Incident in bar aibu?

[Growlingteddybear]

Went out last night with a friend. In a different town to usual so weren't familiar with the bars. Thought we would try somewhere that looked nice. I went to the bar and asked if they had any malibu. Bar man said no but we have 2 similar spirits. He handed me a bottle and said smell it to see if I wanted it. I did but it was a dark rum, not sweet like malibu which I fancied. I politely explained I couldn't really tell from the smell so he said try a shot. He then handed me an almost empty spirit bottle. It had literally a drop in the bottom. I assumed he was letting me taste it so I started to drink it and with no warning at all he grabbed the bottle out of my mouth. He banged my tooth and lip and shouted don't drink it! I was that shocked I just turned away and we left. I felt like an idiot at first but when nearly an hour later my mouth still hurt I was angry. I get now it was a misunderstanding but he hurt me. Was I in the wrong?

Good grief, why on earth would you think it was okay to swig straight from the bottle? Were you already quite drunk? I'm not surprised he grabbed it from you. You are definitely in the wrong here. I don't think you are in any moral position to make a bit fuss about him accidentally banging your mouth, so please don't try complaining to the bar owner. Just let it go, and behave more like a civilised grown up in future.

Oh gosh op 🤣 I’m really sorry your mouth got hurt and that’s rubbish but honestly, what were you thinking?! I’m assuming you were probably a shandy or two down by this stage, as that was rather an odd thing to do. I’m sure he didn’t mean to hurt you but you can’t start guzzling drink straight from the bottle stood at a bar!

Utterly bizarre behaviour in your part. I can’t imagine why you’d think it ok to drink spirits straight from the bottle in a bar 🤷🏻‍♀️

Mayne not unhygienic but well weird, who drinks spirits from the bottle I'm a bar?

I find it hard to believe, that anyone would think it was okay to drink from the bottle even if it was a teaspoons worth.
I'm also surprised that this being MN that noone has frothed on your behalf and said you should speak to the manager, get the bar man sacked and go to the newspapers /social media with the empty bottle along with a photo of you drinking from it,

It only had a drop left so not really.

It's not unheard of for some pubs to refill bottles from bigger bottles, probably why he didn't want her mouth round it

You really thought he wanted you to drink from the bottle?

The fact you tried to neck a drink from the bottle is insane. Have you been out in bars before?

I'd love to hear his version of the story. I mean go ahead and complain but I imagine they'll back the sober bartender over an intoxicated customer who was trying to drink spirits out of the bottle. A

It was a misunderstanding. He was handling you the bottle to sniff like the first time. When you started to drink from the bottle, making it unsaleable and also probably against all the rules, he panicked and grabbed it. It wasn't the best action on his part, but bar staff are not always greatly experienced in optimum customer service. It can be entry level, casual and temporary and tbf that was unusual customer behaviour. Unless you think he hurt you with aggression on purpose, then I'd be inclined to put this down to an accident.

Was this you OP? 😂

Not sure why everyone’s frothing and clutching their pearls over ops behaviour (well, yes I do, it’s mumsnet lmao) I think it’s pretty obvious that the bartender was in the wrong here

It’s not common to drink from the bottle.

But then again it’s also not common to hand over a bottle.

It was a misunderstanding on your part and nothing to overthink about.
I’m sure he’s dealt with much worse.

I’m not sure why you even mentioned him hurting you.

It obviously wasn’t intentional and comes across as playing the victim so people will agree with you, which isn’t cool.

If you drank directly from a spirit bottle handed to you by a barman then yes you were in the wrong. Surely you don't drink directly out of large bottles at home, never mind in a bar or pub?!
It's a real shame you got hurt. He could've just verbally said 'no'. But honestly it's just so far from the norm to do that I don't really think you can try and claim compensation or anything. I guess it's worth a try but I'd imagine they'd deny you.

He said "Try a shot?"... in which case I would have waited for a shot glass, he didn't say "Have a swig." Sorry but I think your assumption that you should drink from a spirits bottle is weird. Believe you me, I like a drink as much as the next person, I do, but I would never drink from a spirits bottle in a bar - or at home for that matter. I think it was your misunderstanding to be honest and his reaction inadvertently hurt you, he didn't mean to, it was an accident. As a PP said, take an ibuprofen and chalk it up to experience.

OP, you need to get your story straight.

If he was offering you a taste he shouldn't have handed over a bottle. He shouldn't have handed over the bottle at all, even to smell. Tiny amounts in a shot glass are the usual way of allowing a customer to try something before they commit to a full drink.

No one is “frothing” or “clutching pearls” but I understand that every thread like this has to have that one poster who’s all “Oh, I’m too cool for MN, me, but I still hang around and post on threads just to make sure everyone knows how cool I am compared to them lmao (have to add that just to show how down with the kids I am).”

Why was the bartender in the wrong for not wanting some random woman drinking directly from a bottle of spirits she hasn’t paid for in his bar? - do explain?

How ? he handed it to her to smell like the other bottle, he said he’d two offerings. Fancy a shot is not swig it out the bottle it’s if you like the smell would you like a shot.

I don’t think anyone is frothing or pearl clutching. I am stunned you actually think that when a bartender hands you a bottle to smell and says have a shot he means slug it out the bottle. 😂

You should have waited for a glass. He just had an instant reaction, he didn't mean to hurt you, it was an accident. There is no actual damage to your tooth, so no harm done. Not really thread-worthy, is it?

How embarrassing. I’d be wanting to forget all about this incident if it were me, not writing up a post on mumsnet about it.

Exactly this. The bar I used to work in does that.

Even if they were going to throw that empty bottle away - it’s probably been picked up from a cash and carry type place, stored in a dirty cellar, then on a shelf for god knows how long and had multiple bar staff handle it. Of course it’s unhygienic.

This is such a horrible bitchy thread. The OP has had a horrid experience which unsettled them. Piling on to say stupid unhelpful shit is so weird, how unhappy must these people be. Obviously the op regrets it and feels stupid. I actually feel quite depressed at how casually nasty these people are again and again on every thread

It's kind of weird altogether really - him actually handing you the bottle saying take a shot is odd - normally he'd keep hold of it until he got the shot glass. What barman lets their customers hold the bottle while they go and get the glass? So presumably he meant 'smell this one' but didn't communicate it properly. I can understand how the situation happened but equally didn't you think it was a bit weird to swig from a bottle at the bar like that?! Just a weird situation with miscommunication - don't feel too bad about it though.

I’ve worked in hospitality. He broke so SO many policies by handing you the bottle, customers should NEVER handle the bottles