To have frugality fatigue. (Cost of living.)

[KnopkaPixie]

Just that really. To do so well with finances for nearly a month then get an unexpected expense out of left field, pretending that lentil dahl is absolutely delicious, to have signed up to do surveys on YouGov and the rest and have made sod all, can't work any more hours, can't cut costs any more, can't claim anything off the state and to be kicking myself for not saving more when I had the chance. Just a moan really.

I never wanted to be that kind of miserable gît that resents every penny or knows, "The cost of everything but the value of nothing" But that's the way the value brand cookie is not crumbling right now.

Perhaps a bit woo but sometimes I wonder whether a real poverty mindset becomes a self fulfilling prophecy and perhaps a more speculate to accumulate mentality might do me better? Not any manifesting flapdoodle but just an idle thought.

OP poverty can be absolutely grinding. Years ago I worked as many hours as I could doing a NMW job, the bank were clearing out my account every month with charges and I was on the bones of my arse.

I'm ok now, but I remember scraping pennies together to get milk or bread. It's absolutely exhausting.

Thankyou. I've got a broken but repaired front tooth which has just started hurting today. I've just pressed it and it clicked so the fake corner is going to fall off soon.
Got to.pay for that. Just gets tiring.

I think you're completely justified to feel that way. Very different to saving money for a few months to clear a debt or save for a goal.

I had been doing alright, and then I have just had to pay £2900 to the dentist so I feel you. Haven't had a credit card for a decade until August and now I feel why the fick am I so careful when this happens and now I've got a debt. Not even for pleasureable purposes.

I miss the days when I used to be able to buy a Yankee candle, or a new pair of winter boots in the sale, or a book from Waterstones, some moisturiser from boots, or ingredients for a recipe.

All my clothes and shoes are second hand. Books are second hand or borrowed from the library, don't have nice moisturisers or body lotions or perfume. Can't afford to buy sports wear or a swimming costume. My dad buys me an annual haircut for Christmas.

I don't ever eat out, sold my car as it was too expensive to run. I've been refused private rent because of my income even though I have savings and a guarantor, even offering 6 months upfront front, nothing. Haven't had a holiday for 3 years. Receive child benefit but nothing else.

Worked all my life. Was in a better position financially at 17 than now.

It's really tough

To kind of add insult to injury, I've just made myself a distressful upsetment by watching some silly patronising cow on Youtube, ''Living a thifty and frugal life here as early retirees in our four bedroom farmhouse here in rural Brittany, France."

She talks to you very slowly and carefully about how to use parmesan to enrich your white sauce for a nourishing gluten free pasta bake in between making patchwork quilts and beating off seasonally affective depression by...

Ooh blimey.

Yeah making patchwork quilts are expensive and I don’t go out of my way to buy a different type of cheese. I don’t eat dhal but I will make soup, sausage stews and other simple meals.
I make what I am eating for the week in one day and I eat the same things every week.

Dhal is basically boiled lentils with a tin of tomatoes and curry powder. It's not the best. At least not in the cheapskate version.

So sorry to hear re private rent. How are you managing?
Have you tried FB Marketplece fur a private landlord? There would be many that would take the 6 months up front happily.

It’s horrible. Grinds you down till you feel like a Poundland Ghost. The day after Hallowe’en.

Very unhealthy, very bad for your head, ruins your aspirations. Scary, too, when you get frightened about not having enough to eat.

No advice OP but I get it. The jolly sounding Blitz spirit 'live off benefits level money for a week' stuff you get on TV overlooks that it's a completely different ball game to just keep doing that for weeks, months, years maybe with no clear end point to look forward to.

Thinking good thoughts that something comes along for all of you in this position. And don't watch any of the idiots banging on about frugal living in big houses on YouTube.

Was offered a place in a DV shelter but my dad has put me and DD up in his flat. It's a bit cramped but we are managing. Never thought I would be in this situation but I'm very grateful for my Dad, he has been a lifeline. Im studying now to (hopefully) get a nice pay rise, that should take us from breadline to comfortable(ish).

Definitely hearing you!
i think ‘if I’m really careful this month’ but reality means I’m in the same position month on month.
No treats, no eating out etc.
Just feels like Groundhog Day, can’t see an end, we’ve cut back everywhere.
Never thought at our age it would be like this, but we’ve got a roof over our heads.

I eat this most days (makes 4 portions)
onion, garlic, aubergine, courgette, mushrooms, passata/chopped tomatoes, spinach, chickpeas, a couple of olives and tiny bit of feta. Cook with water instead of oil.

Herbal tea instead of coffee these days £7.50 in Sainsbury's local for bog standard coffee!!

Also oats and water for breakfast. Sometimes with a banana.

Plenty of soups & stews, lentils, rice

Not that inspiring but at least vaguely healthy.

@Coolbreezee

Absolute best of luck to you. I was in your position in 2002 but with 4 children I did get a HA house. Things are awful now. Good on you for studying and taking action. You should be proud of what you are doing.

Yanbu on the whole, but...lentil dahl is bloody delicious if you make it right, and I say that as a meat eater. But yeah, the rest of it, utter wank.

I know I'm missing the point and you probably don't care but

https://veggiedesserts.com/red-lentil-dahl/

Extra cumin/coriander and simmer for longer, bloody lovely 🙂

You're being heard clearly over here. I'm tired of it now.

I get this completely! Sick of living on the breadline even though we both work hard. I do have 4 kids though so I guess I’ve pushed my luck!

I'm sorry op! It is hard and I can remember those days when I was scared to face another day of no money and more bills to pay
I hope things look up for you soon.

I understand and agree. I miss my car so much, that was my last little bit of freedom. I cried when I had to sell it. I'm sick of saying to myself all the time that it's okay, I can manage without most things. Poverty is grinding me down slowly.

We have been working towards a goal for a very long time. We would finally have some breathing space but just as that was in touching distance my husband was made redundant. There is always something! Soul destroying

I've worked in catering and hospitality quite a bit and I know how to make the best version of most things but I look at every recipe now and think about how I can pare it down to the barest edible minimum.

Thankyou anyway. Please don't take this the wrong way. This time next year we'll be millionnaires Rodney-ella and you can come round to my mansion and we'll dîne on the best, most authentic dahl and rice ever!

Perhaps with a side order of steak.

I fucking hope so 🙂

I didn't mean to be patronising, it was just funny as I was eating it as I read your post

People will hate this, but OP I do think mindset is something. I definitely got myself into a ‘poverty’ mindset a year or so ago and I noticed that it seemed to make everything worse.

I flipped it and (against my better judgement) started saying a mantra: “I have everything I need” (which is true for the vast majority of us).

I can’t claim that it’s had magic powers but… due to some circumstances changing with work I am now earning more than I’ve ever earned in my life. Might be coincidence!