals and courts to manage (often extremely poorly) he is still a danger towards children for the op she is understandably very uncomfortable him living so closely. And in my experience of working with child sex offenders I understand her concerns (sorry op I would like to be more positive and do not want to add to you worrying more)

and to answer the question as to why they do it, because they want to. they might feel awful after (or claim to) or they may get sexual satisfaction or revulsion but they make the choice to knowing the suffering that child/children have endured

Our neighbour defended her husband who had abused their children and other children in the past. Insisted he was innocent, even though he was found guilty (and her own son had committed suicide because of it). 🤷🏼‍♀️

Thanks for your reply. I don't have your professional experience, but this was my thinking too.

It's not . It's a fact .

Contact police and ask. I would be very concerned too.

Yeah, it’s really common and doesn’t surprise me at all. I came across loads of them who had wives visiting/sending them money and sorting things for when they got out.

Crazy.

Can it be sent by accident or maliciously to ruin someone ? It's my understanding that if it is sent to you , even if you don't open it you can be convicted ? I remember a woman who was convicted who thought she was downloading adult porn videos and child stuff was mixed in with it unbeknownst to her . Also the policewoman whose sister sent her something dodgy . Because she had it on her phone even though she didn't ask for it she was convicted and lost her job . I'm not making excuses but sometimes I do think innocent people can be convicted. I am so very careful about clicking on links and opening spam .

This is true .

The police woman you mention won her appeal and is back at her job now.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-57501764

I think it was mean of your neighbours not to warn you

Ok, really simplifying it (yet being oddly specific) as an example. A pattern I saw a lot (yes, there is an element of having an excuse etc) was as follows; Person is going through a difficult life experience, uses common self-soothing tools, such as masturbation, drugs and alcohol to ‘feel better’. Life spirals, use of those tools increases, the porn they always used no longer gives them the thrill it once did (same as any other addiction), they start looking at harder stuff (on legitimate sites still at this time), they look for more, they find sites that, although they are legal, allows pop-ups for things that are close to the line… the use of alcohol and certain drugs (cocaine particularly) acts as a disinhibitor, and the once sturdy boundary of not watching extreme porn is overcome…they click on those links, they take them to other sites with access to more extreme images… and down the addiction rabbit hole we go. It’s the extremity of the image that gives them the thrill. The shock factor. Not the child, if that makes sense. Some people have images of beasitiality, it doesn’t mean they’re sexually attracted to your poodle. Also, these links often lead to sharing forums where they don’t necessarily know what is in the files they’re receiving. There could be 300,000 images of adults engaging in consenting acts, and 50 category A images that they’ve never actually accessed.
This is just an example of how people can end up on the register without actually being a viable risk to children. Please don’t think I am minimising these offences. Demand does increase the supply, and indeed, some people convicted of online offences are absolutely a risk to children in real life. But my point was, look after your children, be vigilant of ALL behaviour around your children. That man might be the least risky man in your child’s life at this moment in time.

Considering the amount of extreme acts available to view on mainstream sites, then the acts these men are seeking out on these sharing site that show adults must mean rape, torture, snuff etc.

If anything that makes them a grave danger to female adults as well as children.

I see quite a few “this can happen accidentally” posts.

Does anyone know someone personally who has inadvertently ended up with child abuse images or videos on their phone or computer?

It's sickening that people like this live amongst us. I wish it was safe for children to go out and play, but our justice system doesn't impose harsh sentences for such despicable people
I personally wouldn't let my children out my sight with a monster like that living so near. If your in a position to move away from him I would. I hope everyone in the area with children is aware of the risk he poses

It is safe for children to go out and play. How many children do you think get abducted in the UK from strangers?

Kids are far less safe in their own homes from trusted adults than they are playing outside.

Too many
It won't let me reply, but there has been an increase in perverse and evil behaviour in society. I have witnessed something horrific that wasn't reported in the news, not everything is reported on. I have learned to trust no one. So my young children will not be going out unsupervised until I am confident they are old enough to recognise risk.
If I knew a pedo lived close enough to see into my house, I probably couldn't stay there to be honest. I'd find it too unsettling.
As for kids being less safe in their own homes, that's not true if your a good parent. I have a very small circle of people I'd trust alone with my child. All family. I didn't let anyone look after my eldest alone until he could speak clearly enough. There will always be risk in life but I do what I can to keep my child safe. Strangers are always more of a risk

Believe me, strangers on the street are absolutely not more of a risk of sexually abusing your children. They just aren't

The person that will do that is your husband/brother/father/uncle/granddad...or the family friend. Basically the trusted adults are the absolute maximum risk to your child.

Strangers are always more of a risk

That simply isn't true.

2/3rds of CSA are perpetrated by family members. Strangers don't have access to your children unless they straight up abduct them which is unusual. It's the people you trust enough to give access to your children that have the opportunity to abuse them.

Of course they don't, it's a deliberate act to find it.

Even legitimate sexual image/video sites will block certain terms (even though they wouldn't host the material).

You can't stumble across it.

You either look for it, ask for it, or are in Comms with people who have access - who wouldn't send it unsolicited.

And it's pretty fucking poor form to suggest that the mother of the child that was raped by the father of the child wasn't a good parent.
That's like saying you're bad parent because a drunk driver knocked your child over in the road, but as you're suck a great parent you would have somehow magically known the car was going to come screaming round the corner and your child would have been safe because you're a good mother. As though somehow it's the mother's fault if the children are abused.

If you actually knew anything about CSA, you'd know the parents are often groomed alongside the children.

These fuckers prey on vulnerable women and children.

He might have a twin brother or something? If you don’t know his name you don’t know for definite it’s him?

See my previous comment re. Eastenders plotlines and the fact that I am not living in one.