DH refers to himself as my “Dad”

[GingerBreadGinge]

Weird one! DH has for a long time referred to himself as “Daddy” when it comes to me. (Not sexual!)

For example if I need his help he will say “Your Daddy will do it” “Daddy do” or “Let your Dad help you” or “Your Father will fix it” He keeps saying he should really stop calling himself my Dad.

Is this infantilising? We do have kids so he is used to being “Daddy” but he refers to himself as my “Dad”

AIBU? Is this weird?? He also says “Good girl!” When I’ve done a task etc. Or “You’re a good girl!” I’m in my forties!! DS has even begun to correct him saying “She’s not a girl, she’s a woman” Etc.

AIBU?

Agree with other posters - he’s got a Daddy kink, or some kind of power/domination kink, that he’s just doing in your day to day life. Either testing the waters or just not approached it in the bedroom yet.

That sort of thing should be absolutely nowhere near your children, and shouldn’t be happening at all if you’ve said no to it.

Well this has made me shrivel up like a dried walnut

That's completely gross. How haven't you asked what the fuck is wrong with him?

Probably.
I never heard of "Daddy do" or anything like this.
😳
My husband is three decades older.

Yes! Tell him to cut that shit out.

Well what is he like with it in sex?

Do you have a plan with how you want to deal with this?

.

This is concerning. Really, please tell him you don't like it, and that you don't appreciate being treated like a child.

Do you think if you hit him over the head with a saucepan every time he said it he'd get the hint?

I refer to my husband as daddy in front of the kids- ie 'daddy can you get DS a drink please' but that's only because when DS was 2 he started calling my husband by his name, copying me 😂 we absolutely do not do it once they are in bed!

I would refer to my husband as daddy if our son needs him for something but aside from that Jesus no.

I couldn’t tolerate this at all. Tell him to stop it’s creepy and disturbing. If he didn’t stop he’d be sleeping in a different room and then a different house.

😂😂😂😂 this!

OP, this is not normal, not funny and actually quite disturbing.
Aside from the obvious concern with this, are you in a controlling relationship generally?

My best friend calls me his Mammy! He says I always look after him. 🤣

Ugh. My aunt used to refer to her husband as 'father' as in 'I need to go fix lunch now for father', but she had five kids and I think it was just how she was used to referring to him. Her husband certainly didn't refer to himself that way. They were both born 1910s as well so of the time too.

This is absolutely gross.

it kind of suggests he likes the whole daddy daughter sexual fantasy thing. Really hoping not. Has he ever tried to role play in Sex?

I just couldn’t feel safe around this man I’m afraid.

also how fucking patronising and infantilising.

I would have told him to fuck off the first time I ever heard it, what has kept you quiet up until now? Have you felt unsafe around him? If it raised red flags before, why not address then?

hmm. I often call my husband daddy (not sexuallly), often on the phone even when not referring to the children. idk why

My grandparents used to do this, calling each other mum and dad so the kids would do it... I'm guessing this isn't that.

Or just shout MUMMY DONT every time

In theory I love the song Carey by Joni Mitchell — fab tune beautifully sung — BUT the chorus, repeated several times, goes:

Oh Carey, get out your cane (Carey, get out your cane)
And I'll put on some silver (I'll put on some silver)
Oh, you're a mean old Daddy
But I like you fine

And it gives me the ick every time and I have to turn it off. What was that 60s thing for amazing women to call their mediocre men 'daddy'? I hate it and I just can't forgive her for it.

Here it is.

Op, you are under reacting. You don't like it so you need to tell him firmly and clearly to stop. I would also ask him why he does it and make sure he does not wriggle out of answering. I would ask him directly if it's sexual because if by some very slim chance it isn't he ought to be embarrassed. I think the grimmest thing is that he gets to refer to you how he chooses even though he knows you don't like it and don't want him to. You need to stop treating it like a joke because nobody is laughing.