To not agree with dh that 160 is extortionate for a food shop for 4 adults?

[Fadedchintz]

I'm recovering from Covid and while I was ill dh and the dcs (over 18, one on gap year and working part time, one here temporarily for a fortnight) did the shopping and cooking, all good. Over the last 10 days they've used up a lot of things. Went shopping yesterday and spent 90 in Aldi and then 70 in Tescos - dd is gluten free so can't get that in Aldi plus there are some branded things we like. I also spent 15! on olive oil which was extortionate but that was 2 litres from Aldi. I use it for cooking and it will last ages. No alcohol, some dog food and that shop will feed 4 for the rest of the week for breakfast lunch and dinner. Lots of things to stock the freezer, chips, peas etc. Tinned Tom's, baked beans, ketchup (both so expensive now - should move to heinz dupes and will do in future). Lots of fruit because I've been so ill and want to eat healthily. Washing powder, flash bleach cleaner (dogs!)

Anyway, dh looked at the joint account and was really shocked and slightly judgemental. Told me we really need to rein in our spending. I felt a bit like a naughty kid.

AIBU not to agonise over a 160 shop? I've meal planned and that is 6 good dinners, 6 lunches and breakfasts for a week. We never have takeaways. We also live a long way from the nearest shop so food needs to last.

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According to the office of national statistics the average food cost for a UK family is £63.50 a week. This doesn’t include cleaning products but on the basis of that yours does seem well over average.

I spend £80 a week for me and a 6yo so £160 sounds fine to me.

Tbf mine doesn't penny pinch and does know what things cost, although we do need to spend less. But he seems to have no comprehension of nutrition. I hate cooking, I hate thinking about food but I do seem to have an inbuilt sense of what a healthy diet looks like. Why don't men?

Bit off topic but just wanted to pop on to say aldi do stock gluten free items their gluten free crisps are lovely and half the price of tescos.

I think £160 sounds about right. We are a family of 4, 2 dc aged 11 and 13. Our weekly spend is £140 ish, and that's because dc1 buys lunch in school, if not it would be more. We spent £200 this week in tesco.

Me, DH, sons 26 & 23, all men have manuel/physical jobs.
I do a big shop when I get paid at the end of the month cleaning stuff, loo roll, toiletries etc that's at least £200, then weekly 100/150? More if we have people round, which isn't often to be fair.
The very odd time DH or eldest son comes shopping with me,the bill goes up significantly!! Which is why I don't take them to the supermarket/let them do the shopping on their own!!

I think it sounds absolutely fine, especially if there were a lot of 'cupboard staples' in there like the stock cubes etc.

I spend between €80 - €150 per week for 2 adults and 2 kids. BUT the kids are 2yrs and 3 months. No formula, just own brand nappies. So really most of that shopping is for 2 adults.

Hang on a minute though, if you haven't cooked recently because you were ill then your shop was replacing what DH and DS's used. He needs to look elsewhere if he wants to point the finger of blame.

@JustToBeMe I do my shopping online now but OMG whenever DH would come with me the shopping would be way more. Especially if we went to Lidl or Aldi and there were tools in the middle aisle

This is what I was coming on to say- feed him portions the size of his mums. Him:what’s this?? You: you said we should budget and shop like your mum so I’m feeding you dinner like your mum has. I thought you wanted to save money, you know thats how she does it.

This is bollocks and doesn't take into consideration the cost of things like oil. Nor the general store cupboard sundries that you don't buy every week.

I genuinely would like to see the methodology on that cos I do think it's grossly misleading.

Someone else is putting a pile of donations into the foodbank which aren't being taken into consideration, to get close to that as a number.

I just don't believe it.

Just did a shop and over £25 was on dog and cat food. £36 on wine (25% off six), £20 on laundry and dishwasher tabs...granted I don't buy the latter every week but there are weeks when I buy different items (toilet paper at £5.95, shampoo/conditioner at £6 etc) that I didn't this week.
You could get by spending less but could also spend way more!

But OP has four adults in the household. Average family won’t.

Plus she said the shop included store cupboard basics.

I don’t think £63.50 would allow me to feed my household for a whole week (breakfasts, lunches, and dinners) to everyone’s satisfaction. Do you know what the ONS includes in its average basket of shopping?

