DH refers to himself as my “Dad”

[GingerBreadGinge]

Weird one! DH has for a long time referred to himself as “Daddy” when it comes to me. (Not sexual!)

For example if I need his help he will say “Your Daddy will do it” “Daddy do” or “Let your Dad help you” or “Your Father will fix it” He keeps saying he should really stop calling himself my Dad.

Is this infantilising? We do have kids so he is used to being “Daddy” but he refers to himself as my “Dad”

AIBU? Is this weird?? He also says “Good girl!” When I’ve done a task etc. Or “You’re a good girl!” I’m in my forties!! DS has even begun to correct him saying “She’s not a girl, she’s a woman” Etc.

AIBU?

No, not weird at all! 😱

I’m still here everyone, just settling the youngest in bed. Will try and reply to everyone now. Will definitely address this next time DH says it. I did question whether it was weird or if I was just reading too much into it but clearly not!!

Unless he is only doing it in front of your very young children (and calling you Mummy), that is super weird and actually pretty gross.

“DS, Daddy is going to help Mummy with tea now” - fine.

”Little girl, your Daddy’s going to run you a bath”

It is sexual or power play. Or both. Start to babytalk to him. While talking dirty. During intimate moments.

He may be referring to his relationship with your son when he is addressing you.

Regardless it has to stop. If you feel it would help him to understand why not show him this thread after letting him know you were keen to find out how other women would feel & if you are justified in thinking it's unacceptable.

OMG that would give me the serious ick!
Patronising
Infantalising

Just fucking wierd

That would need to stop pdq or it woukd be the death knell of our relationship

I feel like referring to you as mom when kids are around is normal enough. But speaking about himself as a third person to an adult is odd and calling yourself daddy in third person just takes it to another level.

I call DH daddy in front of the kids as in, Daddy it's Xs bedtime now isn't it. But never when we are alone.

I do call refer to him as “Daddy” in front of the kids and he says “Mammy” etc but this is him referring to himself as MY Daddy/Father “Your Father/Daddy will sort it/Daddy do/Let your Dad fix it for you” He makes references that it’s weird that he says it and he should probably not say that but still does it.

If there are consequences to his saying it, maybe he'll be more motivated to break his habit (assuming he's not just using that as an excuse to pacify you). I'd tell him, when it's just the two of you, that you find this weird habit a massive libido killer. If he continues with it, he should expect a noticeable decrease in your level of attraction to him (and all that comes with it).

Look it’s weird op. But up to you if you can tolerate it or not. Doesn’t sound like you can… So what next?

This is sexual, without a doubt.

Do you have a daughter in your household?

No, only sons.

It's creepy, but not as bad as "Baby" being used in every second pop song for the last 50 years.

Maybe he wants you to call him that in bed op?? 😄

The sexual side of it wouldn't bother me tbh 🤭☺️ but doing throughout the day is WEIRD x

Great song.
'Daddy' was in use for 'partner' (or even 'man') by hippies, I recall. They're even older than me, and we didn't see things the way they are seen today. There were plenty of 'ick' songs, though. Classic - Gary Puckett and Union Gap, 'Young Girl'.

OMG what a weirdo. Yuck. I couldn't put up with that. I'd have to dump him.

Yes, what next, OP? What are your options? I guess you could repeatedly tell him - each time they happen - that these 'Daddy' comments are weird and you're finding him less and less attractive as man and as a partner the more he does it. He seems to think he's being funny so a more light hearted/subtle response from you may not make much impression.

On the plus side, does he prepare all your meals, do your washing, tidy up after you...?

still gross

Yuck what a fucking weirdo he is! Why does he do it - have you asked him!

I wish!

My friends OH refers to himself as daddy exactly in the way you describe. He’s 20 years older than her and it’s fucking gross and embarrassing. He’s also an abusive cunt as well but this bit obviously doesn't apply to you. It’s a control thing for him, infantilising her and over inflating his own sense of self worth and importance. Makes me cringe to the depths of my soul. Repulsive. 🤢 🤮

I think I’d find it less weird if it was sexual, and I hate the thought of that too