To have frugality fatigue. (Cost of living.)

[KnopkaPixie]

Just that really. To do so well with finances for nearly a month then get an unexpected expense out of left field, pretending that lentil dahl is absolutely delicious, to have signed up to do surveys on YouGov and the rest and have made sod all, can't work any more hours, can't cut costs any more, can't claim anything off the state and to be kicking myself for not saving more when I had the chance. Just a moan really.

I never wanted to be that kind of miserable gît that resents every penny or knows, "The cost of everything but the value of nothing" But that's the way the value brand cookie is not crumbling right now.

Perhaps a bit woo but sometimes I wonder whether a real poverty mindset becomes a self fulfilling prophecy and perhaps a more speculate to accumulate mentality might do me better? Not any manifesting flapdoodle but just an idle thought.

Ah, I've been unhidden - thanks @MNHQ 😁 I shall try to remember not to keep making that mistake 😅

You need friends and support, only you cant afford to keep friendships alive when you are saying no can do at every invite

Perhaps friendships which need funding aren't worth having. I'm so sick of this absolute rampant consumerism everywhere. Special birthdays, Halloween, Easter and of course the Landfill Fest which is Christmas.

I really hope for all on here struggling things get better soon

I have been there and in just a slightly better position now (unless a big bill comes my way) and it’s absolutely draining. I can’t afford a holiday and I think working full time just a short break it is something I should be able to do

Im not sure it is a mindset when you have to consider constantly about money you are spending

the simple answer is wages need to I xrease we can’t all be high earners. I’m in management so have moved up but my wage still just covers basic living costs and no I do not have expensive tastes

Just read your newly reappeared post @MistressoftheDarkSide. It sounds like you've been through the absolute wringer.

I think you are right. Taking big risks when you don't have a cushion is a perilous affair that can't be mitigated with a positive outlook, faith in a paint-by-numbers story arch or an attempt at manifesting 🙄

Twice in two weeks I've seen that Rich House/Poor House programme concluded with the poor house deciding to mimic the rich house and take a stab at property development and it brings me out in a cold sweat. How can people who are living on beans and in rented accommodation with children to care for cover the overheads if they end up with tenants who fuck over a house, or have a home languish on the market because the interest rates go nuts and buyers go AWOL, or they buy a doer upper and the amount of work required is grossly underestimated?

These are the risks that those with money can make because it's a risk taken within a package of other projects, with savings in the bank, security in their own home, a network of knowledgeable friends at their fingertips.

It's nuts.

@MistressoftheDarkSide I am sorry for your situation which is not of your making. I believe Thatcher destroyed the collective psyche in this country. Its all about grasping and getting and money. The kindness has gone. The daft little playgroups with tea and biscuits for 50 p. Churches and kindly older folk welcoming strangers. A hand on a shoulder, somebody bloody noticing.
Once you are out of the loop , you can't get back in again.

Manifesting....utter nonsense. Along with " fighting" illness.

You sound lovely. Unfortunately when we have been to skint to go out for a meal (which is always) my parents and brother still go out without us. I once dropped a birthday present round and they were all ready to go out for something to eat and I couldn't go. Cried all the way home after that one.

I do have one lovely friend who is doing OK for herself and she is so kind and treats me to lovely things. I just feel shit that I can't repay the favour.

I really agree with this!

I'm like a bloody voice in the wilderness. Its a definite collective shift, the fire fanned by SM. All about stuff.

@NasiDagang you really have missed the point haven't you.

Please tell your friends if you are skint. I have one such who is also single.
I travel to her.
I treat her sometimes but not too often as it's embarassing, so we walk and do free things like go to art galleries/ museums.

I watched Rich House Poor House last night and spent an hour wondering what the hell I was watching. The "poor" family were clueless with money and still clearly had Derby County season tickets despite having a £6k debt management plan in place and only £78 a week to live off. (One of the twins said "we normally sit up there don't we or words to that effect) And thinking property will cure all their ills. The rich couple were equally clueless and we're really patronising, the blonde lady struck me as being really clueless.

