To have frugality fatigue. (Cost of living.)

[KnopkaPixie]

Just that really. To do so well with finances for nearly a month then get an unexpected expense out of left field, pretending that lentil dahl is absolutely delicious, to have signed up to do surveys on YouGov and the rest and have made sod all, can't work any more hours, can't cut costs any more, can't claim anything off the state and to be kicking myself for not saving more when I had the chance. Just a moan really.

I never wanted to be that kind of miserable gît that resents every penny or knows, "The cost of everything but the value of nothing" But that's the way the value brand cookie is not crumbling right now.

Perhaps a bit woo but sometimes I wonder whether a real poverty mindset becomes a self fulfilling prophecy and perhaps a more speculate to accumulate mentality might do me better? Not any manifesting flapdoodle but just an idle thought.

I'm so sorry and really can relate. We've not had a holiday for 7 years and I feel like a shit mum. I got a wage rise recently and something else has totally wiped it out and I am SICK TO DEATH of going round Lidl with my phone out to use the calculator. I've got a friend who keeps suggesting we go for a coffee and I don't have the money for a fucking coffee?

The best dal in the world is dull when that’s all you can eat.

OP you write well. I think I would like you in real life. Can you start something like a blog? I am too old to advise you on how people earn money from that sort of thing but just a thought.

I don't why this really got to me, can you be honest with your mate ? If they knew I am sure they would stand you the coffee.

To the poster above yes I am a doctor and have seen and worked with people in grinding unremitting poverty my whole career. Suggestions such as adding coconut milk to dhal are vacuous and show less than no empathy or understanding of the psychological and often physical impact that constant preoccupation with having enough resources has on people.

vacuous is a grand word.

I get it - we've had worse times when kids were really young - when I was literally hunting for pennies in bags and down sofa to add to piles for the week spending - and doing without prescription meds and copying with leaking shoes. However always had hope things would improve for us and they did.

Now since covid - we've massive cut backs and reduced outgoings increased income - with associated stress - and every month things just get more expensive - it's like we are running to stay still.

Now we're also older and it seems like this is the way it is possible forever. It's endless rising costs, shrinkflation and cheaper options disappearing.

I just popped out for milk and bread we do big shop for month start of next week- we gone though all UHT milk and likely this milk won't last till then - 2 loaves one in reduced section and two bottles of milk £5.01. Then DH wanted to look in charity shop - £10 - 2 pairs of good nick reputable brand trousers - will come in for DS for Christmas - it's still 15 pounds I was not expect to spend and now likely spend I have to do midweek for DD1 will push me into over draft again - which will get worse next as credit card comes in next month as DD2 had quiet a few school things that went on that last month- which means next month will be yet another tight month. Doesn't feel like I'm living the high life and our income not bad compared to national levels.

It's a much longer problem than just coffee, I have hosted her and her family in my house for years and years and years and not once has she returned the favour. I never did it to get an invite back but maybe 2 years ago I stopped arranging (and catering!) get togethers and now we hardly see each other. Or she constantly suggests going for a coffee which fucks me off.

This!

We were on the bones of our arse since 2013. Finally qualified in my field after 7 years of low full-time wages, alongside studying in the evening and weekends to better our life. Received a payrise on qualification. Finally I thought, things were looking up and going our way, then DH had an accident at work last year, and has lost his job this year after long-term sick leave, he's now temporarily disabled and can't work. Back again to watching every penny.

Through the 7 years of struggling all that kept me going was the hope of a better future. A holiday finally for the DC, it's now not going to happen, as we can just about cover our day-to-day bills, fingers crossed nothing breaks. Flat tyre earlier this month, and the repair had to be put on a credit card. I just want to cry.

My friend mentioned last week, she's already bought my Christmas present, I didn't have the heart to say there's no money for Christmas presents for anyone this year.

Big hugs to everyone struggling right now. It's so hard.

@lifeisnotstraigtforward I'm so sorry about your husband. It is just total and utter dog bab.

Thanks so much. Just trying to keep cheerful for the kids.

Sorry about your friend and the coffee @DungareesAndTrombones

Maybe FFS was more concise but expressed the same sentiment.

So called "Austerity" is a deliberate choice to ruin lives. The word must have been very carefully selected. It evokes a sort of jolly war time sing a long. A large bossomed lady with a brown teapot. We're all in it together.

Only we're not. The posh boys aren't experiencing austerity.

Not every country in the UK has prescription charges though! Maybe the pp suggesting GP prescription didn’t realise that some do?

And how do you decide that?! I am a part of that and it is rubbish! No spare cash for anything after working hard your whole bloody life and taxed to death. Ppl on benefits better off than you and you work full time while paying off student loans and they sit on their arse. More and more ppl who have a choice are leaving. At one point the UK attracted ppl from different countries( Pakistan, India, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, Nigeria etc.) who came here for a better life, I now personally know atleast 5 ppl who have left for Australia, Middle East and India. So unless the government realise that they need to tax the rich corporations who evade taxes and also the billionaires who use all the possible tax havens to store their money, they will lose ppl who came here for good quality of life as nowadays there is none! The government also need to stop handing out money to able bodied healthy ppl and instead make policies like free childcare, bf clubs, after school clubs to enable ppl to work full time and without excuses. Currently the cost of childcare becomes prohibitive for a lot of ppl. If you tax just the middle to death they will leave and then what happens?! Who is going to foot the bill?! Why do you think ppl come on boats here?! Are they no safe countries they can go to before they reach the UK?! No they come here due the handouts, look at switzerland, no handouts, no one stays there as cost of living is too high. And yes, living on the breadline is horrible and it is made worse when you worked hard all your life to get out of that only to find that it still leaves you with nothing!

Not sure why some people are getting arsey over a pp’s suggestion of coconut milk. If it’s unbranded it’s not outrageously expensive (79p) and can be frozen and used more than one time, and can elevate a bland cheap dish.

I think generally on these sorts of threads the OP is posting about a broad, general issue with a few examples and posters tend to get a bit fixated about fixing those few examples. It’s not really about the daal

Or perhaps the person suggesting coconut milk was just trying to be helpful. Would you have sworn at her in real life and called her vacuous for mentioning a helpful tip?

It’s not really helpful if they can’t afford to buy the coconut milk though.

Coconut milk isn't an essential food stuff. 79p is a pack of carrots.

Eat dark green leaves, i.e. cabbage, kale, etc. with cooking, preferably steamed not boiled.

That should say minimal cooking

So bloody true. The country never recovered and it has become the norm. Grinding poverty is bloody horrible and I really feel for anyone affected. It’s especially galling when you work all the hours just to survive. We’re definitely not all in this together.

Maybe a Daal / Roland Dahl thread?

Is Roland Roald's long lost brother?

Who is Roland Dahl..

I am obsessed with freezing! have now got into the habit of labelling and dating everything so I bypass that "what the hell is this?" puzzle when I am delving in the freezer looking for something to eat. I have days when I bulk cook mainly using my slow cooker, I do soups, curries, pasta sauces and stews . It really does help to cut costs and the results are mostly very tasty.