To have frugality fatigue. (Cost of living.)

[KnopkaPixie]

Just that really. To do so well with finances for nearly a month then get an unexpected expense out of left field, pretending that lentil dahl is absolutely delicious, to have signed up to do surveys on YouGov and the rest and have made sod all, can't work any more hours, can't cut costs any more, can't claim anything off the state and to be kicking myself for not saving more when I had the chance. Just a moan really.

I never wanted to be that kind of miserable gît that resents every penny or knows, "The cost of everything but the value of nothing" But that's the way the value brand cookie is not crumbling right now.

Perhaps a bit woo but sometimes I wonder whether a real poverty mindset becomes a self fulfilling prophecy and perhaps a more speculate to accumulate mentality might do me better? Not any manifesting flapdoodle but just an idle thought.

Can you emigrate?

To where exactly?

I don't hate you for this. It's a variation on 'Fake it till you make it.' I try always to look well presented and not let the buggers get me down. Don't ever let it show.

I voted you are being unreasonable because dal is delicious, you just may not know how to prepare it well. Couldn’t take the rest of your post seriously after that.

Seriously? That's your takeaway from this thread? 🤔🙄

This may turn into the who makes the best lentil dahl thread. Well, I for one am bored of it and scrubbing the tumeric stain out of my very old worktop after being a bit slovenly on the wooden spoon front, thus incuring yet more unwanted expense on oven cleaner which was the only thing that shifted it after all the usual bicarbonate of soda and white vinegar advice drivel has cured me of this delicacy for the meantime.

I think you just have to have the mindset that things will eventually get better. Just peaks and troughs in life. Mortgage interest rates are coming down, slowly, but hopefully will eventually come down to a more manageable rate. Gas/electric already down from a year ago. Petrol coming down. I think atm, lots of uncertainty about what’s coming in the budget, which is worrying a lot of people. I’ve been poor, I’ve been comfortable, and poor again. Okay now, but situations can change for the worse or the better in the blink of an eye. Just hold on in there OP. Sending positive hugs.

Yes, I share your exhaustion, it really is soul destroying. My one saving grace was ordering little treats for myself. Now I can’t afford to do that, there’s nothing to look forward to, there’s no fun. Constantly rationing my food is bloody miserable too. Hug.

Oh I know the smug retiree you mean - she blocked me ages ago when I asked a perfectly innocuous question about whether she spoke French! She's the same age as me and I find her insufferable!
I know what you mean about constant frugality though. It becomes such a grind. Things that were once taken for granted are now out of reach.

I don't know if it's any comfort whatsoever OP, but you write really well. 'Distressful upsetment' is genius.

You will grind upwards. Mindset doesn’t resolve things, but I think it can help distract from the worst times. I’ve been in tough times and found muttering slogans soothing, but probably not magical. The tetrapharmakos bit about what is good is easy to get. Or whatever floats your boat. We all need a motto for life. Hang in there. Daal gets wearisome after a while. But channel your inner foie gras goose and get it down you - rocket fuel for lift off.

Her latest is a classic.

Here I am, yet again. What I am going to do now after emptying out everything into little bowls, just like Délia Smith in 1982. With the annoying music in the background and lingering long shots of my highly désirable property.

Why, you guessed it! I'm going to to make a Frankenstein mess of roast potatoes, brussel sprouts, parmesan cheese and gluten free pasta with this, rather than just eating the leftovers heated up in the microwave like any normal person.

Have you ever heard of this? It's called sliced ham in a packet. But this very luxurious. You could use tinned tuna. Perhaps if you are very old, come from The North, failed your schooling, work in manual labour or have had your tongue extracted in a freak industrial accident you will not mind the juxtaposition of congealed 48 hour aged in the fridge gravy and tinned fish.

I will now cook ths for 9 hours in my wood fired stove to my complete satisfaction.

I used to teach English as a Foreign Language y'know but I am reluctant to disclose my proper income because none of this makes sense and if anybody asks me a real question I get ratty and flustered.

Read the room people. The Op is not struggling because she is a bad cook or hasn't found the perfect Dahl recipe. She is struggling because she is broke and a boring, cheap Dahl is the only thing she can afford to eat at the moment.

Some people have never really struggled and it shows. Keep persevering Op, it's hard to see it sometimes but things do get better. Try to keep putting any little bit away that you can. I find it's good to have a vent and then move on, try to not to stay in that angry/sad place for to long.

Its a shit struggle at the moment but your dad will be incredibly proud when the studying pays off and you hit the comfortable money.

Giving him that first gift will be a gem of a moment. You will get there!

