To not agree with dh that 160 is extortionate for a food shop for 4 adults?

[Fadedchintz]

I'm recovering from Covid and while I was ill dh and the dcs (over 18, one on gap year and working part time, one here temporarily for a fortnight) did the shopping and cooking, all good. Over the last 10 days they've used up a lot of things. Went shopping yesterday and spent 90 in Aldi and then 70 in Tescos - dd is gluten free so can't get that in Aldi plus there are some branded things we like. I also spent 15! on olive oil which was extortionate but that was 2 litres from Aldi. I use it for cooking and it will last ages. No alcohol, some dog food and that shop will feed 4 for the rest of the week for breakfast lunch and dinner. Lots of things to stock the freezer, chips, peas etc. Tinned Tom's, baked beans, ketchup (both so expensive now - should move to heinz dupes and will do in future). Lots of fruit because I've been so ill and want to eat healthily. Washing powder, flash bleach cleaner (dogs!)

Anyway, dh looked at the joint account and was really shocked and slightly judgemental. Told me we really need to rein in our spending. I felt a bit like a naughty kid.

AIBU not to agonise over a 160 shop? I've meal planned and that is 6 good dinners, 6 lunches and breakfasts for a week. We never have takeaways. We also live a long way from the nearest shop so food needs to last.

Similar figures here. My shop is anywhere from £100-£200 per week these days depending on if it's a bigger restock like yours was or if we have to just get the fresher food elements. It is what it is.

I do a combo of Lidl, Aldi & Sainsbury's. I could do it for less by only buying absolute basics and the cheapest of everything but I reckon it'd save me maybe 15%. I already buy mostly own label, even ketchup and beans I don't buy branded.

We're not extravagant but groceries are more expensive these days and all supermarkets are similarly priced. I used to go to Aldi and spend 30-40% less than in Sainsbury's but not any more, the prices are now matched on many things.

Tescos is doing its usual pre Christmas thing of having barely any Club card offers on the shelves atm. Tbh I shopped at Waitrose a few weeks ago and by sticking to the offers and essentials range and yellow stickers I bought 3 days worth of food very reasonably, cheaper than Tescos!

We spend around £500-700 a month for 4 adults and a large dog which includes everything - bulk meat and household bits from costco, fortnightly oddbox and two weekly top up shops of £30 each. So £160 sounds about right for a stock up on household bits but too high for just a weekly food shop.

So he thinks you have magic store cupboards which full with tins, washing powder, spices etc? And then you just need fresh food?

It doesn't sound a lot for what you have bought. As he doesn't seem to ever do the big shop and probably hasn't even considered items like olive oil that are expensive but last ages (a bit like children when they live at home and are then shocked when they move out and realise the washing stuff etc doesn't just magically appear), I wouldn't pay heed to what he says.

Yeah, my DH complained once and now he is in charge of the shopping.
He is always pleased with himself when the shop is below £150 but then I ask if he has added loo roll, kitchen roll, washing powder etc and he never has... we also often run out of food because he will count the food in the fridge, place the order and then not consider that we will have eaten the food in the fridge before the order arrives <eyes empty milk shelf>

i’m guessing dh hasn’t gone shopping recently recently either.

YANBU these days, and more so where you have been sick and not topping things up as you probably do normally. Meanwhile they have been eating into the reserves and now everything needed buying at once.

It is shocking what an average family ship costs now, but that is hardly your fault.

He’s very out of touch. I mean yes if you’re prepared to survive (“survive” being the word) on cheap oven chips and frozen beige food then you can get it down slightly but to eat well, with some variety that’s a pretty average spend now - and not even extravagant. We are a family of 3 (one Ds aged 13) and we spend about £200 a week on groceries.

Go through the receipt with him and ask him what he would NOT have bought.

I think £40-50 per adult per week is reasonable if this includes lunches for everyone. Obviously if you are also eating out and getting takeaways that would impact your weekly grocery spend.

I said I have the Aldi receipt if you want to look at it, which he didn't. Tescos one is on the app as I use scan and shop.

Yanbu. £160 isn't excessive if you have gluten free food and meat on the list.
My nice GF bread is about £3.

£160 for a big shop like that is perfectly reasonable, so ignore the criticism. However, there are plenty of very adequate own-brand items to substitute for brand leaders like Heinz and they cost a lot less. Why subsidise the advertising budgets of the big names?!

Because I actually prefer the taste of some of the branded things!

It's hard to give a standardised amount that is acceptable because it depends on variables like do you eat meat, did you have to buy washing powder capsules (so obscenely expensive) etc. You mention olive oil which is a killer - dearer than gold now! Gluten free will also raise your bill, and that can't be avoided unless he wants your dd to become very ill....

If your family can comfortably afford for you to be spending that much, it's fine. If not, DH may be right that you need to cut back, but that's a JOINT endeavour, and he will have to sit down and discuss it with you and be willing to sacrifice certain treats/food preferences too, not just tell you off like a naughty child.

I have known many men behave like this - they seem to think we ought to have the ability to create something out of nothing. I can do that when generating an argument - not so much food shopping!

Spend more than half that amount on the two of us (adults). We have a lot of meals from scratch but our dog food is usually bought seperately (online) and we get them extra fruit and veggies and treats.

Food is just way more expensive. We have a lot less left at end of month but I would rather have less 'fun' and be able to get my nutrition. I am DF and vegan so that piles on cost

We found that Lidl ketchup is actually far superior and has much higher tomato content. We don't buy anything else now.
Still on the lookout for decent non-branded mayo, though.

Best idea on the thread.

I think you’ve done amazingly, OP.

I think £160 for 4 people is amazing, our shop is loads more than that! I need to meal plan better...

Since prices have increased so much recently, I now aim to keep my weekly ocado shop to £160 for two of us and a cat, and I often do a small top up shop. I try to buy as much organic food as I can, so could reduce my spend if I had to. My husband used to buy his mums shopping until last year and I don't think he has any idea how much prices have gone up since then.

I'm the only one that likes mayonnaise so a pot of Hellmans lasts ages thank god.

Agree with others, £160 for 4 people is an average spend.

I regularly spend £80 a week for 2 of us. Which jumps to about £130 a week when my DD - who needs to eat gluten free - stays with us. GF food is frustratingly expensive (and tastes grim!)

I really don't mind good GF pasta, in fact I only buy GF pasta now and we all eat it. Tescos have a new posh GF pasta range and it's excellent. I agree the bread is minging.

I think it's reasonable. Food prices are through the roof. It depends what your family eat. If I do a week of home cooked fresh ingredient meals, drinks, snacks etc that's perfectly normal. I often do a few small shops as it's convenient for me and spend a similar amount.

@Fadedchintz that's like my dad
I live alone and spend £60pw with no top ups and he is "how much?!"
Yes dad but you go into Aldi daily and spend a tenner so you actually spend more!