Arguing with an old lady

[MrsTurner3]

I was at an old run down shopping centre today. I had my 4 year old walking and my 1 year old in the buggy and needed to get the only working lift so I stood waiting for about 5 minutes for it for to up and down past my floor several times before it finally stopped for us. I had noticed an old (70s ish) lady stood waiting behind us and as the lift stopped and everyone piled out she edged her way around us to be first outside the door.

I should say here that I hate people who jump queues and think they are entitled to things more than other people. It's a big peeve of mine.

I just knew she was making her way to get in there first so I started pushing the buggy towards the lift and she turned around and said " Are you going up or down?" I said down (I'd pressed the down button outside). And she said "Oh well I'm going up, so we will go up first, and then you can go down". I was annoyed and replied "Well no, since I've been waiting longer we will go down first and then you can go up." She got in the lift and pressed the button for her floor and then said "Oh look, my floor has already been pressed by someone." She had a smug smile on her face.

Maybe I need some therapy to understand why people being smug and entitled triggers me so much - anyway as I'm getting into the lift I blurted out "You are so rude you know. First you push in front of me, then you tell me I have to wait for you to go to your floor and then I can go to mine, then you blatantly lie to get your own way and look really happy about it". She said that when I get to her age I will understand and I said something along the lines of "Just because you are old, it doesn't entitle you to get your own way and do whatever you want". She got out of the lift and laughed at me and walked off.

I wish I had kept my cool. I had to explain to my 4 year old that mummy was standing up to someone being rude and trying to get their own way, but I think the message of "don't be a pushover" will have been lost to the image of me just arguing with an old lady.

I know I could have done better, but am I totally unreasonable for not wanting to be a people pleasing pushover and for actually standing up to people, regardless of their age? If she had been feeling unwell or looked infirm and at least asked if we could go to her floor first rather than tell me, I'd more than likely have said yes.

Well, I think you were right.

But some people don't give a shit.

I’d have just stood in the lift doors so it didn’t move and told her it was going neither up or down with her inside it but then I do petty at nuclear level!

Of course you were in the right, and you were right to stand up for yourself. She sounds like an entitled twat. I'm guessing that one of these days her actions will prompt an argument with someone who says something much worse to her.

Oh yes! The perfect revenge.
Difficult with young children in tow, though.

Was she permanently wheelchair bound? If so, I imagine the frustration and possible anger at being unable to walk, along with being at the mercy of whomever is pushing you, must be incomprehensible to the able bodied.

If the red mist descended and I had kids with me I’d make it a game, ‘stand on that line and see how long you can stay there!’

Total strangers aren't obligated to pander to her whims though..? Demanding a particular space in a lift, table in a cafe... She made me cringe at times... When she gave her entire estate to her new carer I begrudged that woman not 1 k of the thousands she got. . She had earned it.. Though keeping all my family China was a bit greedy imo.

If you'd pressed down and then when you got it the lift it went up doesn't that mean it wasnt stopping for you? Isn't that how lifts normally work, if her floor was already pressed it never would have gone down whoever got in first

She sounds like quite funny 😂 love me a bonkers old lady who gives zero shits.

And her age is relevant because?

I am an old woman of 70 and I agree with you. Some old people are so entitled. So are some young people and some middle-aged people.

We were the only people waiting who had pressed the button. The up button wasn't pressed, so it could only have stopped for us. I don't know why it then went up to her floor first but I was bloody annoyed when it did.

I'm 77 and certainly would never behave like that old woman!

As I said, she had later said to me that when I get to her age I will understand, so yes, for context it is relevant.

Have you read the post? 🙄 “She said that when I get to her age I will understand” Entitled lady was the one to mention age, not the OP!
Edit: cross posted with OP

Wait until you are old!

I think you handled it perfectly op

I'm not sure what you think you've done wrong. From the way you've described it you told someone who was behaving rudely that they were behaving rudely. Unless it wasn't as you've described and you were actually yelling and swearing then what's the problem?

This kind of thing winds me up no end too OP - I have a very strong sense of “justice sensitivity” and it’s rage inducing when triggered.

However, I do have to have a little chat with my justice sensitivity part on occasion when it gets too rampaging because in the end the person that is being upset and having their day ruined is me and not the total bellend that triggered me… its easier said than done though!

I don't know, the whole thing is a lot of stress over nothing. There was only you and her, why does it matter who gets in the lift first? You were both going to be able to go into it anyway.

And who goes to their floor first, well in the end the lift decides doesn't it. When ever I have been in a lift and people get in everyone just presses their floor and you get what you get.

I have a strong sense of justice but for things that matter. I'm far too lazy to get into a slanging match with someone over who steps into the lift first and who presses the button first. The idea of getting that worked up over something so small is exhausting. I don't blame the lady for laughing you off and not getting sucked into the drama.

So are some young people. and some middle aged people.

to be fair, because of her comment "when you get to my age"

You were in the right. Don't stress. At least you didnt tell her to FO in front of the 4 year old.