I count myself lucky that I am not well. Last two years, Heart failure, heart valve regurgitation, heart attack, atrial fibrillation, uncontrollable high blood pressure, acid reflux, stage 3 kidney failure, "some" fatty liver, acute medication induced liver failure, diabetes, constant constipation, numb but excruciatingly painful legs/feet, persistent toe infections, frequent UTIs, can't hardly walk, struggle to breathe, blurred vision, insomnia, depression, haemorrhoids, rashes, itching, chest pains, nausea, back pain. Oh, and all my teeth crumbled and fell out so I have stumps I can't get treated because I am totally housebound with no transport as I don't have the strength to lift my legs, nor can I lift myself out of a taxi. I have a transport wheelchair but my husband has a bad hernia so can't push me with the added water retention weight on me. I am lucky though because all that means I don't want to eat...ever, so I am cheap to feed. Most days I have a yogurt, a blueberry muffin, a small ham sandwich, 3 cups of tea and a can of aldi cola. Doesn't cost much fortunately.

To list all this is not outing. I can't get near a doctor outside of emergency hospital admissions so my medical record contains very little of this information. Despite all of it being officially diagnosed, not much has been entered into my records and what has been is never read. My GP asked me last week, "why are you on all these heart medications". The duty consultant prescribed them all when I had a heart attack and nobody has bothered following up on me since, despite multiple phone calls.

The one time I managed to get a consultant appointment and patient transport lined up, patient transport showed up 9 minutes before my appointment at the hospital 40 minutes journey away, at which point we all got stuck in the lift. No appointment. Classed as a no show. Patient transport was supposed to sort it out but didn't bother.

P.S. I am aware saying I can't get near a doctor before saying what my GP said to me last week sounds like I am lying about the first part there. He phoned me up to chew me out about needing a repeat prescription for painkillers and told me I couldn't possibly be in pain with my legs because he said so. I tried to mention my swelling up with water, for the umpteenth time this year, but he told me no time to talk about that and he hung up.

I'm sorry you are having such a tough time of it OP. The relentless stress over being able to afford (or not) the basics is awful.

Novels were my escape when times were unkind, but I appreciate that you are already studying and probably mentally exhausted from that.

@KnopkaPixie I've used lots of dal recipes and this is the absolute best. A few ingredients I omit such as asafoetida etc to keep costs down. if you buy the items as an initial outlay you can feed yourself amazing dal for a month. even for your recipe, I wouldn't ever use tinned tomatoes because those are about a pound now, use a small onion and small tomato instead.

It's the dal tarka recipe from 'cooking shooking'

However I hear you op! Extreme Frugality is only doable in tiny bursts and easier when there's a tangible reward or benefit to show for it such as watching a pot of savings grow to show for all the sacrifices.

Just to add, I only use red lentils for the Cooking shooking tarka dal recipe to keep costs down!

It costs money to simmer things for a long time! Gas and electricity are expensive and add to the cost of the meal. Spices and herbs are not free. Every penny matters! When you are on a strict budget you are constantly having to cut corners. That jar of cumin may be just the item that puts you over your weekly budget. This is exactly why poverty grinds you down.

I also use a normal saucepan to cook the dal with, I don't have a pressure cooker.

Yep. I suffer with low iron at the best of times but right now I’m constantly tired exhausted by iron deficiency. I can’t afford red meat. I’m borderline vegetarian because I can’t afford meat in general. I get one sainsburys extra small chicken a week, which costs about £2.50 and that’s literally the only meat I have. I can’t even afford the extra £3 to get iron supplements because my food budget is £15 a week. It’s exhausting.

so sorry @KnopkaPixie I added another dal recipe before reading this post, feel free to ignore me. Hope things improve for you and your family!

Am sure we all thank you for your valuable contribution to the thread 🫡....

I get it OP. Dahl is just the same as beans on toast. If you HAVE to eat it, it doesn’t matter how nice you have made it. It’s the same again.

One of the cost saving things I did was to by milk powder instead of fresh milk. I worked out that every time I went to buy milk I would end up buying other things as well. I bought at small bottle milk the other day and it felt like a luxury.

Also I have been very worried about pensions and the fact that I won’t be able to retire. I got it alright in my head, then I looked at my Instagram and the algorithm just fed me posts of … why you should save in your 20s. It made me so upset I closed it down and deleted it. Now it’s jigsaws from the charity shop and books from the library for entertainment

I have been where you are
Variety is key
Even a steak daily gets annoying
Here are some cheap meals

• potatoes....chips, jacket potato, etc

Pasta- veg pasta, Mac and cheese Noodles Cheese and onion pasties Pilau rice (veg) Chickpea curry

I did alot with potatoes
Cut them in quarters
Boil them
Then throw beans on top and cheese if luxury
You have cheap jacket potato