To ask why money is sometimes quite a taboo subject to talk about with other people?

[ThisGreenDog]

I’ve noticed that money seems to be a bit of a no-go topic in many conversations. People can feel awkward or even offended if it’s brought up, whether it’s about salaries, personal finances, or even just the cost of things. AIBU to wonder why this is?

Is it a cultural thing, or does it come down to privacy? Maybe it’s about not wanting to seem like we’re comparing, or is it something else entirely? Do you find talking about money uncomfortable, or do you think it’s something people should be more open about?

Yes actually, I wouldn’t think anything of telling friends I’m due on on Thursday so feeling really bloated today or we’re ttc and we’re in the 2 week wait or I’ve got a wax this week. My friends and family wouldn’t think twice about sharing this information.

I think money is only a big deal if you make it one. To me it’s no more exposing than knowing someone’s birthday or where they’re going on holiday.

Don't see what the big secret is. Yes if the conversation came up 😂 they're not secretive topics either.

Too many people don't understand the difference between secrecy and privacy.

I work in a public post with salary banding, so anyone could look that up if they chose. Otherwise, I will not be discussing money.

Interesting question! We were taught/picked up that discussing money is vulgar, particularly when people show off about it. However I do discuss things like pensions and investments with friends because, in the same vein, that was never taught, and I'm personally sorry that it wasn't as it creates a kind of financial illiteracy, that has probably particularly affected women. Yet I still cringe to my core when someone in my office starts shouting on about how much her house cost and what amount she inherited from a dead parent; I just find that behaviour so crass.

Asking advice about money is socially OK, but talking too much about money (especially if you have it) can come across as bragging, especially to those without.

But... talking about money within a couple is SO important to make sure you are financially compatible. It's the cause of many relationship breakdowns if people don't have the same attitude towards spending, saving and sharing!

I think it's ok to let people know if you can't afford something, and people should be considerate when planning stuff to be mindful/inclusive of those in a group who cannot afford things.

e.g. going out for a group meal and not just splitting the meal equally between everyone. I had this once and went out with some friends in London. The bill between 9 of us was over £800. As I was still a student at the time, I knew my budget and only had a vegetarian main course and tap water. They then declared to split it 9 ways so my £18 share became over £90!! It felt really embarrassing having to speak out!

See if this had been my friend group we would have been celebrating with "Mr "look at my lovely pay rise."" One of my friends paid off their mortgage last year and we spent the evening celebrating and they spoke about all the travelling they were planning on doing with the now free money. I didn't find it crass at all.

To me it's personal. I'm self employed anyway and mine varies. It's also none else's business. I shop around, look for deals and budget because I want to get the most for my money. We've been abroad the last 2 years and have a nice home, kids are clothed, house heated and all well fed. I book fun activities in advance and take advantage of early bird type offers and the like. It doesn't mean I have endless amounts of money though and even if I did its up to me how I spend it. It only ever comes up when it's a big birthday for my parents, and one of my siblings decides we should all just chip in for a present. At that point though I have no issues in reminding her that we all earn different amounts (some of us full time others part time) and have different budgets.

I work for government in a salary banded role so anyone in the know can find out approximately how much I earn. I often do school careers days and the kids always ask how much I earn and I tell them.

I would love to have more financial conversations with my friends. Not so much how much they earn but about budgeting, savings and investments/pensions.

I have recently found out that DB (single but a parent of a 20yo) earns significantly more than me. I am surprised because he didn't get past high school education and has drifted between low paying jobs. Good for him BUT I also know that he bleeds my parents dry, they mention lending him money and in the recent past have paid for improvements to his house and holidays and spend far more on his son than they do on mine - driving lessons, clothes, etc. I am trying not to feel angry at his behaviour but I think my parents are a soft touch and he's happy to capitalise on it even when he can fully support himself and his son.

Manners are going down hill and people don't seem to be taught them anymore.

I was brought up not to ask personal questions because it's none of my business and such questions may embarrass someone.

Each to his own
One woman's vulgar is another's anything goes

It's crass and bad manners. The only types of people who bring it up usually wants to lord their finances over other people or they are on the scrounge for money.

Clearly, no need for people to get up uptight and secretive.

There is nothing uptight and secretive about not wanting to share one's personal business

It is none of your business how much anyone else earns or anything about their finances. Why are you so nosey?

Unless your intention is to help out someone who is in need of financial help it is nothing whatsoever to do with you.

Is this a serious question?

Because money = value.

Talking about how much you earn looks like bragging if it is more than others earn or risks making you feel worthless or embarrased if you are looked down on by others earning more.

It's just crass because it is really a dressed up way of finding out where you or others are in the social pecking order of life.

A pp said they down play what they earn to avoid jealousy. I do too.

I have a hobby which can become very expensive but the nearest place to me is in a fairly poor area so most of the people I'm sharing my time with don't have much money and mention not being able to buy what they need or having to go without to get it. The resources we buy are often very easy to borrow/steal from each other and I've often heard 'Ill just borrow one of Sandy's, she's rich she won't notice' so I also umm and ahh about whether I can afford it this week.

It helps that I'm not into conspicuous consumption, I probably have the oldest car out of everyone.

I know that if I had lots of money I would avoid the subject. Too much experience of vultures and cheeky fuckers.

I find it embarrassing when people talk about how well off they are, probably because my mum always said it was vulgar to boast about money!
I find it quite funny if someone gets something very expensive and feels the need to keep pointing it out. It reminds me of that awful Harry Enfield couple- considerably richer than yow!

All a matter of opinion really.

If someone doesn’t want to share their finances, why should they if it is not necessary?

Not necessarily😁 we have owned our house for a very long time, so it predates Zoopla etc…. Although as the houses around have all been bought and sold a few times, anyone looking would have a good idea of what sort of range it sits in. But no idea of what we actually paid.

Folks talk about finances in general, mainly for two reasons……….struggling to make ends meet, or desperate to know where they are in relation to peer groups, friends and possibly family.

Just curious @ThisGreenDog are you a chatbot/ using AI? Your tone seems curiously reminiscent of CHATGPT.

Discussing your finances can cause a whole heap of issues.
When close family or friends find out that you earn well or have a lot of money you become the family ATM. If you refuse to give them anything you become the devil incarnate .
Comparison and jealousy become the order of the day.

'Awkward', 'Offended', 'Uncomfortable'.

Have you considered that some people may feel none of these things, but instead consider their money and finances to be an entirely private matter?

I don't think they have any consideration at all which is why they're perplexed.