Yes. Funny how Thatcher said there’s no such thing as society whilst at the same time promoting care in the community. She was the ‘greed is good’ advocate and we are still suffering the consequences.

Are people really giving advice on how to make Dahl taste better? That's the takeaway from the op 🤣

I’m in the wilderness with you. Your post almost moved me to tears (a rare thing). Thatcher started the dismantling of UK society and the relentless drive to satisfy the shareholder has done the rest.

To be fair some people on benefits are better off than lower earning working people- and I'm absolutely not judging- the benefit system is good, it's as it should and needs to be, it's just maybe there should be a sliding scale where people who are working but lower earners get a bit more help.
My daughters friend lives across the road from me, she's in a bigger flat paid through housing benefit, she has a baby and is a single mother so she doesn't work- completely understandably but because of that she also gets free school lunches, help with uniforms etc. She's very clearly better off than me in terms of disposable income but she's doing nothing wrong and I don't feel that she shouldn't be getting help- of course she should. In the long run also I own my own house, my mortgage is money that will be mine eventually when I sell my house, everyone has their own struggles.

I'm feeling very frustrated about everything to day- I just got paid, I have three children and I work constantly and after paying everything to day I have enough left to get a food shop and that's it, i'll be scraping by again for the rest of the month. I actually cried this morning it's so frustrating how expensive everything's getting.

Just to add because of the post I replied to I don't believe the squeezed middle class are the worst off! I'm talking lower earners (lower than myself) like people on minimum wage/zero hour contracts etc.

@greenday16B I help to run a little mother and baby group at my church, we don’t charge anything and I bake cake every week for it, there is still kindness but you have to look harder. We are an outlier in the area, there is nothing else accessible without transport that is free and for young mums on maternity leave the extra is often not affordable.

I agree in general that this monetisation of everything goes back to Thatcher and I wish things were better for everyone on this thread. She famously said there was no such thing as society, but that only works if you are wealthy.

...some people on benefits are better off than lower earning working people...

Yes, granted, but my point was that people on benefits are NOT better off than "the squeezed middle" (of which I am one, and I much prefer my situation to someone on benefits).

It sounds delightful. Isolation is a terrible thing.
I would tell you about my activities but I'd be accused of " virtue sigalling " no doubt.

@greenday16B I certainly wouldn’t say that, sometimes it is good to know that there are people swimming against the tide with you and that there is still kindness out there. A little hope.

It's so hard at the moment. I have been on benefits and when I came off them
I was somehow much worse off. I was very lucky in falling into the job I have when trying to get out of Nursing but up until now it feels like I am literally working, cleaning, providing the bear minimum my kids need and still feeling like I am chasing payday - Thankfully my child will be out of his criminally expensive Nursery by January but even then, if shit hits the fan we have to borrow money to fix/replace.

That is my biggest frustrating. I have absolutely nothing in terms of assets except a phone, TV and computer (other things aren't really considered "assets" and honestly neither should those three things be considered) that I can leave for my kids when I die. So there is nothing that leaves a bitter taste in my mouth more than my twat of a landlord whining and complaining that mortgage rates have gone up and that they have to repair the illegally dangerous steps in our garden, when they have 25 other houses they rent out for 1k or more each per month.

Here's an idea: If you cant afford to repair your housing stock or cover mortgage increases without it heavily impacting on your tenants then don't become a fucking landlord!!!!

I've just been told we are helpfully getting paid early in December so no UC for me as it means i'm getting paid twice in the 30day assessment period, Merry fucking Christmas😂. On top of that I have to stretch that pay 5weeks instead of 4.

That's appalling.

Except this massively changes the price point compared to the basic lentil and can of tomatoes version.

Making it bloody lovely doubles the price per serving (at least).

This shouldn’t happen, though. It’s the one (vv rare) occasion where, providing the employer handles the payroll properly (by reporting pay on the ‘normal’ date not the early date, which they are legally supposed to do), it doesn’t count as two lots of pay in one period.

https://moneysoft.co.uk/support/paying-employees-early-at-christmas/

If being paid early is screwing up UC, the employer has got it wrong.