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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Incident in bar aibu?

115 replies

Growlingteddybear · 27/10/2024 10:52

Went out last night with a friend. In a different town to usual so weren't familiar with the bars. Thought we would try somewhere that looked nice. I went to the bar and asked if they had any malibu. Bar man said no but we have 2 similar spirits. He handed me a bottle and said smell it to see if I wanted it. I did but it was a dark rum, not sweet like malibu which I fancied. I politely explained I couldn't really tell from the smell so he said try a shot. He then handed me an almost empty spirit bottle. It had literally a drop in the bottom. I assumed he was letting me taste it so I started to drink it and with no warning at all he grabbed the bottle out of my mouth. He banged my tooth and lip and shouted don't drink it! I was that shocked I just turned away and we left. I felt like an idiot at first but when nearly an hour later my mouth still hurt I was angry. I get now it was a misunderstanding but he hurt me. Was I in the wrong?

OP posts:
CatamaranViper · 27/10/2024 17:01

Just to mention, most bars "marry up the spirits", which means pouring small amounts left in bottles into a fuller bottle. Much better than having loads of small amounts of the same spirit left. What was left in that bottle was still classed as stock and could still be sold, especially when added into another bottle making up a full measure.
Might seem daft to the customers, but staff are often treated awfully when it comes to wastage.

Prescottdanni123 · 27/10/2024 17:05

@Dragonflysparkles
So if a barman took one bottle off you to swap it for one that was almost empty to the point that it didn't even have a full measure in, and made no move to get you a glass, you wouldn't find that odd?

Arlanymor · 27/10/2024 17:10

Good for you coming on here to update. Hope your mouth recovers soon!

Dragonflysparkles · 27/10/2024 19:55

Prescottdanni123 · 27/10/2024 17:05

@Dragonflysparkles
So if a barman took one bottle off you to swap it for one that was almost empty to the point that it didn't even have a full measure in, and made no move to get you a glass, you wouldn't find that odd?

Not if he said I’ve got two that are similar to Malibu and gave me one then then other, to smell see if I fancied them. And suggested I have a shot if I did, in response to my comment I couldn’t tell from the smell.

you would? A shot is something that is a single to double measure that comes in a shot glass. It is not something you swig out the bottle when a barman suggests it,

Prescottdanni123 · 27/10/2024 20:18

@Dragonflysparkles

If I was sober and a barman said "Try a shot" and handed me a bottle, I'd question it in disbelief.

If I'd already been drinking beforehand, as OP had, it could well have gone down the hatch before my brain could ponder on whether that is what the barman intended.

Dragonflysparkles · 27/10/2024 21:44

Prescottdanni123 · 27/10/2024 20:18

@Dragonflysparkles

If I was sober and a barman said "Try a shot" and handed me a bottle, I'd question it in disbelief.

If I'd already been drinking beforehand, as OP had, it could well have gone down the hatch before my brain could ponder on whether that is what the barman intended.

Sure, but that’s not what happened here is it,

Prescottdanni123 · 27/10/2024 21:55

@Dragonflysparkles

OP just said she wasn't drunk, not that she hadn't been drinking beforehand 🤷‍♀️

Toptops · 28/10/2024 18:07

It was a misunderstanding, you acted oddly to try and drink from the bottle.
Forget about it!

Mummadeze · 28/10/2024 18:24

Am pretty sure he meant for you to smell it like you did the other one?

Jack80 · 28/10/2024 20:17

Weird of you to drink from the bottle even if handed it. I would have asked for a shot glass but bad behaviour from him. I hope your ok.

Currygirl · 28/10/2024 21:07

Were you already two sheets to the wind that made you think it was appropriate to neck from the bottle while standing at the bar?

Yourcatisnotsorry · 28/10/2024 21:51

You are out of order to try to swig from the bottle. It’s unfortunate that he hurt your mouth grabbing it off you but in what world do you think it’s ok to drink from a spirit bottle you haven’t paid for in a bar?

AllyArty · 28/10/2024 22:27

Why did u drink it from the bottle and not wait/ask for a glass?

BlueFlowers5 · 29/10/2024 01:50

Maybe the bottle was spiked and when you went to drink from it, he couldn't go through with it.

Ger1atricMillennial · 29/10/2024 02:48

Miscommunication is a bitch hey!! !

  1. Don't drink out of bar bottles (you don't know who else has been at them... rats etc)
  2. Lick your wounds and laugh about this in 10 years time!
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