Arguing with an old lady

[MrsTurner3]

I was at an old run down shopping centre today. I had my 4 year old walking and my 1 year old in the buggy and needed to get the only working lift so I stood waiting for about 5 minutes for it for to up and down past my floor several times before it finally stopped for us. I had noticed an old (70s ish) lady stood waiting behind us and as the lift stopped and everyone piled out she edged her way around us to be first outside the door.

I should say here that I hate people who jump queues and think they are entitled to things more than other people. It's a big peeve of mine.

I just knew she was making her way to get in there first so I started pushing the buggy towards the lift and she turned around and said " Are you going up or down?" I said down (I'd pressed the down button outside). And she said "Oh well I'm going up, so we will go up first, and then you can go down". I was annoyed and replied "Well no, since I've been waiting longer we will go down first and then you can go up." She got in the lift and pressed the button for her floor and then said "Oh look, my floor has already been pressed by someone." She had a smug smile on her face.

Maybe I need some therapy to understand why people being smug and entitled triggers me so much - anyway as I'm getting into the lift I blurted out "You are so rude you know. First you push in front of me, then you tell me I have to wait for you to go to your floor and then I can go to mine, then you blatantly lie to get your own way and look really happy about it". She said that when I get to her age I will understand and I said something along the lines of "Just because you are old, it doesn't entitle you to get your own way and do whatever you want". She got out of the lift and laughed at me and walked off.

I wish I had kept my cool. I had to explain to my 4 year old that mummy was standing up to someone being rude and trying to get their own way, but I think the message of "don't be a pushover" will have been lost to the image of me just arguing with an old lady.

I know I could have done better, but am I totally unreasonable for not wanting to be a people pleasing pushover and for actually standing up to people, regardless of their age? If she had been feeling unwell or looked infirm and at least asked if we could go to her floor first rather than tell me, I'd more than likely have said yes.

She was old, you had two young children. She was behind you, so should have waited. Explain to your child that the old lady was in the wrong. Being older doesn't entitle her to have it all her way. If she was struggling, or using an aid or a wheelchair then that would have changed things.

Years ago someone once said to me that he calls these 'chuckle moments'. All you can do in situations like this is chuckle to yourself that these people need small moments like this to make themselves feel better in life. Their lives are so patheticly meaningless and miserable that the only way they can feel good about themselves is by causing small bits of selfish inconvenience to others. Let them get on with it, and just chuckle to yourself.

This is brilliant I'm going to remember this!

Yes, she was rude, and you were in the right.

Still,

She got out of the lift and laughed at me and walked off.

I can't help admiring the way she dealt with someone arguing with her.

Sounds like you acted and spoke without any issue. No issues speaking up infront of children if done so in the right way.

After the smug smile I would have hit every single button on the way up so it stopped at every floor before it arrived at hers. I would have smiled smugly each time the door opened.

(Also I am kidding for those who think I’m being seriously…maybe…)

No you are not wrong but you are the only one who feels bad about the interaction, she couldn't care less, so you are actually annoying and bothering yourself more by stewing on it - she won and you let her, as she was the one who went off laughing leaving you seething. I'm petty and would have pushed all the buttons in between so she had to stop at every floor, whilst loudly explaining to the children about respect and kindness and waiting our turn ;-)

Yep this- I think sometimes people are trying to provoke a reaction, don’t give them the satisfaction.