DH refers to himself as my “Dad”

[GingerBreadGinge]

Weird one! DH has for a long time referred to himself as “Daddy” when it comes to me. (Not sexual!)

For example if I need his help he will say “Your Daddy will do it” “Daddy do” or “Let your Dad help you” or “Your Father will fix it” He keeps saying he should really stop calling himself my Dad.

Is this infantilising? We do have kids so he is used to being “Daddy” but he refers to himself as my “Dad”

AIBU? Is this weird?? He also says “Good girl!” When I’ve done a task etc. Or “You’re a good girl!” I’m in my forties!! DS has even begun to correct him saying “She’s not a girl, she’s a woman” Etc.

AIBU?

OP, I got interested in Joni Mitchell and forgot the point... My first thought was that you could act up when you're in bed together, be his naughty little girl, see how he likes it. But on reflection, he'd probably like it a lot and you'd then have to live with the consequences of knowing you're with a pervert, and wondering what the heck he gets up to when he isn't under supervision. People are allowed fantasies, of course, and he might never take it further than his dreams. I don't know. It doesn't sound too good.

Yeah I do think that he thinks he is being funny when he says it.

I C K

I doubt he was doing it when they first met. Things evolve over time.
Why are you so accusatory?

🤭

Stop shagging him.

To think you find this funny says a lot about you.

Whoaa ok 😄

@RachelGreep87 is 100% right. This is sexual

I'm good thanks!! Not for me

UGH. That made my skin crawl.

OP, does he do this when you're around other people as well? Family, friends, in public ...

It really does come across as him dragging you into some DD/lg kink without consent (and if around others, those people as well). Time for a serious conversation.

No, only when it’s just me and him.

That's something, at least. I hope you get through to him.

Even if it wasn’t weird, you don’t like it. That’s the important bit - that you don’t like it. If your partner is doing something you don’t like (weird or not), you ask them to stop.

Did you feel unable to do that without confirmation that people agreed with you?

Beurk.

Good girl? Daddy's a kinkster! 😂

I highly doubt he did this before they were married, and maybe not before kids. It's when you're really trapped that the mask drops.

Grim

Ok this is possibly the weirdest thing I’ve read on this forum, and that’s a pretty high bar.

I couldn’t get past it being a kink thing, sorry. Absolutely a power move too. Utterly gross. How on earth do you have sex with him.

I don’t know how you feel about this.. but you can leave him over it if you want to.

Everyone's over-reacting. Man's a bit kinky, that's all. The whole Daddy/good girl thing is very common in kink, but people usually discuss it first. OP should tell him to knock it off if she doesn't like it.

Or she could put the blindfold on and explore a whole new side to their relationship! 😂 Sounds as if he'd be delighted. 🤭

YANBU. It’s weird.

It’s disrespectful and IMHO sexist. If he doesn’t say it in front of other people, then (a) he knows it must sound inappropriate/odd and (b) it shows he’s able to not say it. So, if he knows how it makes you feel, there’s no reason for him to keep doing it. Unless he wants to. Brushing it off as a joke is deflecting.

There may be some deep-seated explanation, even he hasn’t considered. Is your father alive? If so, what sort of relationship do you have with him? Could your DH subconsciously be trying to fill a perceived need in you? What’s his dad like? Could his dad have spoken to his mother like that and he’s repeating learned behaviour?

Whatever the reason, you can only ask him to stop on the basis it’s inappropriate and disrespectful. If he won’t, you need to let him know it’s a deal-breaker, as it would be for lots of women. If he still does it, I’d say that’s pretty concerning.