DH refers to himself as my “Dad”

[GingerBreadGinge]

Weird one! DH has for a long time referred to himself as “Daddy” when it comes to me. (Not sexual!)

For example if I need his help he will say “Your Daddy will do it” “Daddy do” or “Let your Dad help you” or “Your Father will fix it” He keeps saying he should really stop calling himself my Dad.

Is this infantilising? We do have kids so he is used to being “Daddy” but he refers to himself as my “Dad”

AIBU? Is this weird?? He also says “Good girl!” When I’ve done a task etc. Or “You’re a good girl!” I’m in my forties!! DS has even begun to correct him saying “She’s not a girl, she’s a woman” Etc.

AIBU?

Your examples are nothing like the OP's though? So why are you pretending they are?

That's revolting! Yuck.

I want to vomit, what is he thinking?! Why would this be okay in his head?

So your husband talk to you like this when two of you do chores? "Your father is here to help change the sheets. You're such a good girl. Your father just put on the new pillow case. Be a good girl and say thank you to daddy". Horses for courses and all that I guess.

I’m sorry but I would also agree it’s definitely sexual and I’d think it’s either linked to some abuse, or he’s into some really weird stuff as it’s a really bizarre power dynamic to get thrills from.

I’d almost guarantee if you stumbled on whatever he searches/ watches on his personal devices you’d be in for a shock.

You have got the context completely wrong, the OP isn't talking about those scenarios and yes you are definitely fucking odd 😳

OK, in the cold light of day, I'm seeing another meaning here, one more benign. When you ask him to do something, and he replies the way you described, is it his way of saying that he reckons you could do it yourself and he feels like a dad, fixing stuff for you?

Me - Do you mind taking a look at the washing machine?
Him - Your Father will sort it (meaning him)
(or) - Your Daddy will do it. Say thank you Daddy. Etc.

Doesn't explain the good girl stuff though.

If you had long hair and a beard, you might call someone Daddio. It implied someone who knew something, or had something you wanted. Women seemed to stick to Daddy. But I'm not an expert, I was just a child, watching.

Yuk!!!!!! Is it the 60s?

😬🤢🦵🚪

😂😂😂😂😂😂

Oh dear this is a massive turn off. You need to tell him to stop doing it as its weird!

Jesus this is awful - why are you with this man

You can’t have an adult relationship with someone as confused as your DH seems to be. Can you?

I definitely don’t see it as a sexual thing. For example, he says it in the way of “Your Dad has fixed it for you” or “Your Father has sorted it” He does make reference to the fact that he probably shouldn’t be saying it and that it is weird.

He has a “oddball” sense of humour.

Other stuff he says that I’ve pulled him on and our son pulls him on -

He says jokingly with a big smile in his face - “I own you” and “wives are property”

I obviously pull him up on saying such things, it’s odd, he doesn’t genuinely believe that, however he says deliberately inflammatory statements to get a rise out of me. He’s “joking” around when he says it. Tells me not to be so serious etc.

It would be a bit odd if he said, "your husband has fixed it for you," but at least that would be accurate.

If he’s thinking of his sexual partner like he’s your dad then it is sexual.

This is a wind up surely? That is beyond creepy, and a massive ‘ick. What a weirdo. Why have you allowed that for even a second saying? People are odd….both parties.

😂

There's definitely a sexual undertone and power play here that he's getting off on.

He does make reference to the fact that he probably shouldn’t be saying it and that it is weird

Yet he still stays it?! He knows its weird and he's seeing how long you will tolerate his kink for.

Anyone who fetishes grown adult women as young girls are just grim, whether that's referring to themselves as Daddy or grown women dressed as schoolgirls for fancy dress.

You'll get accused of kink shaming but none of that is normal.

I don't even know how you've managed the relationship this long or even had sex with him

This is absolutely a kink. The Daddy thing is a kink, it doesn't matter it doesn't happen during sex, men pay women to let them pretend they are Daddy/daughter, or Daddy Step Daughter, I shit you not.

The other things you've just described are a power/control thing too.

He sounds a wrongun.

None of this makes him sound less of an arsehole, op.
He sounds both peculiar and very nasty.

Verrrrry odd .... I'd have to put a stop to it.

Is your dad still alive? I'd point out it's quite hurtful (even aside from the ick).