It costs me about £130/£140 a week for two adults and two young DC, so £160 for four adults seems very reasonable IMO.

Have you explained all this to him, with a flip chart if necessary and a chart showing the rate of inflation? It seems odd that he can’t get his head around the simple maths of a full shop costing more than a few bits

Your DH needs to appreciate you doing all that instead of criticising you. It’s a perfectly reasonable amount to spend, he’s living in the dark ages if he thinks it isn’t.

I do all the grocery planning, shopping and cooking. Very occasionally my DH will make a comment about what I have bought/spent. He gets a very steely reply and I have even told him that if he doesn’t STFU he’s doing it all instead. That works wonders.

We are 4 adults, two tweens, 3 dogs and a cat. Our is sometimes double that. It's literally out of control.

it sounds like you could save money easily by swapping to non-branded items, but it also sounds like you got a decent top-up shop!

Ha ha maybe I should.

Perhaps dh had a hand in working out that 63.50 average food shop cost.

This week on the menu:
Cottage pie half mince half lentils with leeks, carrots, onion in the pie and peas and green beans on the side
Pasta with spicy cream and chorizo sauce and salad, garlic bread for dh and ds
Vegetable curry and rice and dahl
Chorizo, kale and potato stew
Chicken with a green cashew sauce - never made this before, from Mob kitchen and could be a disaster but sounds nice
Then either pasta again with garlic cream cheese and tomatoes and salad OR a halloumi butter curry and rice depending on what's left/what people fancy.
Plus there's freezer stuff - chips, GF fish fingers etc

Breakfast: toast/aldi fruit and fibre/porridge/Greek yogurt with blueberries and honey

Lunches: leftovers/jacket poatoes/veggie soup/tuna salad/sardines on toast (only me, love sardines)/cheese omelette/cheese sandwiches/hummus and oatcakes

Oh and I do buy a few plastic pots of tescos green veg that you microwave and come with garlic butter because me and dd like them to top up our veg.

Not many sweet things tbh but there's a pack of biscuits, some hot chocolate and some ice lollies, plus there's always lots of Greek plain yogurt. Dd will probably buy herself some chocolate at some point, I dont buy it because I'll eat it. There's always toast and tea and coffee.

2 adults here, ours is always over £100 a week.

I always think the person not doing the shopping will always judge the other one, eg dh does the shopping and I’ll think it’s too much and be secretly thinking ‘he didn’t get x, y or z’ while he’s saying it cost a lot because I had to get cat food and washing powder. I come home with what I think is a good shop and dh will say ‘do we not have any x?’ how did it cost so much and I’ll say ‘but I had to get this, this and this!’ When I looked at it once we actually roughly spend the same!

He sounds like a bloke who doesn't know his arse from his elbow. He is out of his depth in understanding shopping essentials. Best thing to do is ignore him because you know you are right, if he persists say right, you do the shopping. He will soon realise he's out of his depth and revert back to being a human adult life passenger.

I'd have zero tolerance for any of that shit - tell him to wind his neck in. I really can't be doing with people who throw out criticism, then wander off, leaving it as your problem. He's got no intention of shopping and planning nutritious meals, so he gets no right to come out with all this 'we' need to cut down bollocks!

Make him go through the list and cross off anything he wouldn't have bought, then ban him from using any of those items - he'll soon see the need for olive oil etc!

We are a family of 4 - 2 adults, 1 toddler and 1 young child and I struggle to keep ours under £150 per week (Tescos and Aldi).

I meal plan and mainly buy own brand rather than branded, I also try to make snacks at home rather than buy stuff in. I would say I am generally quite careful but not overly so - if we fancy a nice joint of beef for a Sunday roast for example, I do buy without too much thought. We don't really drink alcohol but do get through lots of berries and various fresh fruits so that does bump up the cost. My weekly budget used to be £125 but that's not been enough for the last few months.

That also doesn't include any food and litter for our cats as we buy that elsewhere.

I think £160 sounds reasonable for your family. Perhaps your husband should have a go at meal planning and shopping and see how much things actually cost these days, I've noticed lots of things have almost doubled in cost.